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135 of 151 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Better than "I Kissed Dating Goodbye".
Joshua Harris has grown in both wisdom and maturity between the time I KISSED DATING GOODBYE was published and BOY MEETS GIRL was published. The first book had some valid points; you should be friends with someone before you date them, you should only date someone you might want to eventually marry, etc. However, much of the book provides very little insight for people...
Published on November 3, 2001 by tvtv3

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54 of 71 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars Two poster-couples in the book are now divorced
I was in college when I Kissed Dating Goodbye first came out. As a conservative, Bible-believing Christian who believes in purity until marriage it has been frustrating to witness the damage that book has done to a generation of Christian kids. And now Boy Meets Girl is going to be re-released to wreck havoc on yet another generation. Ugh!

In the 1960's...
Published on June 27, 2011 by Shopping Mom


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135 of 151 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Better than "I Kissed Dating Goodbye"., November 3, 2001
By 
tvtv3 "tvtv3" (St. Louis Metro East Area) - See all my reviews
(VINE VOICE)    (TOP 500 REVIEWER)   
Joshua Harris has grown in both wisdom and maturity between the time I KISSED DATING GOODBYE was published and BOY MEETS GIRL was published. The first book had some valid points; you should be friends with someone before you date them, you should only date someone you might want to eventually marry, etc. However, much of the book provides very little insight for people who have always dated (or courted) from a Biblical perspective. I didn't enjoy reading IKDG very much and got very little out of it. It seemed to me that the underlying message of the book was that if you "date" and don't "court" your wrong.However, BOY MEETS GIRL is different. Realizing the mistakes of his first book, Harris has written something more useful and practical. To begin with, Harris no longer makes a distinction between "dating" and "courting" as he did in IKDG. Secondly, Harris emphasizes that there is no set pattern, guidelines, or rules to follow to meet and date/court your future mate; God never does something the same way twice. Finally, and probably most importantly, Harris more clearly illustrates than he did in IKDG that as people we cannot look to another person to complete us. Husbands and wives can only complement each other, they can't complete each other, only Jesus can do that. The book also has a lot of useful hints and a few of the stories are quite amazing. A much better book than I KISSED DATING GOODBYE.
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95 of 107 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Good ideas, but mixed feelings., January 5, 2001
Mr. Harris is obviously a sincere Christian and a gifted writer. What impresses me the most about this book is his willingness to acknowledge that yes, people make mistakes, that no mistake is irredeemable in the eyes of God, and that life and the Lord often throws us curves we do not expect. In this respect, he's a welcome relief from what I call the "Do It My Way" writers such as Wendy Shalit and Danielle Crittenden. Most of his practical advice (restricting physical contact, being answerable to others, etc.) is excellent.
But...I still have a few issues with this book. I'm a 31-year-old Christian, happily married for the past decade to another Christian. As a 10-year "veteran" I'd like to say that Mr. Harris has a definite tendency to romanticize marriage. Yes, it is wonderful, but no matter how strong one's faith in God is, there will be in-law trouble, fights over who takes out the trash, issues with money, illness, and just about everything else. That's not to say that overcoming these problems is not one of life's greatest rewards--it is. But I wish he'd dealt a bit more with the practical issues that two people need to sort out before marriage. It's one thing to delay physical and emotional intimacy until you're ready for it, but if you get married to someone without discussing finances, caring for aging parents, child-rearing, and so forth, you are setting yourself up for a good deal more trouble than if you got carried away kissing. Also, and I suspect this is due to his youth, he doesn't seem to recognize that one needs a certain richness of life experience before one can be ready to choose a spouse. I'm not talking about sin here--just being open to the experiences God has to give us.
With this said, I must add that Mr. Harris displays an impressive amount of maturity for his age, and I wish him and his bride all the best.
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59 of 67 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars A biblical followup to a runaway best seller, October 6, 2000
By 
It should come as no surprise to those who have read Joshua Harris' first book, I Kissed Dating Goodbye, that Boy Meets Girl would be filled with sound, biblical advice and stories that can relate to life. Joshua Harris has once again delivered a book on a topic sorely needed by the Christian singles of this world. As an 18 year old who had been a Christian for two months, I purchased IKDG, unsure of where it would lead me. I knew my way of doing things was about to be challenged, but I didn't realize just how much. As I dove into the book, I was convicted in so many ways. God used this to really shape me and my understanding of how He wants me to be in relation to this important area of my life. As someone who has read MANY of these Christian relationship books, I can tell you that there are some good ones out there, but IKDG definitely had the biggest impact on me. However, as I continued to pray over the biblical truths that Harris focused on and how they pertained to my individual life, I (along with thousands others) had to wonder one thing - What about when I *do* find someone who I'd like to pursue a relationship with? Then what? The answer has arrived. Joshua Harris uses Boy Meets Girl to express how God has shown him that it is the state of our heart that matters most, and not legalistic boundaries. Though the book just arrived in my mailbox yesterday, I have torn right through it and been pouring over the scripture referenced that addresses so many pertinent issues. If you loved IKDG, get ready for Boy Meets Girl. Harris has so beautifully expressed the way that God has worked in his life and heart, and this manifestation is definitely something that our generation can use.
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36 of 41 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars A Unique Perspective...A Breath of Fresh Air, November 17, 2000
By 
"buffy05150" (Fresno, CA United States) - See all my reviews
Josh Harris' books (Boy Meets Girl and IKDG) have truly been inspired by God. Evidence that they "work" is seen in Josh's love and devotion to Sharon (his wife). I pray to someday have a relationship as fulfilling as theirs. As a Christian girl who lost her virginity at 18, and became pregnant, married, divorced, and a single mother this year at age 19, i needed a new, FRESH perspective on sex. It was obvious that the world's ideas were wrong... very wrong. The chapters on purity and overcoming past sins have helped me to forgive myself, AND give me something to look forward to in the future. I wish I'd read these books in highschool. So far, I've bought 2 more copies of Boy Meets Girl, and 3 copies of I Kissed Dating Goodbye. I'm lending them out to everyone i can think of, INCLUDING my ex-husband. Buy the books, Read the books, and Share the books. Stop "dating" and experience the sheer JOY of trusting in the Lord.
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21 of 24 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Everyone should read this before taking the next step, November 7, 2001
By 
Carl A. Redman (Austin, TX United States) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   
Although Joshua Harris is a little more conservative than I, the theme of this book is outstanding. In sum, Harris proclaims that the intended relationship for a man and woman is marriage, and that this union should be God-blessed, God-honoring, and God-centered. As Harris says,
"A godly marriage is a man and a woman, side by side in the hand of God's providence, gazing up to Him." Beautiful.
Harris blends very interesting love stories with topics that are vital for people thinking about marriage. These include dating, communications, man and woman's role, sex, past relationships, community involvement in the relationship, and ten questions to ask before you get married. One major point that Harris weaves throughout the book is that marriage should be the goal in the relationship, not just "dating to date."
Some of what Harris says might sound shockingly conservative. Harris waited until his wedding day to kiss his bride. But Harris makes a point to say that this may not be for everyone. What is important is that you make rules and guidelines to follow so that in your relationship you are not overcome with lust.
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16 of 18 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars A Refreshing Reality, September 20, 2005
For many women who have been taught 'the rules' by their friends and sisters, it's refreshing to hear of guy who did not have to be lured into marriage. It's exciting to think of the possibility there are men out there who really do want to get to know a woman as a true friend.

