Customer Reviews

Boyology: A Teen Girl's Crash Course in All Things Boy

5 star:		(14)
4 star:		(15)
3 star:		(10)
2 star:		(3)
1 star:		(2)

 

 

Just like the title says, BOYOLOGY is a "crash course," although it's more of a crash course in dating, rather than boys in general. For instance, if you want to know what a "safety" is in football so you can have a conversation with your brother on a Sunday afternoon, then this book is not what you're looking for. However, if you want to figure out whether your brother's friend is flirting with you while you're all watching Sunday afternoon football, then this is the book for you.

Before we go any further, I must offer a clarification: Where I'm from, teenage males are not referred to as "boys." They are "guys." For me, the word "boy" conjures up images of dimpled 5-year-olds with gaps where their front teeth should be. The only people around here who call teenagers "boys" are school principals. This is doubtless just a regional difference, so if you're from Chicago like I am, just mentally substitute the word "guy" for "boy" when you're reading BOYOLOGY (i.e. GUYOLOGY). Please don't let that little objection turn you off from this book, because it has a lot of good advice to offer about boys or guys or whatever you call them.

BOYOLOGY contains a great deal of useful information for teenage girls who are trying to find their way around the confusing world of crushes and dating. While much of the advice might be things you have heard before in one form or another, it's nice to have it reinforced by a neutral third-party (i.e. someone who's not your mom or your minister). For instance, the book tells girls to be themselves and establish their physical boundaries before things get hot and heavy. There are also plenty of things that you probably haven't heard before, including fun date ideas for couples or groups, step-by-step instructions on how to kiss, and a quiz to see if you're a good date or not.

The book is optimistic, by which I mean that it spends relatively little time on the "What if he's not into you?" scenarios, and many more pages on successful flirting, dating, and becoming a couple. The author balances her approach by offering not only the fun side of dating, but also worthwhile safety information. She points out the importance of letting your parents know if you're "seeing" someone online, as well as how to avoid and, if necessary, deal with sexual assault. I recommend her tip on taking a minute to program a taxi service phone number into your cell phone so you can always get home safely. The book even has a chapter at the end about breaking up. You might never need tips on maintaining your dignity when running into the ex and his new girlfriend, but when you do need them, they're worth their weight in gold.

The book doesn't just offer the author's perspective. It has words of wisdom from celebrities, like Daniel Radcliffe and Zac Efron, and it provides advice from actual teenagers (lots of them boys/guys) who have "been there, done that." Even the author's husband (who used to be a boy/guy) chimes in from time to time.

About the only problem I ran across in BOYOLOGY is the same problem that other books like this can't really avoid. Books that rely on current culture become outdated quickly. There is so much time between when a book is written and when it's finally released, that there's no way for authors to be up-to-date on fads and popular expressions. For instance, this book discusses texting, but there's no mention of Twitter. It mentions MySpace, but not Facebook. In fact, this review itself will be outdated in a few months because Twitter and Facebook will probably have been replaced by something new. Other than that minor complaint, this is an interesting and useful book for teenage girls. The advice is pretty timeless and the celebrity quotes are an interesting addition.

So my advice is: Pick up a copy, have fun, and good luck out there!

Reviewed by: K. Osborn Sullivan

As an experienced wife and mother, I was interested to see what advice a current author would be offering America's youth. Had things changed since I'd read Seventeen (and Vampirella)? Human nature being what it, by definition, is -- no, things haven't changed much. Boys and girls are *both* clueless about each other .... but they are oh so interested!

I thoroughly enjoyed reading the other reviews of this book. Many are thrilled with the book's friendly, sound advice and have received good feedback about it from girls, but a few are concerned that the advice is not cautious enough, or even that it encourages behavior that a girl may not be ready for. For those few I would say: definitely don't give this book to any girl who isn't ready for these issues. I'd also make the point that at some point all kids will become twitterpated. That, too, is human nature. And I'd say this book is a fine, readable conversation starter for parents and kids, or a pajama party giggle book. It's just the kind of stuff that fuels a thousand huddled discussions and notes and surveys and tweets. It's what girls want to talk about and, as an ex-girl, I thought the advice was sound, presented in a friendly way, and more appealing for its being peppered with celebrity quotes and anecdotes from the author and her acquaintances. Much more wholesome than some of the teen magazine articles I remember, too!

Chapter 1, B-O-Y Basics, sets the tone and offers up some universal advice such as: boys don't like shopping, they "don't notice all the flaws you see in yourself", and are just as puzzled as you. Some of the advice throughout the book focuses on girls -- who you are and what you want in a guy; other advice looks more intently at the guys themselves -- what "breed" they are, so to speak, as discussed in the second chapter. I didn't think this was offensive, offering eight types that a television producer would recognize -- tortured artist, hip-hopper, tech-tilian, for example, with each described by a celebrity look-alike, his future career, favorite movie, etc. Girls love this stuff!

Chapter 3 advises girls on how to act around guys. I wish I'd had a book like this! I think tween girls will find this very useful.

