Customer Reviews

Boy Wonder: My Life in Tights

5 star:		(6)
4 star:		(10)
3 star:		(5)
2 star:		(3)
1 star:		(10)

 

 

What can I say about this book> It's really little more than Burt Ward's letters to Penthouse. He covers very little about his real personal life but stays focused on his sexual smorgasbord. Even that is unconvincingly portayed with the variety of females he encountered ranging from 'Psycho' re-enactors, vampiresses, French Mile-Highers, to wham-bams. I'm not saying this didn't happen to him, he was afterall a celebrity of a hit tv show. As others have pointed out, he recalls events that couldn't have happened and the time flow of the book is sporadic, jumping forward and backward. Ward's juvenile braggadocio about his sexual contacts becomes very stagnant as well as his constant mentioning of the 'beast of the Battrunks".

Ward is careful to insist he never cheated on any of his wives and claims to have a high moral and family standard. He says he didn't sleep with women without actually talking to them for a while first or taking them to dinner, yet he repeatedly mentions quick acts in the dressing room. One of the most amusing parts of his stories is that with every new detailed story of a woman he is with, they "took each other to new levels and learned more than he ever knew or thought possible"; come on, there's only so many 'new' things you can do. Hypocrasy arises when Ward talks of a steady from Hawaii that was bi-sexual but he was put off by it and ended the relationship because her lifestyle was wrong (conveniently she also had a 'sugar daddy' taking care of her but was willing to give him up if Ward married her). So he can't condone her partnership with another woman but then shortly after gives an entire chapter on how he took on eight prostitutes at the same time. Not to mention how he took a woman he 'loved' and performed acts on her in front of West while he took care of himself.

This whole book seems to be about two things really. His sexual conquests and belittling Adam West, his purported best friend. Having mentioned the first part already, the latter really borders on jealous rantings. Afterall, name something else Ward did after Batman? West at least did a few things. Other than attempting to degrade West's manhood, Ward also insinuates he (Ward) was better at the act than West was to the point West had to voyeur Ward in action. He also insinuates West may have jump off both sides of the swing and finally wraps things up with indicating West was a moocher. This coming from the guy who married into Victor Posner's empire and who for the previous twenty years spent his life roaming malls and car dealerships to sign autographs.

Overall, this is a pretty sleazy book based upon Ward's bragging and skeptical remembrances, however, you're compelled to read it because it's so funny because you know he's exaggerating. You can't have instant connections to every girl you meet, every encounter doesn't make you learn something new, and you just don't cut down your 'best friend' that way. Really, it's a quick money maker for another failed actor of a hit tv show. The book would have been so much better if he had actually talked about his real life and not his conquests. His father's death gets a six word sentence very late in the book although it happened around the time of the show, how did that affect you, Burt? You feel kind of dirty after reading parts of it, but if you read West's book "Back to the Batcave", you should read this one too.

I'm a big fan of private parts, but 300 pages of Burt Ward bragging about his and denigrating Adam West's is tedious (especially since a viewing of the show suggests that Frank Gorshin's Riddler could easily tower over both). Burt, put the ruler away and tell us about your life: what it was like to be the Boy Wonder, to work with some of the biggest stars on television, to rise to the stratosphere as a pop culture icon in the 1960's and then crash and burn in the 1970's. That story would be fascinating; sexcapades with starlets are just sleazy.

Published by a company that Burt Ward owns (with good cause... no one in their right mind would touch this), Burt tells us how he was an honor role student, best chess player in his school, and speed reads 30,000 words a minute. He later describes how he was Bruce Lee's equal in the martial arts and how the nasty Batman producers kept him from playing the title role in The Graduate, leaving the role open for Dustin Hoffman. What he does not tell us is how such a great actor as he seems to feel that he is, spent the next thirty years making a living shaking hands at car lots.

He does tell us that he got laid a lot. Not as much detail is spent discussing the un-named compainons though as tales as to how large his organ is, and how many orgasms he was able to bring them to on a regular basis.

Funny thing about the book. He never discusses any friends. Upon reading the book it is apparent as to why. It is hard to imagine him having any.

After reading the first few pages of this book, it seemed like it was going to be an inspirational story of Burt Ward's struggle to success in one of the most beloved TV comedies of all time. Instead, I was brought into a somewhat funny (if not exaggerated) tell-all. At times it was charming, funny, and clever (for example, the stories about his first wife, apperances at schools, and one heck of a chapter on Julie Newmar) ...but in other moments it would go into sleazy, trashy, and VERY over-exaggerated nonsense (referring to yourself as a mock 'Super Stud Porn King' leaves a bad taste in anyones mouth).

Buy it if you are a die hard Batman fan, or if you didn't grow up on the show...but if your only memories are of good natured fun on a clever TV show...read Adam West's "Back To The Batcave".

How can one believe the =large= things Ward alleges when he goofs up or wimps out on details?Two examples.First, Ward states that in test-footage of another actor considered for the role of Batman, Ward recognized Lyle Waggoner from his appearances on the Carol Burnett show. One problem: Waggoner began his run as a cast member of that program =after= ABC began running BATMAN.Second (and worse) example.Ward claims he had a relationship with a blonde of Scandinavian origin who had a role on a tv show which aired during the same period that ABC broadcast BATMAN and that was also filmed on the Fox lot.Obviously, he is referring to Marta Kristen of LOST IN SPACE.He says this unnamed female flipped out when he broke it off with her and went about in a trance swinging an ax over her head.Little wonder he doesn't name Kristen since a cast member of LOST IN SPACE assured me that Burt Ward =never= dated Kristen and added that, while he respected Adam West, he had no use for Burt Ward.Join the club, I told him.

