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Boundaries: When to Say YES, When to Say NO, To Take Control of Your Life Hardcover – October 20, 1992
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"Moving Mountains" by John Eldredge
Praying with Passion, Confidence, and Authority | Check out "Moving Mountains".
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Top Customer Reviews
The answer was in "Boundaries". As I read the book, I could identify with something in every chapter. I'm the type of person who will let everyone else step all over me to keep themselves happy. As long as I didn't raise a ruckus, and the peace was kept, everything was okay, right? WRONG! Inside I was always seething with anger, and I was livid with the fact that I had to continually step out of the way for everyone else while they ran right over me.
Through reading this book, I realized that it's OK to set boundaries in all interactions; in fact, I now believe that it would be wrong NOT to set boundaries in things. Slowly but surely, with the help from this book's message, I've been setting boundaries for a happier life that's filled with more peace, joy, and abundance than ever.
-you're not turned off by a Christian writing approach
-you feel like there's a problem because you're trying to be a good person all the time by always saying "yes"
In a nutshell, this book is for people who don't know how to set boundaries for themselves. In other words, they're always saying "yes" to things and taking responsibility for things- even when it's not their job.
And boundary lines of your responsibilities need to be present in more areas of your life than you might realize, such as...
The book covers boundary conflicts in each of these areas leaving no stone unturned. Therefore, its no big deal if you have only one or two problem areas- just go to those sections.
This book will help you realize what a boundary is, why it's okay to have them and just how to develop them. So if anything in this review sounds like if might apply to you- don't hesitate to check out the book. Other neat self-help books I liked include "Finding Happiness in a Frustrating World".
Anyway, I grew up to be a controlling, abusive tyrant, just like my Dad was if not worse. This persisted until 2008 when the beautiful, adoring woman I married got tired of my treatment of her and left me. I would never have woken up, let alone **grown** up if she hadn't done this. With a lot of time and work from my side we got back together again and the type of "man" I used to be really disgusts me. With time and effort I have been able to put together healthy boundaries of behaviour I will and will not accept from others, and from myself.
The point is my wife took a stand, just as this book says to. And it worked. On me that is.
If you are an abused spouse take a radical stand. The more radical the better. Do exactly what this book tells you to do.
I have given the book four stars because I am an atheist (sorry to any religious folks, I just cannot believe any of it, even if I wanted to) and my "God filter" had to be on at all times. Still, it doesn't matter what source the help comes from and I wish I had come across this book five years ago. My two little kids will learn healthy boundaries as well so they don't grow up to be the basket case I was.
On reading several negative comments about the book, I notice the persons complain of things that are actually not promoted in the book - there is a balance that is actually promoted, that boundaries are not an excuse to say "No", as irresponsibility is warned as another extreme of boundaries and goes against biblical principles. Some persons complained that people didn't seem to like them after they established boundaries, "Bonding first, boundaries second". Like any concept it could be taken to an extreme. I should warn that without a strong biblical background or the support of a group these concepts could easily be misapplied and used as weapons (boundaries are not weapons) instead of defenses to protect who we are.
The risk of misapplication of the concepts does not negate the fatc that this book is biblically sound, and promotes healthy relational concepts -- if applied correctly.
Most Recent Customer Reviews
I'm 65 and wish I had read this 40 years ago. Would have helped me throughout life.Published 7 hours ago by young at heart
Amazing. I like that this self-help focuses on what you CAN do and helps you learn what you CAN'T control and helps you learn how to COPE with it. Read morePublished 1 day ago by Amazon Customer
Incredible book! LIFE-CHANGING!!! I have been recommending this book to everyone I know. It contains truths about the root of many of our problems we face in relationships with... Read morePublished 4 days ago by Kaleb Carlin
Excellent. This book has helped me a lot. It frequently includes Bible verses to support the material but the book is not preachy at all. I would recommend to anyone.Published 4 days ago by Caty Mock
A really great book to have your 'yes' be 'yes' and not because you feel obligated or guilted into it. Read morePublished 4 days ago by Michelle J Lee
It was a good book. Some of the religious quotes are of one's own interpretation, but establishing the actual boundaries are right on point.Published 4 days ago by Meghan Stiles
This book was like a having a life preserver thrown to me while I was drowning out in the sea!! I always felt like I needed to be the caretaker to everyone and never said no to... Read morePublished 5 days ago by Kelly Kleine