Customer Reviews

Breaking Free: My Life with Dissociative Identity Disorder

5 star:		(6)
4 star:		(3)
3 star:		(5)
2 star:		(2)
1 star:		(7)

 

 

Overall, I liked this book. One has to admire Herschel for going public with his diagnosis, one poorly understood by the general public and often associated with severe pathology. That took courage, which the author seems to have in abundance. His writing shows an intelligence not commonly associated with sports, and he gives articulate expression to the various manifestations of his version of DID. A real plus of Walker's account is that he describes an "up" side to this condition, stating clearly for the layperson that it has certain adaptive and self-protecting qualities.

That said, I was left with some questions. While the book seemed forthright and honest, he describes about a dozen different "alters" (formerly called multiple personalities) that he claims have arisen from his being tormented as a fat and stuttering schoolboy--while undoubtedly painful, his schoolyard abuse is hardly the type that normally spawns this fragmented condition. And as a clinical psychologist, I have treated DID patients. A more common presentation than his involves distinct changes in personality including voice, body posture, emotional expression, etc. . . . like you are really seeing different people. He says that his shifts were more subtle, nothing that could be seen externally, more like discrete changes in mental state known only to him at the time. That raises (for me, at least) the issue of whether or not this devoted and highly focused athlete is not simply given to a rather strict compartmentalization of his feelings, a medium that he would admit he is not comfortable with. Even his most personal relationships have suffered from his tendency to be so self-contained. Or perhaps DID is best explained as a "spectrum" disorder, ranging in degree of severity, as we now know autism to be. Who knows?

While he talks about his repeated "thrill-seeking" with Russian roulette, Walker notable leaves out of his story the fact that he several times put a gun to his ex-wife's head. And he glosses over a bit the fact that he had an affair despite his born-again Christian beliefs. When a "tell all" book tells not quite all, you are left wondering what more has been left out.

Just finished reading Hershel's book and found the story very interesting as story about how to survive the crueling life of a football player but not informative enough about the DID diagnosis. I purchased this book because I was excited to hear of someone else who had this condition. As I read on I was hoping to read more about the alters and how the alters "switched" in and out to complete any one task. Since I survived my horrific childhood with "alter" help, I had hoped to read more detail. I'd be interested in meeting and sitting down with Hershel to share some of the "alter chaos" that wasn't written in his book and my story. I, like Hershel, felt the importance of sharing my story as to help others understand the amazing way our minds can protect us while we are suffering through abuse. I believe DID/MPD is a God sent coping mechanism. I shared my life story in the book, "Switching Time" by author Richard Baer.
Although no two cases are the same I found too many differences that have me wondering whether or not this was truly a case of DID? For me, my "alters" weren't so consistant. I accomplished many great things but could never have spent many years in a rigorous exercise schedule to accomplish something as great as becoming a professional football player. However,I've spent many years watching my son play baseball and witness the change in his personality when he is concentrating on baseball. He is in a zone and nothing around him distracts him. I also imagine that those who serve our country, as in the Marines, switch into combat mode when needed. They are also in a different "zone" to fight and protect. I know this because my son is also a Marine who served in Iraq. And he does not have DID. I wonder if Hershel's experiece is more of being a very disciplined athelete determined to succeed by changing his sense of self to accomplish great things regarding sports, rather than actually having DID?
I am glad Hershel survived all that he had. I know, first hand, how hard it was being a victim. I wish him well and future success.

Amazing that the title is My Life with Dissociative Identity Disorder. He barely mentioned the DID unless it got him out of hot water. The final chapter of the book was a short explanation of what DID is. You could get this info from the Sidran web site and save the cost of the book. Most of his time was spent either stroking his ego or offering an excuse for all the controversial things he has been involved with.

He claims that the splits in his identity occured because of nightmares and some bullies at school. Yet he was able to find solace in a loving and close christian family. Every DID case I have ever heard of, has suffered through horrendous abuse, usually from primary caregivers. Herschel Walker makes light of these survivors.

Save your money.

I saw this book in my local bookstore in the last-chance clearance section (which should tell you something right there) and I became interested in the title. Having been a successfully-integrated DID survivor myself, I'm always encouraged to see more books on this subject. I was initially hopeful, since I had not heard of Herschel Walker before--I don't watch footbal--and was truly hoping that this autobiography of another DID person's healing journey would be a helpful one.

Unfortunately, this book was anything but helpful. In fact, it does a disservice to all Dissociative patients everywhere.

First off, the first three chapters of this book is a self-indulgent, almost narcissistic rambling about why he wrote the book in the first place. He seems to be almost apologetic about his "normal" family, in light of how he knows how DID is usually induced in most patients (as he clumsily explains in the first two chapters). He was raised in a good, loving, Christian family, according to Mr. Walker, and no one ever abused him. Yet somehow, because of intense bullying at school and his being oversensitive to the dark as a young child, he "developed" alter personalities to "handle his fears by himself."

