Customer Reviews

The Boy Who Loved Windows: Opening The Heart And Mind Of A Child Threatened With Autism

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If you like dramatic stories about autism "cures" or tales about extremely devoted parents doing everything possible to help their troubled children, then this is a book for you. It's very well written and a real page-turner, a classic of this genre. Before I had children, it would have been right up there with my favorite books. I loved this kind of book!

Then came my oldest son, who is on the autistic spectrum. After 11 years of wonderful life with him, I have very different feelings about such books, and I will go out on a limb and say I have a right to. Life with children with autism or PDD or Aspergers is hard but rewarding, tough but at times extremely wonderful. But it's not a dramatic story. It's not something where through your own slavish devotion you can "fix" your child.

I am not saying that the author is not telling the truth. I am sure she IS telling what happened to her. I could write a book too, about having a son that was diagnosed with classic autism at 2, and now at 11 doesn't even completely met the diagnostic criteria for Aspergers. But it wouldn't be as dramatic as this one, as I did nothing terribly dramatic to bring this about. My feeling is autism is not an iron-clad scientific diagnosis. As children grow, they change, and certainly having devoted parents and professionals is a great thing for them, but sometimes the early diagnosis has to be revisited, and no-one can say exactly why. I DO know that other children in a family also need time, and an extreme regiment like the one shown here, which at times involved not even leaving the house and parents spending extreme amounts of time with one child, can leave out the other children no matter how hard you try to not make this so.

I don't want to put down the author or her family. I admire anyone for loving their children so much. But there are so many of us other families out there, living day by day with our kids. I can no longer simply enjoy a book like this, as I once certainly would, without thinking of its impact on readers or, someday, on the adults on the autistic spectrum who will read it.

From the moment I started this book I couldn't put it down. Patricia Stacey writes with exquisite detail, honesty and humor about the desperate journey she and her family began upon the birth of her son Walker. As I read of her race to uncover what was at the root of Walker's diffficulties, and to help him connect with her and the world at large, I too felt panic, chaos, exhilaration and hope. The book does an extraordinary job of making sensory integration understandable, and provides great detail about the specific therapies, especially Floortime, that enabled Walker to blossom. But this book is not only for parents of children with autism, or clinicians. Ms. Stacey puts beautiful words to larger thoughts and questions about how we all connect to each other that will linger long after finishing the book.

This compelling true story traces the intriciate map of a child's troubled journey from birth to five years. Told as a mother's memoir in eloquent and moving language, we learn of Walker's difficults in his earliest months of life. His lack of strength, slow growth, terrible allergies, and, most troubling, his need to draw inward and fix on the light of the windows. So begins one family's odyssey to find help for their son Walker who is threatened with autism.

First time author Stacey tacks deftly between medical research in the area of sensory integration disorder and autism, and the emotional terrain of a passionate and loving parent who is also struggling along as wife, sister, daughter, friend. Stacey explores the terrors of worrying that her child may be severly limited in his capabilities, along with the inescapable fatique and fallout from a near obssessive devotion to doing whatever is necessary to save Walker.

Because of the urgency of early intervention in these types of sensory integration disorders, the book is highly suspenseful and dramatic. I couldn't put it down. I had to know what did the next doctor think, how was Walker responding to therapy provided by REACH, would he regress or continue with breakthroughs, how was Walker's four-year-old sister Elizabeth coping with the turmoil in her family.

When you close this book, you will feel that Pat, Cliff, Elizabeth and Walker have drawn you into their New England home to share their intimate experience of heartbreak and of triumph. You will feel that you've been on the floor doing the "floor time" prescribed by the esteemed Dr. Stanley Greenspan. That you've been left abandonned in the waiting room of yet another surly medical expert. That you've experienced the excitement of Walker's first ride in his stroller in the driveway, of his laughter, first words and eventual development into an active, verbal, loving child.

I highly recommend this book to anyone who has loved a child. Walker's dramatic and uplifting story is powerfully recounted with luminous imagery and fierce honesty. Stacey's enormous literary talent is evident from the first page. I look forward to reading more of her work.

The Boy Who Loved Windows: Opening the Heart and Mind of a Child Threatened With Autism by Patricia Stacey is a wonderfully rich, poignant book that is compelling and beautifully written. As a clinician working with children and families on the autistic spectrum I have come to know and work with many children and their families. This book gives a clear picture describing the components that make up the autism spectrum and gives hope to all of those who are diagnosed.

