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Boundaries and Relationships: Knowing, Protecting and Enjoying the Self Paperback


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Boundaries and Relationships: Knowing, Protecting and Enjoying the Self + Healing The Child Within:  Discovery and Recovery for Adult Children of Dysfunctional Families + A Gift to Myself: A Personal Workbook and Guide to "Healing the Child Within"
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Product Details

  • Paperback: 288 pages
  • Publisher: HCI; 1 edition (April 1, 1994)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 155874259X
  • ISBN-13: 978-1558742598
  • Product Dimensions: 9 x 6 x 0.7 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 13.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.2 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (40 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #55,591 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Charles L. Whitfield, M.D., is a psychotherapist in private practice in Atlanta. He is a nationally known speaker and a bestselling author.

More About the Author

Charles L. Whitfield, M.D., is a physician, psychotherapist, author and internationally recognized expert on mental illness, behavioral problems, and recovery from addiction and trauma. He was on the faculty of the Rutgers University Summer Institute of Alcohol and Drug Studies from 1978 through 2003, and in private practice of addiction medicine and psychotherapy since 1976. He has also been a consultant and collaborator at the CDC in Atlanta since 1998. He has been voted by his peers as one of the Best Doctors in America every year since 1993. He lives in Atlanta, GA, and is in private practice with his wife, author and therapist, Barbara Harris Whitfield.

For the most up-to-date information about Dr. Whitfield and his work, please visit:
Barbara-Whitfield.Blogspot.com

Customer Reviews

Very easy to read and quite thorough, too.
William H. Bonnie
This book was very helpful in helping me recognize how I had let other people abuse my borders and what I could do about it.
Catherine K. Howard
Book provides detailed explanations of how to provide boundaries for yourself.
Laura E. Pearson

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

60 of 61 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on June 3, 1998
Format: Paperback
This to me is one of the best books ever written on boundaries and relationships. Talks of the structure of a person's boundaries, ways to know where your boundaries are, the necessity of having boundaries within your relationships. Written with sensitivity and love. Anything further that I could say about this book would fall short of its quality. I consider this a must read for anyone from any kind of dysfunctional background, especially those struggling with boundary issues.
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147 of 164 people found the following review helpful By G. Jordan on January 30, 2001
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
I had expected from this book on setting Bondaries in relationships, at least an example of exactly how one does that. Not once does the author give step by step examples or instructions on how to set a boundary. I believe in the entire 234 pages (before I got to the appendix on using psychic abilities??? No idea why that's in there!) he only used 3 ambiguous case stories which rarely proved a point or educated.
The most annoying intrusion into my book-buyer's boundary of not being advertised & spammed to in a book I've paid for, was on almost everyone of those 234 pages, he plugs ALL of his other books. Instead of explaining his point he would say "refer to chapter whatever of his other book(s) #1-#5). In one chapter he actually used a big topic heading only to write below, for this topic see such & such of my other books! So he expects me to buy ALL of his books in order to read THIS book.
He also repeats himself over & over, which seems like he is trying to fill blank space just to meet a quota since none of the repititions were needed to prove a point & instead felt intrusive & unnecessary to the point of irritation. As one other reviewer said already, he also hasn't decided who his audience is & tries to write to both at once, failing to reach anyone by alienating the reader.
I gave this book a 3 because the ideas the author expressed were useful & mostly on target and applicable. His theories deserve attention & expansion, and this book will at least be helpful in illuminating the need for healthy boundaries.
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44 of 47 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on February 3, 2001
Format: Paperback
The issue of boundaries, whether in a therapeutic setting or interpersonal, this book will be helpful in going from dysfunctional states to holding and containing your core SELF boundaries thereby experiencing life in a manner that is enjoyable...JOY! Written with examples from Family situations - also relationship situations (boyfriend/girlfriend,etc.)- this book is practical in its approach but teaches from a technical point of view that is based on sound academics. It even has a section written by a massage therapist which is very nice in that is describes how ultra-sensitive people can really experience loose boundaries in the psychic/mental realm and how this can affect you. I'm rereading this book for the 5th time. It always seems that I get new depths of understanding each time I find a passage to read for the day at hand. It's for true recovery work. I share this book with lots of folks and they all benefit from it. This book had helped me heal!Really! Move forward and evolve my inner self. And isn't that the goal of any therapy.
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35 of 39 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on February 17, 1999
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
The material presented by Whitfield is really good. I'm sure it will help many people. Unfortunately, he doesn't seem to be able to decide whether he's writing to an academic audience or to people seeking self-help.
If this book was re-written as a self help guidebook or an academic textbook, it would be much better. Right now, it seems like it doesn't serve either audience particularly well.
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17 of 17 people found the following review helpful By Mommaw on December 28, 2009
Format: Paperback
A very transforming wealth of information. This book gave me so much insight into the behavior of others and what makes them compatible or not. Understanding the way healthy and good relationships work gives you so much insight into those that are not. We have experienced so much "triangling" in relationships over the past nine years that we now have the ability to put these unhealthy and caustic relationships to rest and not be concerned about why they did not work any longer. The "triangling" concept shared in the book was new information, extremely enlightening as to why some relationships will never work. "Too many" people involved. The "triangling" often involves lies, accusations and malicious gossip, enlisting others to join in on their vendetta to hurt and inflict pain because of the imaginary thoughts the unsafe people share with so many. "TRIANGLING" is unhealthy for all involved. It involves talking about someone who is not there, it's also gossip or an act of creating prejudice against the missing person. Some people never change and will always remain uncompatible to you because they are not safe or supportive and never will be. The book goes into detail about why this occurs and is excellent and easy to comprehend and understand. I am sharing a few of my favoite life changing revelations for the book...

Page 102, 103
Relationships....SAFE....We should be able to trust them to be real with us and to have most fo the characteristics of safe people, safe people tend to listen to you and hear you. They accept the real you abd validate your experiences and other material that you may tell them about your nnner life. They are clear and honest with you and nonjudgemental of you. Their boundaries are also appropriate and clear.
Read more ›
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