Customer Reviews

Breaking the Code: Two Teens Reveal The Secrets To Better Parent-Child Communication

5 star:		(8)
4 star:		(3)
3 star:		(1)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(1)

 

 

As a former family therapist and parent of two teenage boys, I found Breaking the Code to be a refreshing approach to communicating with teens. You have a rare opportunity to glean the insights of two bright, perceptive, and sensitive teens. They are truly wise beyond their 16 years! The book is written in a clear and concise manner, with each chapter addressing different topics ranging from privacy to curfews to drugs to dressing and more! I especially liked how they recount numerous real life examples of everyday conversations and confrontations and give you the opportunity to reexamine them with the benefit of a teen's point of view. There is no doubt in my mind that you will see yourself in many of the scenarios. The book is far from one sided and in fact does give insight into the trials and tribulations that a teenager experiences in needing to have limits set on one hand, while desiring the independence to develop their own identity on the other.

Each of us struggles in trying to keep the lines of communication open during this difficult period of adolescence. One cannot help but garner many useful ideas that could be put to immediate practical use. I know I did. It is a resource for not only parents but also teachers and therapists and yes, even teens themselves! Just ask my son. I cannot imagine why such an exciting book has not come along sooner. Lara Fox and Hilary Frankel are two extraordinary girls who have shared a gift with us all...don't miss it!

After reading this book and gifting it to a friend of mine, I couldn't help but wish my own parents had had access to something like this when I was young. These two shockingly insightful and amazingly mature young girls give a very organized and factual account of how to deal with your teen, along with some much-needed interpretations on what your teen is truly thinking and feeling. Not only does it remind you of your own angst-filled days as a teenager, but it lends helpful advice to any parent struggling to get through that hard transition time when your child is no longer a "child" but not quite ready to leave the nest. I recommend this to ANY parent with teenagers of his/her own.

Breaking the code is a must read for all parents who wish to communicate with their children in a whole new way. A very intuitve and innovative approach to take when dealing with issues in your teen's life.
I have found this book to be a bible for me and can't imagine life without it.
Thank you Lara and Hillary for teaching us what to say and how to say it, It really makes a world of difference. I applaude you both.

Okay, this book would probably get a "four star" review, but I'm so impressed that two high school girls wrote it, I can't help myself. This book is surprisingly thorough in the different scenarios it plays out.

My only complaint is that the situations and remedies are sometimes absurdly "pro-teen." For example, teenagers are dreadfully insulting to their parents in the sample dialogues, calling them "bitch" or "psycho" routinely, and the authors (amazingly!) advise softballing these problems so they don't get worse.

Other than that, nicely done, ladies.

Breaking the code is the only book to give a parent an honest look into what their teen is thinking and feeling--and alternative ways to communicate. Writing straightforwardly and honestly from their own experiences and those of their friends, Lara and Hillary provide a wealth of insight that will help parents re-think how they talk to their teens and understand how what they are saying is really being heard.
invaluable advice for teens adn their parents and a fun read! i highly recommend this book!

Both my daughter, age 13 and I read this book and agree that it helps us to communicate with each other. The book is "right on" as she puts it. It helps us to not sweat the small stuff and to deal with the issues that we have been having problems with. We have a good and strong relationship which this book is helping to make even stronger. I encourage parents with kids of the teen years to read. I am an professional who deals with teens and find this book very helpful. I have told many friends and patients about this book.

I have to admit to only being halfway through the book, however, I do like it. The only complaint that I have is this. The stories and examples the girls use in the book show teens to be extremely disrespectful. Not just a little, but a whole lot. I thumbed through the remainder of the book and saw nothing that addresses this. Disrespect is a sensitive issue in my family. My husband and I have a very low tolerance for it. I absolutely cannot see my husband "obeying" ANY child/young adult/teen when they yell "get out of my room" to him. And I don't disagree with him. There has to be a line somewhere. I think that the book gives some great advice and definately helps parents see things from the teen point of view and get the "bigger picture". But like I said, I wish the disrespect issue had been mentioned or explored more.

While it's good to see a teenager's side of situations and conversations, this book was pretty one-sided. This book addresses what a parent should say and how they should say it in order not to upset the teenager. When I was done with reading it, while getting some good pointers, I felt as though I would have to walk on eggshells with everything I said to my teen AND if they called me a "bitch" or a "psycho" I would have to ignore that and ask myself why I incited them or brought on this disrespect. Read this with a grain of salt, knowing that two high school teenagers wrote it. I commend them though for taking the tremendous amount of time and work to write this book. I just wish it would've addressed BOTH sides of the issue!

The authors of this book are insightful women ,who are to be commended for their frank insight into communication.

I bought this book for my sister, who has 2 young children. I know she is going to use it as her bible as her girls grow up.

When your teen mumbles something rude under his or her breath while walking away, the authors advise you to let it go "for the moment." Wait and make the point (just one at a time, please) when you are both calmer. Chances are, you will be heard and get a real apology, not a perfunctory one. If you have to have the last word in a situation where defenses are up, you and your teen will be doing the verbal equivalent of rolling around on the floor pulling each other's hair. Self-control and reasonableness can be taught by example better than by force.