Myself being a new believer, I've spent lots of time searching for books on how exactly this dating thing works as a christian. Isn't the point of dating to see if you're compatible in all areas before deciding to spend the rest of your life with someone? This book gave me the confidence to really know I'm able to make my own choice about being sexually intimate with someone and stick with it. As odd as it sounds, young women are almost made to feel ashamed these days if they're not sexually active.

I loved also the reassurance Josh gave about if you expect to be treated like a lady, if you demand to be treated like a lady, you will be. And the man you're with will continue to treat you like one until the day he passes from this earth. Too many times I've found myself settle in the past for a relationship that didn't make me happy, but I wasn't being abused so how could it be that bad? Now I realize the focus of my relationship was way off.

I am a little concerned about how many of the couples in the book only 'courted' for six months to a year before becoming engaged and married. As wonderful as it is to find someone so quickly, most people don't and it gave me a false sense of hope for a few days of "if I follow these rules I can get a guy to marry me within a year!" It took awhile longer before I snapped out of that thinking.

All in all, it is a book I feel every religious young woman should read before heading into the dating world. It is not the bible, you dont need to follow it's every word, but it provides a good general guide to forming your own thoughts about dating. For me personally, I've decided that before I date anyone, I must know them well enough as a friend and christian to sit back and go "now I wonder if we would be a good match for husband and wife."
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54 of 71 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars Two poster-couples in the book are now divorced, June 27, 2011
By 
I was in college when I Kissed Dating Goodbye first came out. As a conservative, Bible-believing Christian who believes in purity until marriage it has been frustrating to witness the damage that book has done to a generation of Christian kids. And now Boy Meets Girl is going to be re-released to wreck havoc on yet another generation. Ugh!

