Enter your mobile number or email address below and we'll send you a link to download the free Kindle App. Then you can start reading Kindle books on your smartphone, tablet, or computer - no Kindle device required.

  • Apple
  • Android
  • Windows Phone
  • Android

To get the free app, enter your email address or mobile phone number.

Breaking the Cycle of Abuse: How to Move Beyond Your Past to Create an Abuse-Free Future 1st Edition

4.7 out of 5 stars 12 customer reviews
ISBN-13: 978-0471740599
ISBN-10: 0471740594
Why is ISBN important?
ISBN
This bar-code number lets you verify that you're getting exactly the right version or edition of a book. The 13-digit and 10-digit formats both work.
Scan an ISBN with your phone
Use the Amazon App to scan ISBNs and compare prices.
Have one to sell? Sell on Amazon
Buy used On clicking this link, a new layer will be open
$13.74 On clicking this link, a new layer will be open
Buy new On clicking this link, a new layer will be open
$15.47 On clicking this link, a new layer will be open
More Buying Choices
51 New from $7.13 58 Used from $0.91
Free Two-Day Shipping for College Students with Amazon Student Free%20Two-Day%20Shipping%20for%20College%20Students%20with%20Amazon%20Student


Best Books of the Month
See the Best Books of the Month
Want to know our Editors' picks for the best books of the month? Browse Best Books of the Month, featuring our favorite new books in more than a dozen categories.
$15.47 FREE Shipping on orders with at least $25 of books. In Stock. Ships from and sold by Amazon.com. Gift-wrap available.
click to open popover

Frequently Bought Together

  • Breaking the Cycle of Abuse: How to Move Beyond Your Past to Create an Abuse-Free Future
  • +
  • Setting Yourself Free :Breaking the Cycle of Emtional Abuse in Family, Friendships, Work and Love
Total price: $30.04
Buy the selected items together

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

According to Engel, "in the past twenty-five years studies on abuse and family assaults strongly suggest that abused children become abusers themselves," yet victims often don’t receive any treatment until their repetition of the abuse is already underway. In this clear, empathetic self-help book, Engel aims to stop that cycle by teaching readers to remember the past truthfully, to identify and manage their emotions, and to recognize the characteristics of abusive relationships. An experienced psychotherapist and prolific author (The Emotionally Abused Woman; Loving Him without Losing You, etc.), Engel is also an abuse survivor herself. Her attitude towards her readers is gentle and understanding; she clearly knows firsthand how difficult victim and abuser patterns are to break. Readers are expected to perform a good deal of homework aiming at self-discovery: answering simple questions, writing down their memories, tracing family patterns, etc. Some may argue that Engel presents the most crucial advice—what to do if you’ve already become abusive—too late in volume, by which point an abuser may have dropped the book. But the middle chapters—on shame and its manifestations, on anger, sorrow and fear—are some of the best, especially when Engel delves into the effects of physical, sexual and emotional abuse on children. Though she deals thoroughly with the psychology of victims, Engel concentrates far more than in her earlier books on trying to reach violent and sexual offenders. Violation begets violation, she says. Parental attitudes and behavior, be they cruel, indifferent or supportive, are passed on to later generations. This book is an excellent choice for readers who come from an abusive past and are struggling to make a brighter future for themselves and their families.
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved. --This text refers to the Hardcover edition.

Review

.".. an excellent choice for readers who come from an abusive past and are struggling to make a brighter future." ("Publishers Weekly Annex on-line, November 15, 2004)

According to Engel, "in the past twenty-five years studies on abuse and family assaults strongly suggest that abused children become abusers themselves," yet victims often don't receive any treatment until their repetition of the abuse is already underway. In this clear, empathetic self-help book, Engel aims to stop that cycle by teaching readers to remember the past truthfully, to identify and manage their emotions, and to recognize the characteristics of abusive relationships. An experienced psychotherapist and prolific author (The Emotionally Abused Woman; Loving Him without Losing You, etc.), Engel is also an abuse survivor herself. Her attitude towards her readers is gentle and understanding; she clearly knows firsthand how difficult victim and abuser patterns are to break. Readers are expected to perform a good deal of homework aiming at self-discovery: answering simple questions, writing down their memories, tracing family patterns, etc. Some may argue that Engel presents the most crucial advice--what to do if you've already become abusive--too late in volume, by which point an abuser may have dropped the book. But the middle chapters--on shame and its manifestations, on anger, sorrow and fear--are some of the best, especially when Engel delves into the effects of physical, sexual and emotional abuse on children. Though she deals thoroughly with the psychology of victims, Engel concentrates far more than in her earlier books on trying to reach violent and sexual offenders. Violation begets violation, she says. Parental attitudes and behavior, be they cruel, indifferent or supportive, are passed on to later generations. This book is an excellent choice for readers who come from anabusive past and are struggling to make a brighter future for themselves and their families. ("Publishers Weekly Annex on-line, November 15, 2004)
If you buy a new print edition of this book (or purchased one in the past), you can buy the Kindle edition for only $1.99 (Save 82%). Print edition purchase must be sold by Amazon. Learn more.
For thousands of qualifying books, your past, present, and future print-edition purchases now lets you buy the Kindle edition for $2.99 or less. (Textbooks available for $9.99 or less.)
  • Thousands of books are eligible, including current and former best sellers.
  • Look for the Kindle MatchBook icon on print and Kindle book detail pages of qualifying books. You can also see more Kindle MatchBook titles here or look up all of your Kindle MatchBook titles here.
  • Read the Kindle edition on any Kindle device or with a free Kindle Reading App.
  • Print edition must be purchased new and sold by Amazon.com.
  • Gifting of the Kindle edition at the Kindle MatchBook price is not available.
Learn more about Kindle MatchBook.



