"Both prolific and eloquent in her continuing indictment of parents who abuse their children and societies that tolerate such behavior."—Kirkus Reviews.
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The culture that ignores roots of hatred and tyranny embedded in its own childrearing traditions, warns Miller, renders itself ripe for payback. Her analyses of the likes of Hitler and Nicolae Ceausescu lend epic significance to her point. Her disclosure of her own abuse gives her plea for truth a potent intimacy that brings the issue home to us all. She calls on society at large to condemn poisonous methods of discipline and, with the eloquence of a survivor, points the way to a liberating awareness for victims whose past still exerts a devastating grip.
--This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.
From Kirkus Reviews
A curiously defensive work, continuing the author's studies on child abuse and how it molds tyrants. Miller (Banished Knowledge, 1990, etc.) is both prolific (this is her third book in two years) and eloquent in her continuing indictment of parents who abuse their children and societies that tolerate such behavior. Generally, she speaks most directly to the traditional pattern of German families, where the father is tyrant, and the punishment is ``for your own good'' (the title of one of her books). From this pattern are bred fascist leaders like Hitler and Stalin. She now adds Ceausescu of Romania, with a convincing analysis of the childhood that produced a man who could warehouse babies. No doubt an analysis of Saddam Hussein will follow. It is troublesome, however, that this book seems to be a vehicle to get back at her critics. Miller lashes out at the media and the psychoanalytic establishment for minimizing her theories, using the same kind of circular reasoning that she says psychoanalysts use: You can't face the truth because you can't face the truth. Choppy and disjointed, full of Miller quoting herself, and best saved only for those collecting the complete Alice Miller. -- Copyright ©1991, Kirkus Associates, LP. All rights reserved.
--This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews
45 of 46 people found the following review helpful
By A Customer
Format:Paperback
And I do not say such things lightly. As a survivor of childhood abuse her books have helped me understand myself so much and helped me heal myself and be my OWN compassionate witness. I think her books should be required reading in junior high schools so that these young adults will learn they DO NOT have to repeat the mistakes of the adults around them if they ever have children themselves and also help them realize just how much damage has been done to them (if any) in the name of a 'proper upbringing' or out and out abuse.
These books are not easy reading especially if you have been abused yourself but they are WORTH IT! Alice Miller's books have helped me make myself a better and *healthier* person.
18 of 19 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback
Never before have I read words that were so profound. Dr. Miller is the bravest and most courageous person since Dr.Seigmond Freud. He too, had been rebuked by all his medical peers, yet he had the answer dead correct. Women who had experienced sexual hysteria as young adults had been indeed sexually violated as a children.
Dr. Alice Miller has indeed shed new light to where evil and abuse is created. We are still in the Dark Ages of how truly one is effected by pain, abandonment, neglect, threats, ritualistic beatings, isolation, spankings, intimidating looks, witnessing abuse and horror,lost, frightened, screams not answered, not comforted and so on as a newborn and throughout his formative years.
The irony is, we as a society will not and can not take responsibility of our own creation of evil and hatred due to ignorance, arrogance and denial.
Dr. Alice Miller has indeed shed new light to where evil and abuse is created. We are still in the Dark Ages of how truly one is effected by pain, abandonment, neglect, threats, ritualistic beatings, isolation, spankings, intimidating looks, witnessing abuse and horror,lost, frightened, screams not answered, not comforted and so on as a newborn and throughout his formative years.
The irony is, we as a society will not and can not take responsibility of our own creation of evil and hatred due to ignorance, arrogance and denial.
18 of 22 people found the following review helpful
By A Customer
Format:Paperback
Dr. Alice Miller is to be commended for her never-ending work, and delving, into the deep, dark, limitless oceans of the un-worked through human mind, the last, and Ignored, Frontier. Her courage in facing the Truth and revealing it, ONLY to the WILLING reader, is to be genuinely admired. This Society owes her a great debt in her courage in facing her own personal truth and revealing the DEVASTATING FACTS about children in the hands of merciless, conscienceless, violent, justifying "adults". The reason this society appears such a mess is because of the very adults this WONDERFUL writer describes, as they raise the children we will face as adults, in our daily lives. If every parent on Earth were as conscious, honest, courageous and kind as Dr. Alice Miller, this planet would be The Paradise we all Pray for.
12 of 14 people found the following review helpful
By Raina26
Format:Hardcover
I recommend this book to anyone that hasn't read Alice Miller. I think this is her best, most accessible, most on target books to date. She writes from personal experience not just theory and her 'training" and it is compelling.
5 of 5 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback
I really liked this book when I first read it in 1991. It is much more forceful than "Banished Knowledge." This work is absolutely exhilarating and invigorating to read. Never has truth seemed so familiar and plain, and with such potential for pervasive potency in everyone's lives. Alice Miller (although now deceased) is ripe and right here: repression of the awareness that our parents hurt us, neglected us, did not respect or honor us is the cause for almost all psychic illness, neuroticism, self-destruction, and even world-destructiveness.
That being said, I still don't get what Alice Miller saw in Stettbacher as being so specially wonderful, about his techniques in particular. In America, what the European Stettbacher recommends in his writings is what the average and eclectic psychotherapist practices each and every day with his or her patients.
Nonetheless, I love that Alice Miller nails Freud, Jung and Kohut in this work for being unable themselves to penetrate into their own abuses in childhood. These men comprise one less disguised "helper" to have to fight with, be wary of, or even listen to.
This book is well-written, passionate, and is possessed of a laser-beam focus on abuse and the truth.