Chapter 4 discusses dating: first dates, mix tapes, places to go (baking at home, volunteering, dinner & a movie, bowling -- all fine ideas), paying, kissing, things that can go wrong, group dates, e-friends. (Yes, the author says that after a few months of emailing, it might be time to talk on the phone. That sets every parent's hair ahackle, but denying the temptation to a girl won't make it go away. The author also says that the girl should get the guy's number, not give out her own, that her parents should be in on this relationship from the beginning, and that a parent should accompany her to a first meeting in a public place. I think that all makes sense.)

Chapter 5, on love and relationships, talks about having a good relationship with a boyfriend, and offers affirmational tips on being yourself. The next chapter, Setting Your Boundaries, refers vaguely to "hooking up" but does not offer specifics, and does discuss assault and rape. This book does not discuss explicit acts, birth control or STDs, which makes it less valuable as a guide for young women, but it contains adequate material, one hopes, for teenage girls.

Chapter 7 is about the other people in your life, the ones that aren't boys -- friends, parents, etc. Chapter 8, Boy Friend Vs. Boyfriend, does a good job of helping tell the difference, and the last two chapters, on breaking up and dealing with an ex-boyfriend, treat emotional issues with respect and even offer a couple of getting-over-him formulae, a nice way to look beyond one's despair.

As others have mentioned, the book can't keep up with our breakneck technology, but the principles can be applied to whatever's on the horizon. This is a friendly discussion starter for girls, families and even boys. I deem the advice to be decent and sound, appropriate for tweens and young teens.

"Boyology" is smart and funny book that deals with most of the early questions girls in their early teen years will have about boys. And given that, I probably ought to explain that I'm an old married lady, and that I requested "Boyology" from Amazon's Vine Early Reviewer program because I have a 9 y.o. daughter and I am already freaking out, even at this early date, about the whole dating scene. So that's why I read it, and that what drives my perspective in this review.

Now as for my take, I thought Sarah Burningham did a fantastic job keeping the tone light, while at the same time providing savvy advice. Part of the way she did that was to include quotes from both boy and girl teens, as well as her husband. That way the perspective wasn't just from girls and women, but guys too.

I'll give you a list of Chapter headings shortly, but let me tell you about some of the topics Sarah Covers. First off she covers some basics, like the fact that most boys don't want people to disrepect their friends, and that it's in their nature not to see the defects in you that you see yourself. She then goes on to do something I don't particular like, and that is to put boys in categories, like "The Hip-Hopper" or the "The Tech-tilian". But despite that fact, I can't really complain, because this approach leads ultimately to the book's suggesting that girls date a variety of boys, the process of elimination, and then try to figure out what traits they ultimately want in a man... way down the line.

After that, there's quite a bit of talk about the art of flirting. Sarah goes into discussing dating, types of dates, date suggestions, and ultimately styles of kissing. From there, there is talk about melding the boy into your life: with your friends, your parents, his parents, etc.

Finally, there's sections about breaking up, recovery, and what to do with abusive situations, and potentially dangerous situations.

Chapters Covered

B-O-Y Basics
What Breed is Your Boyfriend
I You: When You're Head-Over-Heels in Like
The Firsts of First Dates: And the Rest of the Dating Game
The Heart of the Matter: Love and Relationships
You Wear the Pants: Setting Your Boundaries
Outside Forces: Friends, Parents and Other FActors
Boy Friend vs. Boyfriend
Breaking Up is Hard to Do
Getting Back in the Game

Conclusion
Acknowledgments
Credits
Index

Talking Points:::
"Boyology" takes a smart but calculatingly light approach to the subject of relationships. The author covers a wide variety of topics; everything from flirting to drawing boundaries, to breaking up.

I liked that Sarah worked hard to differentiate the fact that at that age boys have a decidedly different perspective on relationships than girls. I also like that her basic approach was 'conservative'. (They get enough of the other sort of message from the media.)

Because the book did not delve into the topic of 'advanced physical relationships' in any detail, I would have to say that the target audience is primarily middle school aged children; though certainly there is something for older teens to learn as well.

I thought the section about setting boundaries was particularly useful, as was the intelligent conversation about how it is abnormal for a boy or man to try to dominate you. Particularly brilliant was her approach to younger girls being asked out by older guys. In fact, I don't believe I've ever heard a more appropriate and clever analogy.

The format was lively, with drawings, tests, and conversation boxes.

Overall, a very good book for the right audience. Recommend this one for mom's and dad's as a conversation starter.

Pam T~
mom and review at my blog
(1056)

Human males are confusing to 80 year old women, much less teens! But teen girls need help especially, in order to successfully navigate the world of boys without losing all sense of self esteem. How does one explain why a 15 year old boy would rather wash his car than hang with you on a sunny Saturday? Unfortunately, there is not a lot of male psychology involved in this book. Some basic psych-male-makeup would have been helpful. There's plenty of good advice, all presented in highly readable ways, especially the quotes which pepper the book, from teen girls and boys, as well as current celebs.

