Customer Reviews

Botched

5 star:		(2)
4 star:		(5)
3 star:		(3)
2 star:		(3)
1 star:		(3)

 

 

The film begins with an almost Fargo-like series of mis-steps and mishaps that actually grab your interest. Unfortunately, that's as good as it gets. The joke, if you get it, begins with a Mr. Grozny (a fish-out-of-water Sean Pertwee...wouldn't Dr. Who just turn in his grave?) inviting the idiot who blew his last job to steal some "family heirlooms" in the penthouse suite of some Moscow high-rise. What they showed could well have been the former Lubyanka.
Recruiting the aid of a couple of Russian morons, probably too closely related, the theft goes from bad to worse, as does the film. Stupidity abounds with the cast slowly being slaughtered by some whirling dervish and so on.
Comedy and horror really don't mix too well and you have to be careful about your mix. Severance got it absolutely right and The Cottage comes in a close second. Here, it's like oil and water, one or the other.
This wretched experience brings the Keystone Kops to a new level of sophistication.
For what it's worth, "grozny" (pronounced "grozh-nyee") means "terrible." As in "Ivan the Terrible."

After a diamond heist gone wrong, Ritchie (Stephen Dorff) must make amends with his Russian mafia connections on another job. Inside a luxurious penthouse the caper goes awry. Teamed with the Russian version of Laurel and Hardy, Ritchie and the group is trapped on an undeveloped floor with a psycho who is equally involved in LARPing, ballet, and murder.

The most unfortunate aspect of Botched is the title describes the execution. It's a poor attempt at the horror/comedy blend where the horror isn't scary and the comedy isn't funny. Throw in disco lights and a few Scooby Doo chase scenes to make it worse. I'd be remiss if I didn't mention an atrocious, tone-def, misfiring score. It's Addam's Family, carnival, Italian restaurant, Benny Hill, and Tetris theme song all rolled into one. Worst score in movie history.

For whatever reason the movie is set in Russia, where all of the actors aside from the perpetually dramatic Dorff butcher Russian accents filled with inaccuracies and inconsistencies. Speaking of butchering, look for the Ed Gein inspired wallpaper midway through the film; it's the fraction that's even remotely creepy. As for funny, there's a cheap fart scene. If you're considering watching this travesty, I'd recommend treating it like gas: pass it.

Jason Elin

What attracted me to this movie was the blurb on the cover telling me that if I liked Shaun of the Dead I'd blah, blah, blah, Botched. I have no idea where the comparison between the two movies comes from other than there was blood in both movies and both movies were funny.

Botched is the story of Ritchie, a two-bit thief who gets sent to Russia to retrieve an artifact from a penthouse suite to pay to pay off the debt he owes to a local L.A. Russian crime boss. Sounds simple enough, but in Botched, what can go wrong, does go wrong, and everything leads to (almost) hilarity which explains the title.

There's not a lot of plot here beyond what I mentioned above. Ritchie gets paired with a hapless local duo and after successfully retrieving the artifact, he and his partners, and an assorted group of office workers making their way down to the lobby, get stuck on the building's 13th floor. Slowly the realization of their situation dawns on Ritchie and the rest of the movie involves him trying to, I guess un-botch, his, and the office worker's sticky situation.

The movie is bloody and not without humor and I was entertained for 94 minutes which is pretty much all I could ask for. With the exception of Stephen Dorff it looks as if the rest of the cast are all from the UK so I don't know why they set the story in Russia and made everyone speak with Russian accents? Maybe it was some kind of acting school assignment?

I'd recommend Botched to anyone with a warning for (campy) violence.

It seems there has been a lot of bad reviews about this film. I think most of the reviewers here wanted a classic, instead got a lemon instead. I never heard of it, until I bought it for $3.00 at Big Lots on a whim. And it was worth it. This film is funny as hell and just as over the top. Sure, this film is B-movie level, but it is fun to watch. I have been watching horror films for 30 years, and I've seen many bad movies... and "Botched" is not that bad. Somewhat cheesy, but still worth a view and a few chuckles... Check it out, you won't regret it!

This movie starts out really well, I was excited, interested and engaged... then it sank into a quagmire of trying too hard to be funny. The opening felt like your typical mob/crime film then we get to the horror/comedy part and everything went so way over the top that it felt like a student film.

The premise, a couple of thieves steal a golden cross at the request of their crime boss, then during their getaway get stuck in the building with a serial killer, some crazies, a loony security guard, and an assortment of whiny bad guy fodder. True some of the gore was GREAT, I wasn't thrilled with one of the decapitation scenes, but the rest of the gore was spot on. The problem was that the premise got old quickly and the movie starts becoming reminiscent of that old 80's film "Clue" with Tim Currey. Now I loved "Clue" but it also didn't contain a random man dressed up like a barbarian, wielding a sword through the hallways of a high rise.