Product Details

  • Paperback: 288 pages
  • Publisher: Wiley; 1 edition (December 2, 2005)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0471740594
  • ISBN-13: 978-0471740599
  • Product Dimensions: 6.1 x 0.8 x 9.2 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 1.2 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (12 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #341,798 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Top Customer Reviews

Format: Paperback
This book very thoroughly explains what constitues abuse, the effects and what to do about it once you are an adult. Beverly Engel has a way of presenting the truth without glossing it over but without leaving the reader feeling like he or she is powerless to change the future. This book explains how the cycle of abuse continues from generation to generation and gives concrete things that you can do to get off the victim/aggressor merry-go-round. Extremely insightful and thorough.
Comment 13 people found this helpful. Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again
Report abuse
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
This is a good companion book after reading "Toxic Parents" and "Mothers Who Can't Love" both by Dr. Susan Forward first. The reason why I am recommending these books first is because Dr. Forward's books are more IMHO compassionate. They help you acknowledge the abuse, get out of denial, and teach you how to deal with the rightful anger, pain and grief that occurred due to childhood abuse etc. Once you've done these things, then you are ready for the next step which is this book. This is more advanced whereas "Toxic Parents" and "Mothers Who Can't Love"are for building the foundation desperately needed in the first place and to break the ice and to begin breaking the chains of abuse and to break the cycle of abuse.
Comment 3 people found this helpful. Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again
Report abuse
Format: Hardcover Verified Purchase
Unfortunately, the abusers are so busy with denial they won't even consider reading this book.

It is a good book for our older children. They will most likely become either an abuser or a target of abuse. That's the way this insidious problem works. After reading this book which I thought was very good, I passed it along to my daughter. Hopefully when she's finished, my second daughter will read it... then (with a prayer) my son may read it also. They are all young adults.

If any one thing about abuse can devastate a woman beyond all others, it is the fact that her children are likely to follow the pattern of one or both parents, or vacillate between the two. Perhaps if they are aware of it, they may stop the denial long enough to see and understand the hell their abusive parent has brought upon the whole family -- and break the cycle of abuse. It's not a "daddy bashing" book and it is for adults. But maybe, just maybe it will help everyone be aware that they must set and enforce boundaries and respect other people's boundaries.
Comment 5 people found this helpful. Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again
Report abuse
By Gina on October 30, 2013
Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
This book was so amazing! It broke things out in a way I'd never thought of and really had you work through things with great exercises. I've recommended it to at least 3 people and bought it for one person. I'll read it again!
Comment 2 people found this helpful. Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again
Report abuse
Format: Paperback
Even at age 60 I continue to learn about the impact of intergenerational abuse infecting my family. Engel, a survivor of abuse herself, describes the various abuses and abusers, the impact on the victim, and suggests methods to counter the negative. Abusers are all around us, even the US Missile Defense Department. My unfortunate newphew's father describes him as a "bum who did nothing and emotionally abused her (girlfriend)" and is mystified by the adult child's behavior. The book unveils the secrets that perpetuate this behavior and how it goes unchecked.
Comment 11 people found this helpful. Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again
Report abuse
Format: Paperback
The author goes into great detail about childhood experiences which may lead to one becoming an adult abuser/victim, helping you to heal from your own experiences of child abuse, preventing abusing others (i.e. partners, kids, etc.) and what to do if you have already abused others. She lets you know that you are not at fault for what happned to you as a child, but as an adult you need to do the hard work required to heal.

She also discusses at length denial, fear, anger, etc. which plays a role in abuse.

Overall, a great book for those who have either been abused and/or have hurt or afraid they may hurt others in the future.
Comment Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again
Report abuse

Set up an Amazon Giveaway

Breaking the Cycle of Abuse: How to Move Beyond Your Past to Create an Abuse-Free Future
Amazon Giveaway allows you to run promotional giveaways in order to create buzz, reward your audience, and attract new followers and customers. Learn more
This item: Breaking the Cycle of Abuse: How to Move Beyond Your Past to Create an Abuse-Free Future

Pages with Related Products. See and discover other items: conflict