Customer Reviews

The Boyfriend Test: How to Evaluate HIS Potential BEFORE You Lose YOUR Heart

5 star:		(11)
4 star:		(2)
3 star:		(3)
2 star:		(2)
1 star:		(4)

 

 

I was given an early copy of this book a couple of months ago... when I was in a very different space then I am now after reading it. Many of Wendy's past experiences mirrored mine, but I never had her insight on why relationships wouldn't work out as I thought they should have. This book brings to life why men and women react toward each other and relationships differently and suggests to women how and why we need to avoid repeating bad habits and learn to take care of our emotional selves better. The Boyfriend Test is the antithesis of The Rules. It's written for bright, thoughtful women, not for women willing to lower their standards and play head games in order to win a man. Since reading the book I have met a wonderful guy, who had to pass many of Wendy's tests before I gave him the thumbs up. I'm not saying that you'll find yourself in a committed relationship after reading The Boyfriend Test, but I will say that it speaks to the larger percentage of us, the bright women looking to treat and be treated respectfully and lovingly.

I am a guy; I have always been fascinated by what actually is going on in woman's mind. It seems that a different sexual orientation is the greatest forces that can diversify thinking between two members of the same species. This book can easily attest to that.

After reading the Boyfriend Test I was rather sad to know that this author thinks of her experience as valuable and educational to her audience. Actually, they are educational in that they might tell women on how not to behave. The author is a good example of a person who knows little about the dynamics of intersexual interaction. It is not a surprise to see no PhD. following her name, which led me to speculate where whether she gathered most of her "valuable experience" at college frat parties. However, a beautiful anchor woman is rather a sought after mate by most men and I'm not surprised after all that Walsh developed scars from jumping between relationships.

Anyway, what most irritated me about this book was a large number of generalities she states with outmost confidence of being correct. Is it really bad when a guy arrives early for a date? If a guy did not have a serious relationship until past 25 does that mean that something is terminally wrong with him? My happily married psychology professor went out on his first date when he was 24!

Overall, Walsh's approach to dating was extremely superficial. Her advice would be valuable to those women who seem to have the same problems as her, attracting or looking for wrong men. I have many guy friends and I can tell a girl right away whether one of my friends will be a devoted boyfriend or someone who will break her heart. How do I know? I know because I knew my friends for a long time I and I have a good insight into their personalities. I have friends who are in teens but who had over 10 sexual partners. I have friends who are in twenties but never kissed a girl because they are too shy. It all boils down to one thing. When starting to date, do not hurry things. You have to get to know that person better! You have to understand whether you two are compatible. This is common sense and I know that women are intelligent enough to know it without needing a book to tell them this. There are no rules guidelines, there just needs to be time.

There are some basic themes here that you'll find in most dating guides. 'Be yourself,' 'expect more,' and 'don't be a doormat.' The most notable things she talks about are picking up on signals, and not filling in gaps with what you want to hear. Mainly, she says, listen to what he's really saying -- both in his words and actions.

Frankly, the woman who wrote this is not your standard-issue female -- she's a former model (if memory serves) who is a beautiful, on-air reporter. Her initial story is about her making out with Dennis Rodman. It kind of made me feel like I was circulating in a very different crowd... perhaps that's why I didn't really bond with her?

Men don't usually read this type of book and I wouldn''t have except that I am also a "dating-relationship" author and like to read what others have to say on the subject.

Wendy Walsh does a very good job of asking the key questions during the early stages of a romance. I also contend that most of the mistakes in romantic relationships are started in the beginning stages.

Ms. Walsh also is very fair in assessing what it is that women have to do in order to attract and deserve love and I commend her on doing this. At first glance, one might think that this book is all about what's wrong with men.

Her own story which she begins and ends her book with shows me a slight distortion of reality which has a lot to do with her being highly attractive, a well-known television personality, and a Beverly Hills-Hollywood-Santa Monica-Malibu lifestyle. It makes for interesting reading, great stories, but may not really apply to the masses.

I recommend this book and think that readers will find value in this. Just remember to journal in the questions and remember that Wendy wanted you to use them to "weed out the losers," not jinx your love life by looking for faults.

