Boy Meets Girl: Say Hello to Courtship [Paperback]

Joshua Harris (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: September 28, 2000

Purpose Driven Romance

The last thing singles want is more rules. But if you’re looking for an intentional, God-pleasing game plan for finding a future spouse, Joshua Harris delivers an appealing one. A compelling new foreword, an all-new “8 Great Courtship Conversations” section, and updated material throughout makes this five-year revision of the original Boy Meets Girl a must-have! Harris illustrates how biblical courtship—a healthy, joyous alternative to recreational dating—worked for him and his wife. Boy Meets Girl presents an inspiring, practical example for readers wanting to pursue the possibility of marriage with someone they may be serious about.

Are you ready for “romance with purpose”?

If you’re fed up with self-centered relationships that end in disillusionment, it’s time to rethink romance. Finding the loving, committed relationship you want shouldn’t mean throwing away your hopes, your integrity, or your heart.

In Boy Meets Girl, Joshua Harris —the guy who kissed dating goodbye—makes the case for courtship. As old-fashioned as it might sound, courtship is what modern day relationships desperately need. Think of it as romance chaperoned by wisdom, cared for by community, and directed by God’s Word.

Filled with inspiring stories from men and women who have rediscovered courtship, Boy Meets Girl is honest, romantic, and refreshingly biblical. Keep God at the center of your relationship as you discover how to: Set a clear course for your romance Get closer without compromise Find support in a caring community Deal with past sexual sin Make the right decisions about your future

[Pull out section or starburst]:

New! Courtship Conversations

Eight ideas for great dates that will help grow and guide your relationship.

Story Behind the Book

“I wrote I Kissed Dating Goodbye to challenge singles to drop the worldly approach to serial dating and reconsider the way they pursued romance in light of God’s Word. Since then, I’ve received letters asking questions like, So, what comes between friendship and marriage? and, How can you know when you are ready for marriage? Boy Meets Girl answers those questions. Now as a happily married man I can look back on my courtship with Shannon and see from personal experience that God is faithful. If you trust Him enough to wait on romance in dating, He will lovingly guide you as you pursue it in courtship…right to that wonderful moment when you kneel together at the altar.” — Joshua Harris

Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review

Joshua Harris follows up his bestselling I Kissed Dating Goodbye with Boy Meets Girl, the story of how he met and married his wife, Shannon. Where Harris's first book encouraged readers to throw off modern ideas of romantic fixation, Boy Meets Girl goes to the next level and urges single Christian men and women to pursue courtship, and ultimately marriage, thoughtfully and prayerfully. Knowing that many readers will balk at the idea of premeditated courtship, Harris insists that dating should not be emotional recreation but rather a careful decision rooted in obedience to God. While the anecdotes used to reveal true-to-life scenarios about dating pitfalls are somewhat elementary (and geared to those in their 20s), Harris succeeds in hammering home the point that obedience to God's word, selfless love, community, purity, and satisfaction in God are the most important aspect of any relationship. The last section of the book is particularly practical, discussing forgiveness of past sexual sin, questions to ask before tying the knot, and how an understanding of our sinful nature can lead to conflict resolution. For Harris's mere twentysomething years of life experience, his maturity and devotion to God are sincere evidence that he has indeed practiced what he has preached, resulting in a passionate relationship with the love of his life. --Jill Heatherly

From Publishers Weekly

In 1997, Harris's I Kissed Dating Goodbye became a phenomenon both in the publishing world and the Christian singles scene. Dating, Harris suggested, was an ungodly and unbiblical activity that Christians should reject in favor of a more old-fashioned, marriage-driven courtship. In this follow-up book, Harris guides Christians who are eager to say "I do" through the maze of finding a mate. His practical tips are set against the autobiographical backdrop of his own successful courtship with Shannon, now his wife of two years. Harris's words of wisdom aren't terribly innovative; they are the bread and butter of Christian relationship books claiming that good communication, sexual abstinence, friendship and fellowship are at least as important as romance. But lack of originality is the least of this book's problems. Harris's self-conscious attempts to be cute quickly grow tiresome (the Courtship Cop who "pulls over" a couple thinking about marriage too early in their relationship is only the most glaring example). Also, many readers who would otherwise find Harris's message compelling may be put off by the strict "God-given" gender roles he lauds in chapter 6: a man should initiate everything in a relationship, while "ladies" are supposed to "make room for him to lead." This slim sequel will no doubt delight Harris's thousands of devoted fans, but its banalities won't win any new devotees. (Oct.)
Copyright 2000 Reed Business Information, Inc.

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Product Details

• Paperback: 240 pages
• Publisher: Multnomah Books; First Edition, First Printing edition (September 28, 2000)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1576737098
• ISBN-13: 978-1576737682
• Product Dimensions: 8.2 x 5.2 x 0.7 inches
• Shipping Weight: 8.8 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 4.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (210 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #171,110 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Since writing his breakout book, I Kissed Dating Goodbye, at the age of twenty-one, Joshua Harris has enjoyed tremendous publishing success, with total book sales exceeding 1.5 million copies. His later books, including Boy Meets Girl and Stop Dating the Church firmly established him as a trustworthy voice to his generation. Harris is senior pastor of Covenant Life in Gaithersburg, Maryland. He and his wife, Shannon, have three children.