What I liked the best was the author's insistence that "hook-ups don't lead to boyfriends!" There are a few pages on creating physical boundaries, as well as resources for girls who have been raped.

There is a helpful talk on creating a balance between friends and loves. Also helpful is the issue of the chasm between your bff's and your bf; what if they don't like him, and conversely, does one of your girlfriends like him and want you out of the picture!

Most importantly, the book stresses how girls should conduct themselves, regardless of boys' behaviors, including those behaviors that a girl should never put up with!

Along with this book, I would recommend that girls read a book on the differences - physiological and psychological - between males and females in general.

Though more of a TWEEN than a teen, I purchased this for my daughter. Anything to help her avoid, or at least be prepared for, boys like I was when I was a teenager.

She didnt want the book, even got embarrassed about it. Swears she isnt reading it. Yet, SOMEHOW, it keeps winding up on her bed where she leaves whatever book she is reading after school.

She even started asking me about some of the subject in the book, for my input on the issue. NOT BECAUSE OF THE BOOK, just because she is curious. Its pretty funny.

While your daughter may not like the idea of you buying her this book, trust me, she will read it. While it may be a little cheesy or goofy at times, remember, it was written for girls, not their parents. As long as they take even a small amount of useful information out of it, it is a success.

Boyology is a lovely book with engaging cover art as well as funny illustrations, font changes, colored pages and line drawings by Keri Smith. It's the type of book you like to cuddle up with - full of fun art and fun to read. It's written in a very upbeat, teen-friendly style - chatty and conversational - just like our house on the weekend! It also has advice from other teens as well as celebrities - which is scattered here and there throughout the book. There is a wonderfully straightforward chapter on setting boundaries - which just about anyone could derive some benefit. It's a relevent topic for all teen and pre-teen kids, and it is sure to give girls the extra boost, if they need it, to be able to say "no" to boys (and maybe anyone else where it's appropriate).


It's recommended for middle school and high school girls, and topics such as how to tell whether a boy likes you and how to break up and move on are covered. There's also a fun quiz, and a chart to help girls figure out if the boy you like is a friend, or possibly a boyfriend. Boyology seems to be more for those mysterious middle school ages where boys and girls are discovering each other, and sometimes are a little afraid of each other. I'm having our 12 year old son read it - so he'll know he isn't the only one going through the boy/girls thing - where the opposite sex is so confusing they seem almost like they're from another planet!

This attractive book will appeal to young teenage girls just beginning to date. Its flip tone and irreverent attitude makes it seem like a young girl has written the book herself, or at least that author Sarah O'Leary Burningham was trying to talk to girls as one of them. She is mostly successful, although the breathless girlfriend talk sometimes seems a little forced ("It's just you and Mr. Hottie!")

Funny cartoons by Keri Smith are sprinkled throughout the book. They illustrate everything from different types of guys to how to kiss.

The book is most successful when it gets serious. A segment on sexual assault, rape and protecting yourself has good guidance.

Here's the chapter list:

Introduction: Welcome to the Wonderful World of Boys
1. B-O-Y Basics
2. What Breed is Your Boyfriend?
3. I (Heart) You: When You're Head-Over-Heels in Like
4. The Firsts of First Dates: And the Rest of the Dating Game
5. The Heart of the Matter: Love and Relationships
6. You Wear the Pants: Setting Your Boundaries
7. Outside Forces: Friends, Parents and Other Factors
8. Boy Friend vs. Boyfriend
9. Breaking Up is Hard to Do
10. Getting Back in the Game

A decent book for an adolescent teen to help answer questions about the opposite sex.
It helps fill in the blank if you are a parent of a teen.

I gave this book to a 12 year old as a gift and she seemed to like it. It has a nice format, with pink and purple sections throughout the book. There are some silly parts, such as categorization of guys into stereotypes like the tortured artist, the metrosexual and Mr. President. Other parts are more helpful, such as a primer on kissing and a good section on setting boundaries and saying no. It maintains a light, easy to read tone throughout and the overall message encourages less makeup and fashion, more confidence, and more being yourself. I'd suggest it for pre-teens as a light-hearted introduction to dating.

My tween daughter and I both read Sarah O'Leary Burningham's charming "Boyology" with great interest - she to get a jump on the strange species known as boy, me to make sure things didn't get too...Teen Cosmo. I am happy to report that Sarah seems to walk the perfect line between teen-speak and solid advice, on topics as diverse as Boy Friends vs. Boyfriends, Setting Boundaries (with boys, and your gal pals), how to handle outside influences (like parents), and the ABC's of Boy Basics. Sarah's style is casual girlfriend to girlfriend without ever seeming condescending or dopey (no mean feat, I might add). She adds fun side-bars like Celebrity Shout-Outs, utilizing quotes from celebrities (male and female) about dating, the opposite sex, and what's really important in a relationship. Sarah's good-sport husband Grant also offers words of wisdom from a guy's perspective. All in all a good, basic, teen-friendly guide to boys for the teen or tween girl looking for easy to absorb advice.