I have heard this movie compared to "Fido" "Black Sheep" and the like, but sadly I feel that this movie attempted to go there, but never made it. Rather than funny, it was silly, and failed on all attempts by the time you get to the end.

Now I suppose if you are REALLY drunk, this movie might be funny. Other than that go for something else.

Allow me to be frank - this is a terrible film. The most interesting aspect in viewing this stinker is observing how consistently the film degrades from 'full of promise' in the first 15 minutes to bad and then absolutely dreadful by the time the end credits roll. As a further insult to injury (or perhaps a blessing in disguise?) this disc contains ZERO extras - not even a cheezy 10 minute making-of featurette.

I like to think of myself as a fair appraiser of movies. I try to take movies as they are when giving to, or taking from, their merit, and not what I think they should have been. In all fairness, you can't judge a movie like The Shawshank Redemption on its comedic intent rather than dramatic effect anymore than you can judge Thomas The Tank Engine based on how many dismemberments and T&A shots there were. It's not fair to the film.

However, upon watching Stephen Dorff's Botched, I think I am being fair when I say that this was a horrible script surrounded by a great cast and intense execution. What does that really mean? I'm not too sure, but I'll sure as hell try to explain it.

Botched, directed by newcomer Kit Ryan and written by Derek Boyle, Eamon Friel, and Raymond Friel, introduces us to Ritchie Donovan, a professional thief with a streak of bad luck(played by Stephen Dorff of SFW and Blade fame). Our first contact with Ritchie displays a twice-bumbled jewel heist, of which Ritchie's employer, probable Russian mob boss Mr. Groznyi, is quite unhappy with. To redeem himself, Ritchie is given one last job, to steal a cross from a family living on the penthouse floor of a building in Moscow. With the help of brothers Peter and Yuri, the job goes bad, and the three felons are caught on the 13th floor(inferred) of the building with a group of apparently innocent bystanders, a security guard, and some Dungeons & Dragons fanatic with a real sword.

Hilarity ensues. Or at least is supposed to.

I will be fair: this film never asks to be taken seriously. There are a few memorable scenes that make sure we remember this, one which includes the use of disco lights and music, another at the end that almost makes the whole movie worthwhile. Geoff Bell, Jamie Foreman, and Hugh O'Conor all put on excellent comedic performances when they are needed, even if it is to smooth the edges of Stephen Dorff, who has a knack for turning anything remotely funny into melancholy drama. Not that that's always a bad thing, but in this movie, it doesn't work all that well. This movie has no serious intent, Stephen, so there is no need to try to make this an Oscar-worthy performance.

The problem with this movie is incoherence mixed with NOT ENOUGH FUNNY. Incoherent is only as funny as the running gag jokes that give the movie its script. Of course, sometimes too much funny incoherence can be bad(see Scary Movie 2-4, Superhero Movie, Meet The Spartans, Disaster Movie for references). Botched doesn't give us enough funny, and with a feeble script limping along, it just doesn't make the cut. Sure, there's some nice, gruesome gore in the film, but even those moments of horror are few and far between, which makes it a tough sell when going up against movies like Frontier(s) and Otis

A thief named Ritchie (Stephen Dorff) must rob an exclusive, high-rise penthouse in order to pay back a debt. Unfortunately, two things have gone horribly wrong. Thing #1- Ritchie's two accomplices are absolute imbeciles. Thing #2- They wind up being trapped on a secret floor of the building, hunted by a decapitating, disemboweling maniac! BOTCHED is an intentionally goofy splatter epic in the vein of DEAD ALIVE, SEAN OF THE DEAD, OTIS, etc. w/ plenty of laughs and sloshing intestines. So, if you prefer your humor wet, this one should quench that thirst... P.S.- Watch for Sean Pertwee (Dog Soldiers) in a small role as a crimelord...

Yes I'm going to be the square peg in the round hole.Stephen Dorf was tolerable but the rest...STINKO!Its bloody but stupid.How dare they put this in the same ball field as Shaun Of The Dead.At least Shaun was funny this....not!I like what the other writer said about being drunk to find this amuzing....You'll have 2 hangovers while engaging this rubbish.....MENTAL!

Botched isn't your conventional slasher flick. You can tell the cast all had a great time while filming. Campy and quirky nothing is as it seems. Botched will have you grossed out one moment but in stitches the next. This film is definitely a good time to be had by all(horror buffs). Grab the popcorn, plant yourself in front of your television and get ready to be wildly entertained!