In the 1960's Christianity was blindsided by the sexual revolution. Suddenly Christian parents could not count on society supporting purity until marriage. Parents were desperate for a system to follow so they latched on to Bill Gothard (who ironically was an effeminate single man)and his legalistic, extra-biblical teachings in the Institute of Basic Youth Conflicts (later principles). One of those teachings stated that attraction between guys and girls was sinful unless marriage could take place. Boys were to view girls only as sisters until magically one day they could turn the romantic switch on when at a marriagable age. I grew up with many who were raised in this teaching and I know of 4 guys who were so psychologically damaged that to this day they have never been able to have a romantic relationship with a girl. When you are taught that basic attraction is sinful, it can mess you up for life.

So in the 1990's Josh Harris repackaged these old teachings to a similar crowd. Homeschooling parents, already wary of the world, hungrily grabbed onto a "new" way for their children to meets their spouses. IKDG gave parents the "answer" to an immoral dating world as well as absolute control in who their children would marry. Well-scrubbed poster couples were then portrayed in Boy Meets Girl as being the perfect examples of what a perfect system could look like. Follow the rules of courtship and you too can ensure that your children will marry and avoid the sinful trappings of the world.

Only problem is, courtship often involves couples who are not compatible with each other but marry anyway out of wanting to obey their parents' wishes. Courtship is pushed by parents and is not a decision young-adults come to in their own free will. Attraction is a vital part of marriage and yet the "guard your heart" mantra tells you that it's sinful to consider attraction even when all of your potential mates are dedicated Christians. Sam and Bethany Torode as well as Megan and Kerrin (two of the poster couples portrayed in Boy Meets Girl) are now divorced. Both are victims of extreme parental countrol gone haywire. In the end parents might be smug about their children avoiding sexual immorality but at what cost? What about allowing your young-adult children to take some time to know who they are (apart from your control) before making the life-altering decision for marriage? Where is the faith that you can raise your children in the Lord and that they will have the wisdom to do chaste dating? Parents, please don't be fooled by this glossy "system" being your "answer". Trust in the Lord and trust in your young-adult children to make the right choices!
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6 of 6 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent!, March 3, 2008
I've read some mixed reviews on this book, so I was pleasantly surprised at how much I loved this book. It was clear cut, honest and based on the Word. This book was great. I am currently in a relationship "with a purpose"- and while we agreed on it's purpose from the start, I was unsure of the specifics. This book was so thorough- it answered all my questions, and shed light on the gray areas. I would highly recommend it to anyone who is considering courting, in the midst of a Courtship, or just wondering what it's all about. The author uses real life examples to illusrate the principles being discussed. It also provides insight on everything from broaching the subject of courtship/marriage to how to handle it if your interests is not reciprocated to discussing/accepting one another's pasts. Simply stated, this is a great book. It tells the truth without preaching at you.
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16 of 20 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Say hello to my review, March 31, 2003
By 
I have never read any of Josh Harris's books before, but I was really impressed with his new book Boy Meets Girl. My youth pastor and his fiancé read the book together and suggested that my girlfriend and I read it together as well. Josh's book taught me a lot about dating compared to courting, but the main idea to me was not about finding the right girl. The book was really about turning aside a lot of outside interference and focusing on an intimate relationship with God. From that relationship with God then is when we can start praying about that special someone. A lot of things that were laid out in the book seemed to hit me in the heart for some reason, and that's when I knew that this guy was for real with what he talked about. There were a lot of things that took place in the book that my girlfriend and I agreed with, but also there were a few things that we disagreed with. We took the things we disagreed with and tried to consider what it would have been like when we started dating if we could have done the things that Josh did. Of course no two couples are exactly the same and that's what makes all of us unique.
It really hit me to read about other Christian couples that were going through the exact same stuff as what I was going through. I always thought that it was just us. Each individual story about Josh's friends is very good. It's good to see what goes on in other Christian relationships and to see how they confront their lives. To all of the people that read this review I very highly recommend the book Boy Meets Girl by Josh Harris.
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5 of 5 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Practical Advice that you can use., January 12, 2006
The book "I kissed dating Goodbye" is written with the idea that the people reading it are either not old enough to get married or genuinely not yet interested in getting married. This book is more for those who are ready to move toward that kind of relationship. It gives advice you can put to use in your situation right away. This book helped me straighten out my priorities and prepared me for the courtship relationship that soon followed. If you're in a serious relationship this book can help you move confidently toward marriage or possibly prove that you're not ready for marriage and help you re-examine your motives before moving forward. I wouldn't say this book is for every teenager. Younger teens that aren't ready for marriage could probably benefit more from "I Kissed Dating Goodbye", but young adults who want to take the right steps toward marriage might find this helpful in starting them on the right path.
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Boy Meets Girl: Say Hello to Courtship
Boy Meets Girl: Say Hello to Courtship by Joshua Harris (Audio Cassette - October 18, 2000)
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