Customer Reviews

Breaking the Cycle of Divorce: How Your Marriage Can Succeed Even if Your Parents' Didn't

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In Breaking the Cycle of Divorce, author John Trent drives a hard bargain with adult children of divorce (ACOD) by stating that they will continue under the curse of divorce unless they choose to break through to a fresh start. A product of a broken home himself, Trent pleads with ACOD's to break this cyclical pattern, and he shows them how to go about it.

The author defines the curse of divorce as a stream that's been dammed up, cutting off the flow of "love, support, and good modeling of a healthy marriage." Besides pointing out twelve negative manifestations of this curse, Trent also delivers the good news of how to reverse the cycle. "You can pick a different outcome and make it your reality," he insists.

As President of the Center for Strong Families, Dr. John Trent is dedicated to helping many emotionally injured people to break free from the devastation of divorce. He leaves the reader virtually no space to wonder if it's worth the effort. "Well, I'm living proof that...you do so...for your children, your grandchildren, and generations even in the distant future."

The needling questions at the end of each chapter may benefit readers beyond ACOD's who have other destructive patterns to overcome. Some may find Trent's textbook-approach a little cut and dried, but his truth and warmth definitely come through as well. He doesn't sugarcoat the challenge of overcoming one's past, but he also makes the reader feel that with Trent as a coach, and with prayer and trust in God, one can triumph. - Cheryl A. Cecil, Christian Book Previews.com

Anyone whose parents have been divorced and is interested in a relationship themselves should read this book.
Anyone who loves someone whose parents have been divorced should read this book.
Anyone who wishes their parents had gotten a divorce (and lived with the fighting and yelling all their lives) should read this book.

I just wish I'd bought the book sooner.

Great book by a well known and respected Christian author on the topic of breaking the cycle of divorce when your family of origin was divorced. Trent knows what he is talking about since he was a product of divorce and has built a solid and long lasting marriage. He describes why it is more likely for a child of divorce to also divorce. Easy to read and lots to apply. Certainly a topic of grave importance to the Christians and non-Christians alike.

This is a good book not just for children of divorce but for marital partners of divorce to avoid failure in their next marriage.

"...studies have discovered that adult children of divorce are far more likely to get divorced themselves..." ~ pg. 4

Let's just face it, being married is difficult even for those who's parents didn't get a divorce. If your parents are divorced then it is even more important to plan to win so you don't fail. John Trent believes that if your parents divorced then you have to break the curse so you can stay married.

He discusses unhealthy family secrets, false guilt (feeling responsible for parent's divorce), making poor choices and anger. He also discusses the importance of coaching and finding a good marriage model. Also he believes that God can work miracles. I've seen miracles happen in my own family. One family member commented that only God could put one of my relatives marriages back together and He has.

So what if you are reading this book and you are already divorced? Well there is still hope because many people do succeed at their second or third marriage. I think this is due to finally learning the secrets of what it takes to make a marriage work. This book has some clues. I hope you will read this book to make your marriage stronger or take the advice seriously if you are considering marriage for the second or third time.

My own personal advice is to read a lot of relationship books. One of the reasons I'm still married is because I read a lot of marriage books. Click through to my profile to see my "marriage tag list." On that list you will find many books that will help you develop a strong commitment to your marriage. Also many problems will be solved because of the solutions these books provide.

~The Rebecca Review

There is very little literature for adult children of divorce in dealing with their grief. And their is even less literature to help those people succeed in their own marriages. I come from parents that have both been divorced twice and grandparents who have also been married and divorced multiple times.
I am in a long-term relationship headed toward marriage, and I am desperate to succeed where my parents have failed and to have a long, happy marriage, and to never inflict the kind of pain on my own children that my parents divorces have inflicted upon me. And that is why I bought this book.
I, however, was very disappointed. The pain that children of divorce feel is very real and this book is poorly written and is cheesy. Simply having a Ph.D. does not make one capable of writing a book. I was looking for something that really delved into the emotional issues that cause children of divorce to subsequently divorce themselves and also practical, real solutions and techniques to avoid divorce and have a lasting marriage.
What Trent offers are short, cute anecdotal stories about his own life, complete with a moral at the end, tied up in a ribbon. This book lacks the substance that I have been searching for.
The book's description also fails to mention that this book is written from a very Christian perspective. I found this to be very off-putting. I am not a Christian, and really you must be to benefit from this book because it is written in a way that suggests that God is the only one who can help you heal and create a lasting marriage.
I was also put-off by some of Trent's declarations about relationships. He concludes that living together before marriage is a huge mistake to be avoided. That is a fine opinion, however it is not helpful to those already living with their partner before marriage because Trent is telling them that it will not work. So already, a group of people is excluded from receiving help.
In my opinion, this man is not qualified to be writing this kind of book. For those of you out there searching for the kind of book that I still am, avoid wasting your money and keep searching for the book that will heal and help you. Trust me, it is not this book.