Boyfriend 101: A Gay Guy's Guide to Dating, Romance, and Finding True Love [Paperback]

Jim Sullivan (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: May 13, 2003

You’ve done the bar thing. You’ve let your best friend set you up. You’ve even logged on to a gay dating website. But the man of your dreams is still out there, just waiting for you to find him. What’s a gay guy to do? Look no further than this book.

Whether you’re new to the dating scene or just wanting a refresher course, in Boyfriend 101 you’ll find an abundance of practical tips for meeting the right man (and avoiding the wrong ones) and keeping him (and you) interested for the long term. Topics include:

•Deciding what you need versus what you want in a boyfriend
•Icebreakers that actually work
•Expanding your social network
•The best places to meet men
•Writing a hot personal ad or online profile
•First-date protocols (or, Waiting until after the third date to have sex)
•Discussing HIV and negotiating safe sex
•Maintaining a healthy body image
•Overcoming fear of abandonment
•Creating healthy lines of communication with your boyfriend

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Professional counselor Sullivan supplements his breezy advice with anecdotes from his clients to coach gay readers looking for Mr. Right. As the "101" title implies, this is a beginner's guide with Sullivan starting at the ground level ("What is a date?"). His baby-steps approach covers potential opening lines for small talk with strangers; a three-page list of qualities to help narrow the focus of what your Mr. Right needs to possess; and locations for running into eligible men. Sullivan's banal scripted "one-minute encounters" should encourage even the most tongue-tied that it doesn't take clever observations to open a conversation. Some of Sullivan's advice seems so rudimentary that it seems designed for shut-ins rather than someone new to gay dating. One of the things not to say on a first date is "My father was a drunk," while Sullivan says men like to hear "Your butt is awesome," "I'm so proud of you" and "You make fabulous coffee." Sullivan's advice is more constructive when dealing with relationships: dating someone with a different HIV status; integrating your "inner teenager"; working through internalized homophobia; and suggested communication strategies for couples. The book ends with a useful resource guide that lists online matchmaking services, gay organization links and reference directories
Copyright 2003 Reed Business Information, Inc.

Review

“For those of us who are dating-impaired, is the perfect guidebook. Filled with practical, easy-to-follow suggestions, this book will set even the most reluctant and skeptical of daters on the road to success.” —Michael Thomas Ford, author of It’s Not Mean If It’s True and The Little Book of Neuroses

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Product Details

• Paperback: 288 pages
• Publisher: Villard; 1st edition (May 13, 2003)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0812992199
• ISBN-13: 978-0812992199
• Product Dimensions: 5.2 x 0.6 x 7.9 inches
• Shipping Weight: 7.2 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (13 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #222,507 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

18 of 19 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Informative Book, September 11, 2003

By 

Jake Z "holden84" (Canada) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Boyfriend 101: A Gay Guy's Guide to Dating, Romance, and Finding True Love (Paperback)

I read this book out of curiosity - as well having a bit of trouble with the dating scene. Before I read this book I felt I had all the answers, I knew everything and no one could really tell me anything. I was untouchable, in retrospect. Although subconsciouslly I knew I was not perfect and had some issues to work through, I read this book and it did open my eyes in many areas and helped me understand that I need to take blame, but not completely. I needed to learn from my mistakes, and the way the material is expressed here is very helpful and to the point. The writing is easy to understand and quirky in a sense, it's not a dry read at all. His suggestions for opening conversations with guys though I found helpful, however slightly pretentious. He makes it sound so easy to start a conversation or to just find someone on the street but it's not always that easy. The book dealt with a number of issues, such as proper dating rules, what is inappropriate, body image issues, abandonment issues, types, and more. I found the book informative, even for things that were unrelatable to me. I think if anyone read this book it would help in any way, as humans we want to think that we don't need any help but it's ok to learn and make yourself a better person.

13 of 13 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars loved it - recomended, April 9, 2006

By 

J. Pomeranz "TeacherReader" (New York, NY USA) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Boyfriend 101: A Gay Guy's Guide to Dating, Romance, and Finding True Love (Paperback)

After reading the bread and butter gay dating books (e.g. "the MANdates") Dating 101 emerged from the stack. Most importantly, the author Jim Sullivan gives practical advice to integrate into your everyday life. Using real cases of men he worked with, Sullivan addresses the psychology of many gay relationships while helping the reader understand what successful relationships and dating should look like. This means recognizing the "red flags" faster while gaining a clearer understanding of your own issues.

An earlier reviewer complained: the book did not help him meet science geeks. In context, it seems like this reviewers issues are more with the gay community than the text. Clearly, Morrison cannot address every social niche. Despite this, Morrison works will all sorts of men and he offers advice on how to meet men and expand your social circle.

If you want a textbook on dating, you have come to the wrong place. However, for anyone looking for an enjoyable book with practical advice and insight, this text is recommended.

8 of 8 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Generally a Good Book; Great Thought Starter, April 5, 2007

By 

William Segraves (San Jose, CA) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

Amazon Verified Purchase

This review is from: Boyfriend 101: A Gay Guy's Guide to Dating, Romance, and Finding True Love (Paperback)

A great book for those just starting on the gay dating scene, or for those who haven't been having much luck. This book guides you from A-Z on how to date, how to avoid many of the pitfalls that gay men face while dating, and how to make a relationship last. My only major disagreement is that the author states that most gay men go through a 'slut stage' before they are ready to settle for love. This may be true for a large number of gay men, but I know many others that wait for love to have sex. I would highly recommend this book to anyone who wants a good general guide to dating other men.