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Editorial Reviews
The stars of Starship Troopers are back in action! Mike (Casper Van Dien) decides to hit the road on his refurbished classic motorcycle along with best buddy Alex (Patrick Muldoon), but their trek takes a surprising turn when they become involved in a plan involving political blackmail, corruption, and dirty money. Carrying evidence that could get them killed at any minute, the boys are chased on the open road but turn their skills to their own advantage. William Forsythe (Raising Arizona) and Theresa Russell (Wild Things) also star in this gun-blazing, rip-roaring adventure from the director of Every Which Way But Loose you’ll never forget!
Customer Reviews
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
By Scott Lucas
Format:DVD
This movie falls within my top two worst movies I've ever seen. Don't get me wrong, I definitely like the guilty pleasure of an occasional "B" movie. As long as I'm entertained, I'm not a stickler for award-winning camera work or directing. However, this is a couple hours of my life I won't get back.
This movie goes absolutely nowhere. The plot (if you can call it that) is choppy and doesn't make sense in places. There are a couple of things I'm going to say here that might be considered spoilers, but I can't imagine anyone is going to purchase this movie after the reviews here anyway.
The gorgeous biker babe on the cover . . . has nothing to do with the movie. There isn't anyone who looks like that in the movie, nor is there anyone who dresses like that in the movie. There are several scenes which *really* heavily hint that it is a sequel to "Easy Rider" (and draws a LOT of parallels to it), but of course without enough to endanger a lawsuit or complaint. His father was even killed on a bike that looks suspiciously like the "Easy Rider" bike Peter Fonda rode (after hooking up with his mom briefly), which is completely wrecked and still in his mom's garage. He decides to use the frame from his bike to bring it back to life while pointedly admiring the antique engine for a while . . . which doesn't even end up in the "restored" bike.
There is a scene where he needs to replace a bunch of money stolen from him (meant for the grandson of an old veteran), so he throws an impromptu biker concert to raise money. It is supposed to be a huge crowd passing around the helmet and each person generously puts in a few dollars, and the scene is always filmed close to the stage showing "all" of the people . . . which I estimate to be around 12. He still raises thousands of dollars. There wasn't even enough planning to get a bunch of extras.
One thing that you at least get out of "B" movies is gorgeous women and nudity . . . neither of which is in this movie. There is a 1 second flash of a nipple at one point, but if you blink you'll miss it. The movie is shot in higher quality than most "B" movies and with a number of actors who are at least recognizable (if not well-known), but that seems to be where the entire budget went. I literally found nothing redeeming about this movie whatsoever.
This movie goes absolutely nowhere. The plot (if you can call it that) is choppy and doesn't make sense in places. There are a couple of things I'm going to say here that might be considered spoilers, but I can't imagine anyone is going to purchase this movie after the reviews here anyway.
The gorgeous biker babe on the cover . . . has nothing to do with the movie. There isn't anyone who looks like that in the movie, nor is there anyone who dresses like that in the movie. There are several scenes which *really* heavily hint that it is a sequel to "Easy Rider" (and draws a LOT of parallels to it), but of course without enough to endanger a lawsuit or complaint. His father was even killed on a bike that looks suspiciously like the "Easy Rider" bike Peter Fonda rode (after hooking up with his mom briefly), which is completely wrecked and still in his mom's garage. He decides to use the frame from his bike to bring it back to life while pointedly admiring the antique engine for a while . . . which doesn't even end up in the "restored" bike.
There is a scene where he needs to replace a bunch of money stolen from him (meant for the grandson of an old veteran), so he throws an impromptu biker concert to raise money. It is supposed to be a huge crowd passing around the helmet and each person generously puts in a few dollars, and the scene is always filmed close to the stage showing "all" of the people . . . which I estimate to be around 12. He still raises thousands of dollars. There wasn't even enough planning to get a bunch of extras.
One thing that you at least get out of "B" movies is gorgeous women and nudity . . . neither of which is in this movie. There is a 1 second flash of a nipple at one point, but if you blink you'll miss it. The movie is shot in higher quality than most "B" movies and with a number of actors who are at least recognizable (if not well-known), but that seems to be where the entire budget went. I literally found nothing redeeming about this movie whatsoever.
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars
A Long Trip To Nowhere--Don't Expect Either Great Biker Action Or A Satisfying Conclusion
July 8, 2011
Format:DVD
I'm going to start things off on an uncharacteristic note. I'll talk about the actual movie "Born to Ride" in a bit, but I find it necessary to address the inherent misrepresentation of the DVD packaging first. For good or bad, this B-movie is what it is--but one thing it is not is a hardcore biker epic. The cover art on the DVD is designed to evoke a completely different movie. On the cover, there's a busty biker babe holding a shotgun with two nasty looking characters in the background. On the back, there is a team of bikers equipped with fire arms--one is even shooting while driving. While colorful and hard edged, these images do not represent ANYTHING even resembling the content of the film. It is not about renegade bikers and there are no armed and dangerous riders. The central characters just happen to be a part of the biker community--but the movie really isn't about that. To further distort the truth of the movie, its tag line is "Anarchy Is Their Middle Name" (clearly an effort to draw parallels to the much more authentic feeling TV show "Sons of Anarchy"). But once again, the characters are law abiding and rather respectful. Anarchy? Huh?
