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Boundaries in Marriage Paperback – August 12, 2002
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Thats why boundariesthe ways we define and maintain our sense of individuality, freedom, and personal integrityare so important. And its why the principles described in Boundaries in Marriage are essential if you want your marriage to flourish.
Counselors and best-selling authors Henry Cloud and John Townsend, authors of the Gold Medallion Award-winning book, Boundaries, show how you and your mate can experience marriage at its best. Youll learn how to deal with serious violations and betrayals and develop a haven of mutual love, care, appreciation, and growth. Boundaries in Marriage will show you: ? Why boundaries and the Ten Laws of Boundaries are vital for a thriving, productive marriage ? How values form the structure and architecture of marriage ? How to protect a marriage from intruders, whether parents, other people, affairs, or personal idols ? Why each partner needs to establish personal boundaries, and how to go about it ? How to work with a spouse who understands and values boundariesand how to work with one who doesnt
Whether you are just starting out as a couple, have been married for years, or are seriously contemplating marriage, Boundaries in Marriage will show you how to establish your own boundaries and respect those of your partner. Drawing on principles from the Bible, it can help you safeguard against relational fractures and mend existing cracks. It may even save your marriage. And it can help make even the best marriage better -- Publisher --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.
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Top Customer Reviews
Whether or not you are a believer in Christ, this book can still be incredibly helpful if you're willing to read it with an open mind. It may even be helpful if you have a closed mind and you don't even want it to be helpful. ;) The strength in it is that it is not a "How To" book. The authors realized that lists of surface actions to change don't change the heart. They focus on pointing out principles and revealing truth. They give plenty of examples and paint pictures of how certain actions make others feel. This helps you see beyond yourself, thus allowing you to interact with your spouse with greater grace and mercy. The changes in your actions are the result rather than the solution.
Another thing I really like about this book is that it explains what submission and sacrifice in marriage really look like in the Bible and not in what the world believes that to look like. It explains that submission is always to be done in love and with the perspective of EVERYTHING that God has taught us through His Word. This means that submission and sacrifice do not mean giving up all your desires and doing everything your spouse tells you to do; it means upholding your responsibility to love your spouse no matter what (ie. loving them enough to help support the end of unhealthy behaviors and actions).Read more ›
I won't get too specific, but to give you an idea of how irrational he gets when angry, he has threatened to leave our 3 year-old son at home while we go out because he didn't finish his dinner (don't worry, I was sane enough not to allow that!). He makes up the strangest punishments for our kids that just sound vengeful to me, childish, even, like something you would do to your kid-brother when you're 10, not something you would dish out to your child as their father. He yells at me when the house isn't perfectly clean, so I clean till it's shining, and he still yells! It makes no difference. He just overreacts when he's stressed out, regardless of how perfect I am or how hard I try to please him.
My husband is also very tender and sensitive to others' feelings.Read more ›
That said, it's a very very good book. I have no problem looking past the religious rhetoric and focusing instead at the heart of the message. This is very worthwhile reading for anyone. I have included some of my notes from this book so that you might get a feel for it, I highly recommend it (the only reason I gave it 4 stars was the fact that you have to look past so much dogma and rhetoric in order to see the beautiful underlying message).
When two people are free to disagree, they are free to love. When they are not free to disagree, they live in fear and their love dies.
Learning to be truthful and learning to receive the truth is part of the maturing process as an adult. It is the essence of intimacy in a relationship. Lacking this, we become slaves to one another's coercion and withholding of approval. Where there is no freedom to say no, there is slavery.
A relationship must create freedom in order to survive- to the degree it creates freedom for both parties- to that degree it will continue to grow and thrive. Vice versa, to the degree a relationship enslaves and imposes, to that degree it is doomed as tool of destruction as opposing the joy and happiness of the partners in the relationship.
Boundaries setting as a means of protecting each partner's freedom is a formula for success. Boundary setting as a means of restricting and censorship is a formula for slavery and dominance. Therefore, the key in learning proper boundaries lies in this: Boundaries can properly be defended, but they can never be asserted.Read more ›
Most Recent Customer Reviews
Great book and Author. Another book to help a good marriage be even better.Published 5 days ago by ADC
I've read several marriage books and identified most with this one. Lots of "that's me!" moments. Read morePublished 9 days ago by Amazon Customer
I loved this book! I listened to it on Audible while I work cleaning houses. It was easy to follow and I had lots of AHA moments. Read morePublished 20 days ago by Ava'sMomma
This is an awesome book for every couple. I have learnt so much that has helped my marriage.I recommend for every couple especially newly married couple so that they can start... Read morePublished 21 days ago by chiadikaobi emeka-inegbu