Ms. Stacey describes what happened with her own son and family in beautiful prose while giving clear, practical information on how to help and work with all children. We need to follow their lead, encourage them to be engaged with us and help them to grow using the developmental model. The method that Ms. Stacey chose to use with her son (Developmental, Individual Difference, Relationship Based) helped him to engage, attend and enjoy relationships and the world around him.

I find that this book is many things. It is mostly about possibility for change and growth. When a child is diagnosed with having an autism spectrum disorder it affects the whole family system. The hopelessness and despair that parents feel upon having their fears confirmed can be, and often is devastating. In many areas of the country older intervention methods are relied upon and people are not aware that newer methodologies exist-let alone work. Ms. Stacey gives her readers many gifts in her book. She gives clear information on Sensory Integration, Autism Spectrum Disorders, courage and hope.

This book is a must read for parents, family, friends and professionals. Whether you know someone on the spectrum or not, you will gain a new level of understanding on what it is like to live the life of a parent of a child with autism, what a child with autism means to the family and community and that there are wonderful new interventions available to help the child (or adult) to change and grow in a positive way.

Ms. Stacey's book is not about shunning the autism community or those on the autism spectrum. Stanley Greenspan, M.D., puts it beautifully when he talks about working with those with communication and learning disorders-"redefining potential". It is about giving hope and help and that there is potential for each child on the spectrum-and that each of us can do better, can climb the developmental ladder and be more comfortable within ourselves, in the world and with one another. This is the message that comes through in the book and it is an amazing gift to readers.

The Boy Who Loved Windows

I finished reading this book this past weekend and found the story compelling but flawed. It is wonderful to hear about parents investing time in their children and doing all they can to help their child overcome any difficulties that they might encounter. Patricia Stacey does that with her son Walker. She should be much-admired by all parents with the work she had done with Walker but I do not feel that he had autism or not severely.

He appeared to be hypersensitive. There may be cross references to autism with SI but correlations could be made with autism and ADD, OCD and many other things and have been. Autism is relatively new to being diagnosed properly it wasn't until recently that Asperger's Syndrome, which is on the autism scale, has been diagnosed. A proper diagnosis does not usually come until the child is between 18 months and older and in the case of Asperger's, on occasion, not at all. Sensory problems are an aspect of autism but that is not all it is. Children with this diagnosis have communication problems along with socialisation difficulties and any one of these areas of difficulty can be more elevated than the other. Commonly socialisation difficulties and communication troubles are what red flag the diagnosis.

Autism has such a wide variation of components that I can understand how she might think that her son had it but it is incurable but treatable where the child learns to acclimatize in social situations and other areas. A person with autism will always be autistic. There is not a person hiding behind this mystery of autism. The book was well written but it could give a sense of false sanguinity.

I would recommended George and Sam: Autism in the Family by Charlotte Moore to a person wanting more information on what a child is like with a severe case of autism also Not Even Wrong : Adventures in Autism by Paul Collins is a very well done book on the history of autism. George and Sam is available via Amazon UK.

The Boy Who Loved Windows engages the reader at every level - as a personal memoir, a family chronicle, a medical narrative, and a philosophical meditation. Like a master photographer, Patricia Stacey moves confidently among these genres, zooming in until we feel ourselves inhabiting the same space as Walker and his family, then pulling back to give a panoramic view of the medical research and philosophical questions underpinning the diagnosis and treatment of autism. Stacey's "voice" rings with such clarity, curiosity and compassion that it brings to mind the wonderful work of Oliver Sacks, the renown neurologist, professor, and author of The Man Who Mistook His Wife for a Hat and An Anthropologist on Mars. Like Sacks, Stacey honors what is unique to each individual while extracting what is universal about all of us. By so vividly imagining herself inside Walker's autistic body and mind, she enlarges our understanding of what being human is essentially about. No matter what disease, disorder, defect or disability may befall us - early in life or later on - we all strive for greater self-awareness even as we reach out to the world around us.

If you approach this book with an expansive mind, it will reward you with fresh insights and intuitive leaps. In my case, I was struck by the author's description of Greenspan's presentation of floor time as a "philosophy of moments." This is the essence of the practice of mindfulness - being open to an awareness of the moment. It occurred to me that floor time is to a child with autism spectrum disorder what the practice of mindfulness is to an adult with an acutely sensitive nervous system. Whether child or adult, many individuals have nervous systems that often cause them to feel overwhelmed by the world and stymied on their path to self-discovery. For them, the practice of mindfulness leads to a relaxed state of attentiveness to both the inner world of thoughts and feelings and the outer world of actions and perceptions. Like floor time, mindful engagement not only increases connection with words and objects, but also increases connection with people. Along with a focus on moments, the themes of joyful learning and empathy building are prominent in both floor time and mindfulness. Stacey puts it beautifully when she writes that floor time is "about two things, about building tolerance and about building humanity."

