The Boys Are Back (Movie Tie-in Edition (Vintage) [Paperback]

Simon Carr (Author)

Book Description

Series: Vintage | Publication Date: September 1, 2009

After his wife's death, Simon Carr was left with the task of raising their two young boys alone. Moving yet humorous, it tells the story of Carr's relatively rule-free household, recounting his successes and his failures as a parent, and acting as a guide for those dealing with grief and parenting hand-in-hand.

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Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review

Book Description
"So there we are, a father and two sons in a household without role models, males together in a home different from anything I'd known--an idyllic Lost Boys' world with a house full of children and as few rules as possible."

When Simon Carr's wife Susie lost her battle to cancer, Carr was left to raise his 5-year old son, Alexander, on his own. Soon after, Hugo, his 11-year old son from a previous marriage comes to live with them. Now, this motley crew of boys have to learn how to be a family. Along the way, Carr reveals some illuminating truths about parenting and the differences between mothers and fathers. His messy household bears no similarity to the immaculate home his wife kept; his response to mothers on the playground fretting about his son's safety on the handlebars is, "If he falls, at least he'll know not to do it again." Emotionally honest and sharply witty, Carr's story is at once heartbreaking and wonderfully life-affirming.

The Boys Are Back is now a major motion picture (releasing in September 2009) starring Clive Owen. Enjoy these images from the film, and click the thumbnails to see larger images.

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Review

"Carr's brilliantly written account of life as a single parent should become a required manual on parenting." —Sunday Times

"Achingly funny and almost unbearably moving." —Daily Mail

"Compulsive." —Guardian

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Product Details

• Paperback: 240 pages
• Publisher: Vintage; Mti edition (September 1, 2009)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0307476278
• ISBN-13: 978-0307476272
• Product Dimensions: 5.1 x 0.6 x 8 inches
• Shipping Weight: 9.1 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (5 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,325,393 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

11 of 11 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Heartfelt and honest memoir of learning to raise boys as a father rather than as a substitute mother., September 8, 2009

By 

Steven "BookDads.com" - See all my reviews

This review is from: The Boys Are Back (Movie Tie-in Edition (Vintage) (Paperback)

The Boys Are Back (Movie Tie-in Edition (Vintage)

Are fathers the same as mothers? This is the central question that underlies Simon Carr's heartfelt and searingly honest memoir, The Boys Are Back (also made into a motion picture). Carr's answer to this question is a resounding "No!" as he recounts his adventures as a single widowed father of his five-year-old son Alexander. Most of the story takes place after Simon's second wife has died from cancer, and he is left on his own to raise their son. Their family then becomes bigger when his eleven-year-old son Hugo from his previous marriage comes to live with them as well. The challenges of being a single father become further complicated by Simon's bereavement, Alexander's grief over his lost mother, and Hugo's struggles with finding a place in his divorced family. Throughout, Simon drifts back and forth in time to recount his experiences as a father to his sons both in and out of his marriages.
Much of The Boys Are Back concerns Carr's take on how to parent as a father rather than as a mother, and it's an issue that he takes head on. His wife was the primary caregiver prior to her death, and after she is gone Simon has to learn how to connect with his son. He discovers that he has to do so as Alexander's father instead of as a substitute mother, and that he has to allow his son to be a little boy. In the absence of his wife's influence - and staunchly resisting the well-meaning advice of "mommy culture" that descends on him from other mothers, grandmothers, and the like - Simon develops his own approach to raising a boy. This means lots of physical activity and physical contact. It means setting a few unbreakable ground rules and letting everything else go. It means saying yes whenever possible instead of automatically saying no. It means a house where a boy can dress himself by pulling clothes right off the clothesline, ride his bike inside if he is careful and there's no good reason not to, and play raucous games of King of the Bed with his father.

To some extent Carr puts too much emphasis on the differences between men and women, ignoring greater differences in personality (such as between his first and second wives) and the experiences of same-gender couples. Yet he certainly points out many real differences in attitudes and approaches to parenting between mothers and fathers that most people are too polite to talk openly about. And although his ideas about fathering may sound radical or even crazy, they are ultimately affirming of not only fathers and men, but of boys as well. Carr could have easily written a propagandizing, ten-step tome explicating his philosophy. Instead, by sharing his own experiences with warmth and honesty, he makes reading this book feel as comfortable and genuine as chatting and sharing advice with another parent at a playdate or Little League game.

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful:

3.0 out of 5 stars Sporatic, But Insightful, April 4, 2010

By 

Norman R. Bishop "Rand Bishop, author, Makin'... (Nashville, TN) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: The Boys Are Back (Movie Tie-in Edition (Vintage) (Paperback)

Having seen a very effective trailer for the movie based on this book, I was eager to read The Boys are Back in advance of the film's release. After finishing the book, I found it difficult to visualize it as a feature film and, quite honestly, I was puzzled as to what any studio or producer might possibly have seen in its meandering story line to justify the investment of talent and resources.

While as disheveled and unsure as the author who wrote it, Simon Carr's memoir is a tender and enlightening observation from the POV of a widowed father of boys. Vulnerable, yet entirely unsentimental, the story is revealed in dribs and drabs, requiring the reader to read between nearly every line for a thread of context. The characters are seldom introduced or described as much as they are thrown into circumstances to which they respond, scenarios the reader is left to reconstruct. Still, at its heart, The Boys are Back amounts to inventive and courageous writing by a man trying to cope as best he can with being left to raise two complicated male offspring in a very complicated world.

Rand Bishop, author of Makin' Stuff Up, The Absolute Essentials of Songwriting Success, and Grand Pop.

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars charming and insightful memoir, October 9, 2009

By 

Nelson Aspen "Author/Journalist" (Los Angeles & NYC, USA) - See all my reviews

This review is from: The Boys Are Back (Movie Tie-in Edition (Vintage) (Paperback)

I was thoroughly impressed with Mr Carr's self-insight, candor and literary style. Certainly a flawed fellow, as he's the first to admit, but with more than enough tender honesty to counter whatever parenting missteps he makes. This is not just a nifty little novel...it's actually a very deep, emotional look at what makes a father...a mother...exploring the complicated and wonderful relationships between a parent and a child.

It's a breathtaking book. Every parent and/or child should give it a read.