That being said, I still don't get what Alice Miller saw in Stettbacher as being so specially wonderful, about his techniques in particular. In America, what the European Stettbacher recommends in his writings is what the average and eclectic psychotherapist practices each and every day with his or her patients.
Nonetheless, I love that Alice Miller nails Freud, Jung and Kohut in this work for being unable themselves to penetrate into their own abuses in childhood. These men comprise one less disguised "helper" to have to fight with, be wary of, or even listen to.
This book is well-written, passionate, and is possessed of a laser-beam focus on abuse and the truth.
18 of 25 people found the following review helpful
By DOROTHY
Format:Paperback|Amazon Verified Purchase
It is a painful but fulfilling experience to stop telling lies to oneself - to face life without deception and illusion, to constantly question yourself and those close to you, quite simply - to live consciously and meaningfully and to accept your past as it truly was. Love and relationships can't help but win over money, sex and power!
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback
I really liked this book when I first read it in 1991. It is much more forceful than "Banished Knowledge." This work is absolutely exhilarating and invigorating to read. Never has truth seemed so familiar and plain, and with such potential for pervasive potency in everyone's lives. Alice Miller (although now deceased) is ripe and right here: repression of the awareness that our parents hurt us, neglected us, did not respect or honor us is the cause for almost all psychic illness, neuroticism, self-destruction, and even world-destructiveness.
That being said, I still don't get what Alice Miller saw in Stettbacher as being so specially wonderful, about his techniques in particular. In America, what the European Stettbacher recommends in his writings is what the average and eclectic psychotherapist practices each and every day with his or her patients.
Nonetheless, I love that Alice Miller nails Freud, Jung and Kohut in this work for being unable themselves to penetrate into their own abuses in childhood. These men comprise one less disguised "helper" to have to fight with, be wary of, or even listen to.
This book is well-written, passionate, and is possessed of a laser-beam focus on abuse and the truth.
That being said, I still don't get what Alice Miller saw in Stettbacher as being so specially wonderful, about his techniques in particular. In America, what the European Stettbacher recommends in his writings is what the average and eclectic psychotherapist practices each and every day with his or her patients.
Nonetheless, I love that Alice Miller nails Freud, Jung and Kohut in this work for being unable themselves to penetrate into their own abuses in childhood. These men comprise one less disguised "helper" to have to fight with, be wary of, or even listen to.
This book is well-written, passionate, and is possessed of a laser-beam focus on abuse and the truth.
Most Recent Customer Reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars
Another Excellent Book from Miller
A book designed to provide the reader with the tools he or she needs to talk with someone about shameful experiences or memories of those experiences. Read more
Published 11 days ago by mizbehaves
5.0 out of 5 stars
Excellent and passionate writing
Alice Miller writes excellently and passionately. Both professionals and non-professionals ought to be inspired and enlightened by reading this book. Read more
Published 10 months ago by mwlr
2.0 out of 5 stars
Not "All Good," but not "All-Bad," either
A quick perusal of the reviews here, as well as the Kirkus Review above, is indicative. I'd heard from colleagues that Miller had become a broken record in her later books; that... Read more
Published on July 15, 2010 by Not Moses
5.0 out of 5 stars
Danger
Like the all Alice Miller's works the present one thrives unprepared reader to use his (her ) imagiantion and enter a state of »dreaming« ( meditation or learning from personal... Read more
Published on May 27, 2010 by oceangleam
2.0 out of 5 stars
DISAPPOINTING TO SAY THE LEAST!
I would have expected much greater things from Miller than what is written here. As a counsellor with over thirty years experience, and having suffered abuse as a child myself, I... Read more
Published on November 2, 2001 by Sandra D. Peters
2.0 out of 5 stars
Didn't live up to my expectations
This book is very similar to Miller's other work. She is focussed on child abuse, and how our society's unwillingness to take child abuse seriously is destroying our world. Read more
Published on October 27, 2001 by Ms Diva
1.0 out of 5 stars
FORGIVENESS
I have lived through my shares of trials and truibulations and I did not find this book helpful but rather hurtful. I draw my conclusion by her example of Hilter. Read more
Published on February 26, 2001
Citations (learn more)
This book cites 16
books:
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11
books
cite this book:
See all 11 books citing this book
- For Your Own Good: Hidden Cruelty in Child-Rearing and the Roots of Violence by Alice Miller on 4 pages
- Reclaiming Your Life: A Step-by-Step Guide to Using Regression Therapy to Overcome the Effects of Childhood Abuse by Jean J. Jenson in Front Matter, page 48, and Back Matter
- The Penal Colony by Franz Kafka on page 19, page 62, and page 113
- The Drama of the Gifted Child: The Search for the True Self, Revised Edition by Alice Miller in Front Matter, and Back Matter
- Banished Knowledge: Facing Childhood Injuries by Alice Miller in Front Matter, and Back Matter
See all 16 books this book cites
- Heal & Forgive: Forgiveness in the Face of Abuse by Nancy Richards on page 71, Back Matter (1), and Back Matter (2)
- Healing from the Trauma of Childhood Sexual Abuse: The Journey for Women by Karen A. Duncan in Back Matter (1), and Back Matter (2)
- Invisible Girls: The Truth About Sexual Abuse--A Book for Teen Girls, Young Women, and Everyone Who Cares About Them by Patti Feuereisen in Back Matter
- Love or Trauma: and Heal Multidimensionally: A Multidimensional Approach to Healing: reclaiming your lost information by Bonnie Baumgartner in Back Matter
- Beyond Romance: Making Love Last by Robert H. Simmons PhD in Back Matter
See all 11 books citing this book
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