I strongly recommend this book to anyone who has come to understand him/herself (or a family member) as having a highly sensitive nervous system. Whether you've come to this realization through an experience with autism spectrum disorder, developmental language disorder (like dyslexia), attention deficit disorder, or affective spectrum disorder (like migraine, obsessive-compulsive or panic disorder), this book will enlarge your understanding of that experience. As Stacey observes near the end of the book, our culture has long neglected the development of highly individualized nervous systems. Through the introduction of floor time, she writes, Greenspan has taught us "that playing to the nervous system of a loved one is a matter of being mindful and watchful."

There is no known cure or quick fix for autism or any of the other spectrum disorders that have a significant sensory processing dysfunction. Contrary to what a previous reviewer writes, Stacey never claims there is cure for autism. A close reading of the book shows clearly that Stacey herself questions the use of the word "cure" in relation to autism as she struggles to better understand what differentiates autism "that is treatable from autism that isn't." Through her extensive social science research and her deep philosophical questioning, Stacey tries to bring some clarity to the medical nomenclature of diagnosis and treatment and she courageously approaches the essential mind/body problem that continues to divide psychologists and philosophers around the nature of Self and Other; Perception and Language; and Emotions, Behavior, and Cognition. What Stacey conveys so beautifully in the telling of Walker's story is stunningly simple and resoundingly true - we all want to feel at home in the world.

"Absolute attention is prayer," Simone Weil once said. Patricia Stacey and her husband, Cliff, gave absolute attention to their little boy, Walker, who showed early signs of autism, and the results, narrated in this beautifully written memoir, are breathtaking. As an infant, Walker did not smile, laugh, or even cry, now he talks, reads, plays soccer, and attends school.
But THE BOY WHO LOVED WINDOWS is not only about about the power of parental devotion, it's also about the magic of language, about what happens when a writer takes her calling seriously and pays absolute attention to words. Patricia Stacey has made a lasting contribution--not only to psychology and child development but also to autobiography and memoir. THE BOY WHO LOVED WINDOWS is a classic and deserves every major writing award it's sure to receive.

I inhaled this book in two days. Patricia Stacey's breathtaking style, as she relates gripping family drama one minute and ponders the philosophical intricacies of the mind-body connection the next, weaves together the strands of raw gold that form her story, gold that might have emerged heavy and tarnished in the hands of a lesser writer. Like another reviewer, I recommend it to anyone who loves a child, who is interested in developmental psychology, to the many parents who struggle for the confidence to raise their children according to their own instincts in the face of a society that relentlessly questions them--but more than anything else, this is a book for anyone who is interested in reading about the mysteries that are the human condition. For in telling us her story, Pat illuminates all stories, especially family stories. An avid reader, much of what I read comes and goes; this book will stay with me and I am grateful Pat has written it.

This book is fascinating. One of the reasons I originally checked it out was to learn more about what kinds of therapies work with children struggling with sensory integration disorder (I'm pursuing a degree in education), and I did learn a lot. In fact, for anyone--parents, teachers, ANYONE--who wants to see up close what goes into doing intensive and effective therapy this is your book. However, I was happily surprised to find that the book is also just a great story. I couldn't put it down. And, as if that weren't enough, and what really makes this book exceptional, is that the information the author presents--and she does this seamlessly--about how the brain works in tandem with the body to inform our connection to the world is, well, fascinating. I found myself riveted to both the story and the ideas. I would go so far as to say that anyone, not just those who want to learn about autism or sensory integration issues, who wants to learn more about our brains and ourselves would find this book interesting.

Pat Stacey has written a beautiful book about her very personal experience with her son. That Walker is threatened by autism is almost incidental to the powerful prose that comes forth from Stacey as if it were air. This is a story that any parent can relate to, the obsession of being the mother of a child.
The experiences of this family as they explore alternative therapies and exhaust their finances are things we all must do to survive in extraordinary circumstances. As overwhelmed as Pat, Cliff, Elizabeth, and tiny Walker were, they showed themselves to be heroes in an emotional battle.
This book must be read. Patricia Stacey is an artist.