If you watch this, and I don't recommend it, you'll see exactly what I mean. The lead characters are played by Casper Van Dien as a sensitive biker with daddy issues and Patrick Muldoon in full surfer dude persona. These aren't rough and tumble types at all. The film has several plot threads, the most significant involves a corrupt politician. He is involved in some vaguely nefarious dealings with bad guy William Forsythe. Want more explanation than that? You won't get it in this sketchy screenplay. When two low level hoods try to blackmail the congressman, they end up on the wrong side of this very bad man. They drop the evidence used in the blackmail in Muldoon's bag, and before you know it--Forythe's comedic henchman are in hot pursuit. They might have just as easily put the tape in a girl scout's satchel and called the movie "Born to Sell Cookies"--that's how thinly drawn the plot is.
Really, it's all rather harmless. It's not funny or campy enough to be a guilty pleasure. Theresa Russell does the best she can as Van Dien's mother, and both the boys are pleasant and engaging. The film, however, is an unqualified disaster in my mind for one reason--the lazy screenplay. Just as you've followed the silliness to the inevitable confrontation--you get nothing. Zero. The biggest tease and most pointless conclusion you're likely to see. Heck, it's not even a conclusion--it's so unforgivably anticlimactic. It invalidates and dismisses everything that you've spent the movie watching. Did the budget run out? Ultimately, the film is so unfocused and so random and so meaningless. I wish I could say this was any kind of fun, but the ending dissolved any trace of good will I had left. Maybe you'll like it better than I--just know beforehand that it is rather lightweight and totally misrepresented by its marketing. KGHarris, 7/11.
If you watch this, and I don't recommend it, you'll see exactly what I mean. The lead characters are played by Casper Van Dien as a sensitive biker with daddy issues and Patrick Muldoon in full surfer dude persona. These aren't rough and tumble types at all. The film has several plot threads, the most significant involves a corrupt politician. He is involved in some vaguely nefarious dealings with bad guy William Forsythe. Want more explanation than that? You won't get it in this sketchy screenplay. When two low level hoods try to blackmail the congressman, they end up on the wrong side of this very bad man. They drop the evidence used in the blackmail in Muldoon's bag, and before you know it--Forythe's comedic henchman are in hot pursuit. They might have just as easily put the tape in a girl scout's satchel and called the movie "Born to Sell Cookies"--that's how thinly drawn the plot is.
Really, it's all rather harmless. It's not funny or campy enough to be a guilty pleasure. Theresa Russell does the best she can as Van Dien's mother, and both the boys are pleasant and engaging. The film, however, is an unqualified disaster in my mind for one reason--the lazy screenplay. Just as you've followed the silliness to the inevitable confrontation--you get nothing. Zero. The biggest tease and most pointless conclusion you're likely to see. Heck, it's not even a conclusion--it's so unforgivably anticlimactic. It invalidates and dismisses everything that you've spent the movie watching. Did the budget run out? Ultimately, the film is so unfocused and so random and so meaningless. I wish I could say this was any kind of fun, but the ending dissolved any trace of good will I had left. Maybe you'll like it better than I--just know beforehand that it is rather lightweight and totally misrepresented by its marketing. KGHarris, 7/11.
2 of 3 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars
Putting a couple of boneheads on motorcycles does not a "biker movie" make
July 10, 2011
By DVD Verdict
Format:DVD
Judge Tom Becker, DVD Verdict -- "Why tell a story if you've no story to tell? Born to Ride is like an unsold pilot episode for a basic-cable adventure series, the kind that the programming wizards at the USA network would have laughed out of the room. It ambles along with no particular story or point of view, and features shoddy production values and phone-it-in performances. The half-assedry on display here is stupefying. Seriously. Ninety minutes of your life tossed out like so many Mardi Gras beads on a dull anecdote that you wouldn't have listened to for five minutes. That's Born to Ride. There is nothing to recommend about this movie. It's not exciting, it's not funny, it's atrociously acted and plotted--for the life of me, I can't figure out why this thing even exists. As far as biker movies go, I found myself longing for the comparatively grittier and wittier Old Dogs. Yes, it's that bad."
Most Recent Customer Reviews
1.0 out of 5 stars
BORN TO WASTE 90 MINUTES OF MY LIFE
Trust me.............this movie had some potential with the initial premise but in the end if falls terribly Flat. The Storyline had this movie trying to be to many things . Read more
Published 19 months ago by Terrence A. Henderson
1.0 out of 5 stars
Not Born To Ride
The story behind this movie, if true, might explain it. Apparently the film makers struggled to fund the movie for three years and struggled to pull this together. Read more
Published 20 months ago by Big IV
1.0 out of 5 stars
poor biker movie
save your money movie was poorly done not as good as above the law or stone cold not on the level of easy rider
Published 21 months ago by gary
3.0 out of 5 stars
A mixed bag
First of all, the cover on this dvd has nothing to do with the story, so beware of that. However, bikers still may find something to enjoy, because that tends to be the focus of... Read more
Published 22 months ago by M. Price
4.0 out of 5 stars
Saw the premier, I liked it
I went to the showing and met the writer. I actually liked the movie and so did my fellow bikers. I found some humor in the movie and a good balance of action and a decent... Read more
Published 22 months ago by Karen J.
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