If women take this book in its properly context (stage 1 evaluations), and keep their optimism fresh, it is a real gem.

Wendy Walsh addresses relevant issues. An inspiration to every woman.

A truly rewarding book of what it means to be a woman in the Year 2001.

Denise Robinson - Canada

The Boyfriend Test? Well, I loved it so much I thought I would test three of the guys asking me out lately by handing it to them. One of the potentials did not laugh or even so much as smile, so he was out . The other two? One put it in his bookshelf (I checked) and the other, well, lets just say he got an A+. Not only did he read it, he brought up (unprovoked) issues that we girls usually have to bring up. The Boyfriend Test saved me months of mental anguish. Dont just get it for your girlfriends, get it for your boyfriends!!!! And if they dont laugh, get a new student!

All my girlfriends have read this book and quote from it regularly. Lots of times we are in doubt about what to do and read excerpts from the book. It clarifies what is really happening. It isn't like the Rules book which (in my opinion) encourages games and lies. Instead this book helps women select someone right for them and keep their dignity along the way. I found this book to be extremely useful and insightful!

This book is a must for any man who wants to meet the right woman and keep her.

It's unfortunate that Wendy Walsh managed to find someone to put her opinions about dating into print, as this may lend them a credence that they really don't deserve. In 'The Boyfriend Test,' Ms. Walsh enumerates her methodology for how women can successfully wade through the dating pool to find their Mr. Right. Unfortunately, the author's understanding of the male gender is largely facile and unnuanced. She seems to urge women to approach dating like a cattle-call job interview. Men are to be evaluated based on a rather rigid criteria list the author claims will help women separate the worthy from the unworthy. Line them up, size them up and mark them off; finding a quality man is just that simple--or so the author claims.

Based on her own dating confessions, it seems that Ms. Walsh played the field for a time, had her fun, then went about settling down, all in a rather businesslike manner. Accordingly, she seems to view men as commodities that may either enrich or blight a woman's life, much like a mid-sized sedan or smart phone. Her penchant for Consumer Reports-esque lists of test questions reinforce her view that men can be measured, quantified, and analyzed for their coupling potential in an entirely empirical manner. Is his career in the building phase? Deduct two points. Does he speak nicely about his mother? Add a point. Does he tip waiters at least 3 points above the standard 15%? Add half a point.

In reality, finding true love is rarely this linear. Are there warning signs that a man might not have good long-term relationship potential? Of course, like the fact that he introduced himself by grinding you on the dance floor or the fact that he took a call from his girlfriend during your date. As with the author's ill-advised tryst with Dennis Rodman, there are times when you just know. The rest of dating is basically a gray area. The author's adherence to a 'Rules'-type dating approach is rife with holes. There's just as broad a spectrum of personalities among the male gender as there is among women. Ms. Walsh's rather inane opinions in this book will not get you any closer to understanding men and finding Mr. Right.

I found this book at a local bookstore and found the title and its contents amusing. While the SATs may account for the ability of SOME students, the test in this book may account for the ability of SOME men as potential boyfriends.

The plusses:

Helps you define what you may or may not be looking for in a guy. Sometimes we think we know what we want but forget about some aspects until we hear or read about them.
Helps you compare the man/men in your life to what you might be able to get in other men. There are many fish in the sea of life.
Nice for a good chuckle.

The minuses:

The book doesn't take into account that you may not have originally met the man in person but in a different fashion (ie: blind date, online, etc...). I couldn't really score present and past men because of this. It also doesn't take into account the relationships that occur as a result of friendship. My sister is an example of this. She recently married a man that was her best friend. There was no answer to the question "did he call between days 2 and 7?" As with life, there are always exceptions to the rule.
It boxes men and is that really fair to them? There are some great guys out there that aren't perfect. Sometimes we have to go with our gut, not a scorecard.

Overall, it isn't a bad book. I did look at it with some intensity. The bottom line is that you have to know what you'll put up with and what you won't put up with. Let's face it, dating is plagarized with good people and bad people. It's a game that has no rules yet every person thinks they know them. It sucks. However, I'd rather be happily single than sadly married.