A shallow, self-promoting work. While Adam West discussed his Batman role with dignity in "Back to the Batcave," it is a shame that Burt Ward did not do the same. Instead, he chose to harp on his putative accomplishments and sexual exploits, which left a foul taste in this reader's mouth.

This book is fodder: mildly entertaining, but very shallow. Burt is not a particularly good writer, and since the sum total of what he did in show business was playing Robin on the Batman TV show for three years, he doesn't have much to write about anyway. The book mostly consists of his macho, exaggerated tales and insinuations of his romantic escapades while he was on the show. It's not that those stories are uninteresting, but they seemed too much like obnoxious bragging to me. There's a fair amount of Batman memories, which is what most people will buy the book for, but since Burt did practically nothing else show-business-wise after Batman except auto and trade shows, he spends way too much time in the latter chapters telling us insufferably boring details about his beautiful wife, his beautiful houses, his many animals and servants, along with how rich he is, how successful his boring business is, how great his life is, etc. He seems obsessed with relentlessly conveying to us that he is not a has-been, is a sexual stud, and is very successful. Believe what you will, but I thought he went overboard with a lot of it.

The most irritating characteristic of the book is the realization after a while that, apparently, Burt Ward is extremely self-righteous. At no time does he ever admit to any wrongdoing or mistakes on his part. Everyone else is always at fault for everything bad that happened to him; his ex-wives, his co-stars, his agents, and especially Adam West, whom he spends a lot of time steamrolling. Burt Ward is, I guess, perfect in his own mind; a victim of a world of idiots out to get him, according to this book.

However, I will admit that the first half of this book (mostly about Batman) was fun to read. I doubt if anyone who would buy this book is looking for a masterpiece of writing, and you definitely won't get that! But if you like the old Batman show and admire his spirited work on it, go ahead and buy this book. But be prepared to be manipulated a little bit by the exaggerated, self-absorbed tales of Burt's romantic prowess, and bored by a lot of eye-rolling filler about what little he did after Batman ended. If you can digest fodder well, then buy this book. If not, don't waste your time.

Well, let's see... to begin with, it's not a non-fiction masterpiece. I'm giving it three stars just for Burt's gutsy approach. You know, I loved Batman - the original series with Adam West and Burt Ward from watching the show religiously as a child - this was amazing, campy brain candy. Great guests, funny (yet crazy) plots, all of that Holy Batman dialogue and animated "POW" and "WAM" nonsense. As much as I have grown to love anything retro - the cheesier the better, in fact - I did feel a bit dirty after reading this. Who knew these sexcapades were going on? My memories feel a bit soiled as well. But I did snicker a few times (along with some grimacing). Now about that cover... I don't even know where to begin. BURT! WHY? WHY? WHY WOULD'YA DO IT TO US???? Sigh. I'd better stop here. Though it is a must read for any real retro-Batman fan. Just be prepared... Be very prepared...

This is, without a doubt, the worst book that I have ever read.

The one conclusion that I drew from the book was that, in real life, Robin is a ... loser. I would have thought that he had an interesting life. I was wrong. What is so sad is that he puffs up himself all through the book, but then he slams almost every person that he ever knew. I think the only exception to that is he speaks well of his kids and his current wife. Of course, he ought to speak well of her because she is his sugar daddy - without her money he would be a poor man, as he has no talent, no scruples and no life.

Please, don't read this book. You will thank me for it.

Robin, good luck, hope that you find a life someday.

You gotta hand it to Burt Ward, he's not a guy hiding behind the usual mask. He really tells ALL in this memoir of sex, stardom, and life as a sidekick.

Any one of his excruciatingly detailed descriptions of his myriad sexual encounters reads a little like a sex blog, but there's something genuinely likeable about this talented guy who never seemed to grow up. And when I say, "talented," I am not referring to his dorky acting in that atrociously camp TV series. His talents consist mainly of great personal charm, a near photographic memory, early athleticism (pro skater as a toddler? believe it) and impressive martial artistry. Whatever "IT" is, he has it in spades, and the book has a kind of glow about it. He's confident, enthusiastic, funny, and unapologetic. Even when he's dishing dirt about Adam West (Batman), or devouring groupies like a bag of chips, he's utterly captivating and ...I don't believe I'm actually writing this... playful.

In between the smutty sections, there are lots of interesting tidbits about 60's network television, vignettes of what it means to make the best of being forever known as "Robin the Boy Wonder", and through it all, he manages to stay juuuuust gentlemanly enough to praise the good work of fellow actors and those whom he depended upon. But surely his wife is just a little grossed out to know that in print and wide distribution is his rating her AAA+ in "screaming wallbangers", multiple orgasms, and "tongue action" a page flip away from a lovely baby picture of their daughter. Eeeyw!

Fun reading for fans of the series or of 60's tv in general, but don't take it too seriously, fandom folks. I mean, he even admitted he never read Batman comics as a kid.