Born To Win: Transactional Analysis With Gestalt Experiments [Paperback]

Muriel James (Author), Dorothy Jongeward (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: August 30, 1996

Twenty-five years and four million readers show that Born to Win can change lives for the better. This bestselling classic uses the well-known psychological method called transactional analysis (TA) to uncover the roles we unconsciously act out day after day. Its fifty gestalt exercises have helped a generation realize how they communicate with others and think about themselves. If you want to have more control over your life, work more efficiently, and love others happily, Born to Win will help bring out the insight and confidence of a born winner.

Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Muriel James, Ed.D, is a psychotherapist and international workshop leader, a minister in the United Church of Christ, and past president of the International Transactional Analysis Association. Dorothy Jongeward, Ph.D., one of the first management consultants to focus on the interpersonal side of productivity, taught for many years on the extension faculty of the University of California, Berkeley.

Product Details

• Paperback: 320 pages
• Publisher: Da Capo Press; 25 Anv edition (August 30, 1996)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0201590441
• ISBN-13: 978-0201590449
• Product Dimensions: 8.2 x 5.5 x 0.9 inches
• Shipping Weight: 12.8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (28 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #36,601 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

87 of 89 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Classic self-help book still helps, September 4, 2000

By 

amf0001 (New York, NY United States) - See all my reviews
(TOP 1000 REVIEWER)    (VINE VOICE)   

This review is from: Born To Win: Transactional Analysis With Gestalt Experiments (Paperback)

There are a plethora of books in the self help section, and sometimes you don't know which ones are really helpful or not... This book is a classic. It was written in 1971, and unlike many texts of that time, it is still fresh, interesting and relevant. It's written in an easy, jargon free language, which has at its heart a depth and genuine empathic concern for people and their journies.

The techniques they apply are based on the transactional analysis model developed by Eric Berne, but don't worry, you don't have to know any thing about that - the book explains itself beautifully.

The main reason I love it is that it is filled with exercises that you can do by yourself, or share with a partner, about who you are and how you relate to things. It has excellent, simple exercises that open you up to examining childhood influnces, parental attitudes and current behaviour patterns in an illuminating, non-judgemental way.

If you are interested in learning a bit more about yourself, or if you have behaviour patterns that are troubling you and aren't sure where they come from, this is a great place to start.

I've given this book frequently as a gift (adolescents love it!) and I always get lovely feedback. I would definitely recommend this book ahead of a host of others that are out there.

33 of 34 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Theory on how to transform yourself into a WINNER., April 6, 2003

By 

Harinath Thummalapalli (Austin, TX United States) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Born To Win: Transactional Analysis With Gestalt Experiments (Paperback)

We all instinctively seem to categorize everyone we meet (including ourselves) as a Winner or a Loser. We may not necessarily share our opinions with others, but we still constantly judge everyone and everything. Judgement is necessary for us to make everyday decisions on situations we run into but there may NOT be a need to place a positive or negative value on the judgements. This seems to be the unexpressed basis behind the book's methods to help us achieve our potential of a Winner that we were born to be.

The authors in this book start by defining Winners and Losers and present the two tools available in the early seventies to change oneself into a Winner. These two tools are Gestalt Therapy and Transactional Analysis. Gestalt Therapy was introduced by Dr. Frederick Perls and focuses on making ourselves into a whole in order to be a Winner. Transactional Analysis was brought to us by Dr. Eric Berne and focuses on understanding our interactions with others and what drives these interactions. He also delves into how these interactions (transactions) can go haywire and lead to problems in relationships.

After introducing the ideas in the above paragraph in Chapter 1, the book goes into an overview of Transactional Analysis by modeling the different parts of our personalities into three ego states - Parent, Adult and Child. ...

This is of course a simplification of the theory and the book spends an incredible amount of time addressing how these three sides to our personalities can interact with these same three ego states in another individual and all the things that can go wrong along the way and how to fix them. The process of getting these three ego states to work together is where Gestalt Therapy comes in. There are numerous exercises to help one's transformation but I kind of felt shy when I was 19 to do this with anyone else. I felt like it was bad enough that I knew I needed help but I didn't want it to get worse by publishing to the world what my problems were. I don't feel this way anymore so I would recommend that everyone who plans on using this book decide for themselves the approach that works best for them...

This is a book to own for a lifetime and refer to once every few years to see how much one has succeeded in having a more integrated personality. When I recently read this book for a third time, I definitely felt that it was a lot easier to comprehend and use than I did the first two times. The best thing about the theory in this book is that it is very easy to understand and relate to....I hope that after reading this book, you too increase your self-confidence and self-esteem. Good luck in becoming more of a Winner!

27 of 29 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Manual for becoming an adult, December 8, 2005

By 

Carolyn Thornlow "Concinnity Services" (New York) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

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This review is from: Born To Win: Transactional Analysis With Gestalt Experiments (Paperback)

I have yet to give 5 stars to a book because, in my view, a 5 star book is one I would recommend to everyone. My holding back a star on this book is merely because it is presented in a "self-help" format. There's great stuff in this book, without a doubt. But some people -- perhaps the ones who may need to know about transactional analysis the most -- are not so open to exercises that are "touchy-feely."
My interest in transactional analysis (TA) is from an organization development point of view. For anyone who has ever worked in an organization, to say it can be dysfunctional is an understatement. Wouldn't it be nice if there was a roadmap that everyone can follow where all interactions could be pleasant and productive? Well, there is such a roadmap. TA is brilliant in presenting, somewhat simply, the different states from which we communicate (transact) and how some just don't work.
If you've ever tried to read the writings of Eric Berne, the originator of TA, it is very hard to follow. This is where Born To Win shines. It has done a beautiful job of distilling the essence and presenting it in the most comprehensive way. Reading this book will allow you to recognize the games people are playing, ones you're caught up in or maybe even those you've initiated.
The authors posit that losers manipulate others to live up to their expectations while winners assume responsibilty for their lives while fully respecting the uniqueness of others'. This book is a great manual for realizing the ultimate goal of TA -- to reach full autonomy by throwing off patterns not relevant to the here and now.