Customer Reviews

Bound to be Free: The SM Experience

5 star:		(3)
4 star:		(5)
3 star:		(1)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(0)

 

 

"Bound To Be Free" is an interesting mix of the professional and the personal. The first three chapters, written by noted sexologist Charles Moser, M.D., PhD, are a good overview of what is known in a scientific way about SM. (Actually, not much although the observation that about one person in ten is interested in SM is interesting.) The rest of the book is written by SM practitioner JJ Madeson.

The book contains good information about the multi-faceted nature and definition of SM, and a good essay on the nature of consent. There are also numerous and somewhat lengthy descriptions of SM play. In fact, there are so many that the book reads like soft porn in some areas. The book also contains numerous, lengthy excerpts from other SM books and even anti-SM books such as "Against Sadomasochism". In fact so much of the book is made up of excerpts from other books that this book almost started reading like a term paper. The book also contains commentary from various members of the SM Community.

The book covers that basics of SM play and techniques, including such matters as safe words, limits, and confidentiality, but reads somewhat flat in areas. However it does contain a long and good essay on why someone would enjoy pain.

The book also contains information on how to contact the SM community such as the Eulenspeigel society in New York City and the Janus Society in San Francisco. It could have used more internet resources though.

Other good books in this field include "Consensual Sadomasochism", "The Sexually Dominant Woman", "Screw the Roses Send Me The Thorns" and "SM 101".

I first learned of this book when I was at a Barnes and Noble Booksellers browsing through the small collection of sex books and trying to hide myself inconspicuously from the passers-by. When I found this book, I sat down, started reading at a random page and didn't stop for another three chapters.

That's how well this book is written.

That said, the most important thing you need to know is that the book is co-authored by a sexologist (technically a psychologist, actually), and a long-time SM practitioner. The first part of the book is filled with history, reports of research studies, and other relatively dry medical information that some readers may find boring but which give the rest of the book deserved license to speak with its voice of wisdom and experience. (Then again, if you're reading this book in the first place, you probably want to learn all you can about S&M anyway. I did, so the academia lesson was much appreciated.) This first part was written mainly by the Docto. His efforts to be objective and accurate come through in his writing very successfully.

After this, the book is turned over to JJ Madeson, who spends some time speaking about herself before she ventures into discussions of others. This not only gives you an immediate sense of being able to relate to the writing but also gives you an incredibly personal sense of who S&M players really are.

The book is general, covering the more basic parts of the "who," "what," "where," "why" and "when" questions than any specific information on the "how." Throughout each section, interspersed within the text, are short quotes, stories, and experiences related by fellow S&M practitioners -- both those in the public scene and those who play with a boyfriend, a wife, or a play partner, etc, in private.

Above all else, this book gives you a real sense of what S&M is at its physical and emotional core, what it can do for you and to you, and can help give you a little nudge in whatever direction you seek to go. It is full of encouragement, reassurance, and care.

I highly recommend this book to anybody who is interested in learning more about the S&M experience, whether or not they are "into it" themselves. In addition, it may provide a wonderful way to introduce a vanilla ("not-kinky") friend or loved one to your once-secret desires. Newbies will find this book exciting, though may be disappointed to learn of its lack of practical information apart from basic safety information. (You should pick up a book like Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns soon after this one and before you begin to play.)

I came away from reading this book with a sense of gratitude for the authors, excitement about my possibilities, and eager to learn more. I bet you will too.

Frankly, this is a book that every serious student of human nature needs to read. Most of what is "out there" is either from academicians who make the topic so dry that it is no fun to read, or from practitioners who are so involved that they either lose or scare us. Moser, the scientist and Madison, the practitioner, have combined to produce a book that is both fun and educational. The book lets us know just what it is that S&Mers do, why they do it and how they do it. Safety issues are emphasized. Finally we learn how S&M can be a very loving, alternative, life-style.

This book is a both a clinical investigation of BDSM and an insider's view of how BDSM functions and serves those who engage in the practices. There are not "how-to" sections nor fiction in this book but observations of reallife BDSM that are attempted to be turned into "rules" about the subculture. Be careful, you are as likely to agree as to disagree with some of the conclusions reached but it will get you thinking. It is not, however, the best book to use if you are trying to introduce your partner to the scene -- it best serves those interested in a more clinical study of BDSM.

Bound to be Free is an excellent source of information for those who are curious about the BDSM lifestyle. Written by Charles Moser, Ph.D, M.D. and JJ Madesen, a BDSM practitioner, this book combines clinical insights with practical experiences. A number of sources are quoted from, including "Urban Aboriginals," "Different Loving," "Screw The Roses, Send Me the Thorns," and even, in one instance, "Dear Abby." Demystifying and understanding, this is the book I'd buy my Mom if she found out about my lifestyle.

The book, "Bound to Be Free" by Moser and Madeson is, quite simply, the best book I've ever read about the world of S&M.
Coauthored by a sexologist and an SM practitioner, it is scientifically sound and authoritative. We learn what SMers do, how they do it, and most importantly, why they do it.
How a major sexual lifestyle that has flourished throughout human history has remained hidden and been so misunderstood is a real mystery.
This book goes a long way to demystify what, in responsible hands, is a loving and exciting sexual life-choice.
This book would be terrific for those interested in S&M for themselves, for students interested in learning about SM, for social scientists wanting to understand SM, and for parents and friends who need to understand why their loved one is doing SM.

This collaboration between a scholar and a member of the "BDSM" community creates an interesting approach to research in the area of "BDSM" in today's Amercian society. The greatest disappointment of the book is the tendacy to generalize to the point of forgeting that each person into "BDSM" is unique with his/her own reasons for doing "BDSM" and for enjoying it. The desires to engage in this lifestyle or these activities thus becomes too academic and too simiplistic in this book.

I agree with the other reviewers here that this book can be a bit clinical, but I believe the historical context provided in the first few sections of the book is necessary in order to understand how and why SM remains such a fear-raising subject even today.

What I found most enjoyable about this book were the excerpts and quotes from people within the lifestyle. It IS important, when dealing with something that remains so far removed from and misunderstood by the mainstream, to know that one is not alone.

I would highly recommend this book to anyone considering an exploration of SM with their partner. I would also recommend it to anyone who is simply curious about the lifestyle. The authors effectively address many myths about the lifestyle, revealing it for what it can be...a deeply loving, liberating, emotionally enriching and intensely spiritual experience.

This book will affirm all your feelings and fantasies. Thoughtful and well spoken on the BDSM community covers a vast wealth of lifestyle related areas.