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

116 of 128 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Better than "I Kissed Dating Goodbye"., November 3, 2001

By 

tvtv3 "tvtv3" (Sorento, IL United States) - See all my reviews
(TOP 500 REVIEWER)    (VINE VOICE)   

This review is from: Boy Meets Girl: Say Hello to Courtship (Paperback)

Joshua Harris has grown in both wisdom and maturity between the time I KISSED DATING GOODBYE was published and BOY MEETS GIRL was published. The first book had some valid points; you should be friends with someone before you date them, you should only date someone you might want to eventually marry, etc. However, much of the book provides very little insight for people who have always dated (or courted) from a Biblical perspective. I didn't enjoy reading IKDG very much and got very little out of it. It seemed to me that the underlying message of the book was that if you "date" and don't "court" your wrong.However, BOY MEETS GIRL is different. Realizing the mistakes of his first book, Harris has written something more useful and practical. To begin with, Harris no longer makes a distinction between "dating" and "courting" as he did in IKDG. Secondly, Harris emphasizes that there is no set pattern, guidelines, or rules to follow to meet and date/court your future mate; God never does something the same way twice. Finally, and probably most importantly, Harris more clearly illustrates than he did in IKDG that as people we cannot look to another person to complete us. Husbands and wives can only complement each other, they can't complete each other, only Jesus can do that. The book also has a lot of useful hints and a few of the stories are quite amazing. A much better book than I KISSED DATING GOODBYE.

53 of 57 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A biblical followup to a runaway best seller, October 6, 2000

By 

Carla Jean Whitley (Sweet Home Alabama) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Boy Meets Girl: Say Hello to Courtship (Paperback)

It should come as no surprise to those who have read Joshua Harris' first book, I Kissed Dating Goodbye, that Boy Meets Girl would be filled with sound, biblical advice and stories that can relate to life. Joshua Harris has once again delivered a book on a topic sorely needed by the Christian singles of this world. As an 18 year old who had been a Christian for two months, I purchased IKDG, unsure of where it would lead me. I knew my way of doing things was about to be challenged, but I didn't realize just how much. As I dove into the book, I was convicted in so many ways. God used this to really shape me and my understanding of how He wants me to be in relation to this important area of my life. As someone who has read MANY of these Christian relationship books, I can tell you that there are some good ones out there, but IKDG definitely had the biggest impact on me. However, as I continued to pray over the biblical truths that Harris focused on and how they pertained to my individual life, I (along with thousands others) had to wonder one thing - What about when I *do* find someone who I'd like to pursue a relationship with? Then what? The answer has arrived. Joshua Harris uses Boy Meets Girl to express how God has shown him that it is the state of our heart that matters most, and not legalistic boundaries. Though the book just arrived in my mailbox yesterday, I have torn right through it and been pouring over the scripture referenced that addresses so many pertinent issues. If you loved IKDG, get ready for Boy Meets Girl. Harris has so beautifully expressed the way that God has worked in his life and heart, and this manifestation is definitely something that our generation can use.

66 of 73 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Good ideas, but mixed feelings., January 5, 2001

By 

Cade Foster - See all my reviews

This review is from: Boy Meets Girl: Say Hello to Courtship (Paperback)

Mr. Harris is obviously a sincere Christian and a gifted writer. What impresses me the most about this book is his willingness to acknowledge that yes, people make mistakes, that no mistake is irredeemable in the eyes of God, and that life and the Lord often throws us curves we do not expect. In this respect, he's a welcome relief from what I call the "Do It My Way" writers such as Wendy Shalit and Danielle Crittenden. Most of his practical advice (restricting physical contact, being answerable to others, etc.) is excellent.

But...I still have a few issues with this book. I'm a 31-year-old Christian, happily married for the past decade to another Christian. As a 10-year "veteran" I'd like to say that Mr. Harris has a definite tendency to romanticize marriage. Yes, it is wonderful, but no matter how strong one's faith in God is, there will be in-law trouble, fights over who takes out the trash, issues with money, illness, and just about everything else. That's not to say that overcoming these problems is not one of life's greatest rewards--it is. But I wish he'd dealt a bit more with the practical issues that two people need to sort out before marriage. It's one thing to delay physical and emotional intimacy until you're ready for it, but if you get married to someone without discussing finances, caring for aging parents, child-rearing, and so forth, you are setting yourself up for a good deal more trouble than if you got carried away kissing. Also, and I suspect this is due to his youth, he doesn't seem to recognize that one needs a certain richness of life experience before one can be ready to choose a spouse. I'm not talking about sin here--just being open to the experiences God has to give us.

With this said, I must add that Mr. Harris displays an impressive amount of maturity for his age, and I wish him and his bride all the best.