Second, and most important, while paging through this travesty of a book, at no time did I read anywhere where a specific alter personality took executive control of the host personality--the SPECIFIC hallmarks and main diagnostic criteria for diagnosing Dissociative Identity Disorder in the first place. And this man was supposedly clinically diagnosed by an acquaintance of his who allegedly runs a Dissociative Disorders clinic. (There was a brief mention in this book of Mr. Walker having a short stay at this clinic and coming face to face with other DID and Dissociative patients who had gone through the more classical severe abuse that induces this condition.) The rest of the book is a meandering autobiography of his football career and the times when he had anger control issues that eventually led him to seek help.

At best, I'm being generous to allow that, perhaps, Mr. Walker may have had **a form of** Dissociative Disorder--maybe even DD-NOS (Dissociative Disorder Not Otherwise Specified, a diagnosis usually given when DID is too strong a diagnosis, but the subject clearly shows Dissociative tendencies). We all react to stress and trauma in unique and original ways, and it may very well be that for him the bullying and sensitivity was enough to induce him to dissociate as a young boy.

However, reading this book will NOT educate someone newly-diagnosed with DID, nor will it give that person a clear view of what they're facing in the healing process. At best, this was a poorly-written autobiography of a DID patient's journey (which was barely mentioned at the end of the book; he only went into the therapy part in the last 2-3 chapters). At worst, reading this book could set that same newly-diagnosed person back months in their healing process--there is absolutely nothing in this book that matches the medically-recognized definition of Dissociative Identity Disorder as outlined in the DSM IV-R, and it could very well dissuade a person from getting competent treatment from a Dissociative Disorders specialist.

I STRONGLY suggest running far and fast away from this book. There are other, better DID-related books available, including "Life After MPD" by Debra Lighthart (unless religion is a "trigger" for the patient); "First Person Plural" by Cameron West, Ph.D (a much more coherent treatment autobiography); and "A Mind of My Own" by Chris Costner Sizemore, the REAL "Eve" of "Three Faces of Eve" (a wonderful autobiography of her true integration and recovery process--there was more to the story than was first presented).

I read this book for the DID aspect and not because it was written by a famous NFL star. I found his successes, despite his abuse and misfortune to be nothing less than extraordinary. He definitely puts a more positive representation of DID than other books I've read. He insists, and in fact demonstrates how his alters aided him in achieving his goals. Instead of being detrimental to his well being and causing physical harm in the form of self injury they help him withstand extreme childhood trauma and encourage him to overcome what may have been his physical limitation. They do go to the extreme in that they are able to ignore pain to the point of undergoing oral surgery with no anesthesia and playing a game with a dislocated shoulder; experiences that would be unbearably painful for the majority of individuals. His incredible discipline and resulting successes are however coupled with a darker and more harmful inability to connect with others on anything other than a guarded level as well as bouts of uncontrollable rage and conflicting voices. His story is undeniably interesting.

Unfortunately I found the writing to be average at best and the tone to be somewhat arrogant. The arrogance is contrary to his clearly stated aim to exclude any arrogance at all. His belief in God and Jesus are an innate part of his personality and he gives them credit for his drive to excel and subsequent financial stability. He claims to be frugal and to reject material extravagance; and yet there is a scene where he enters his garage and must press the unlock button on the keyless entry system to reveal to which of his several expensive vehicles the keys belonged. For me as a reader I could not reconcile these two completely opposing ideas. Either you reject materialism or you own several expensive and even rare automobiles.

I did read the entire book without giving up due to boredom or frustration with the writing, but it is not something I would recommend as a "good" book to read on the subject of DID. If you are a fan of Herschel Walker and interested in his life then I would have to say it is an enlightening and surprisingly revealing memoir and likely a must read.

In conclusion, if you're looking for a good representation of living with DID put this lower on your list. If it's Herschel Walker this books for you.

I am very moved by the great courage it took for Herschel Walker to write this book and disclose this deeply personal and difficult aspect of his life. I am also very grateful to him. I hope his brave choice to share this will help validate those of us that struggle with the stigma of DID. His ex-wife should also be commended for her willingness and courage to support him and speak out on the subject. I had a chronically traumatic first 16 years of my life, at the hands and twisted imagination of a sadistic father. I've been in therapy for nearly 10 years now trying to heal and help this gift of DID that I was blessed with to survive my childhood; to become more functional in adulthood. It's my hope that this book will help to remove the stigma and shame attached to DID as well the intense social fear and denial. To be honest, there are moments I wish I still had the luxury and privilege of denying the reality of DID, the very difficult work of healing, and the severe long-term abuse that is usually associated with it causing the mind to fragment in this way. Though I will admit, it is a bit questionable how Hershel believes he developed DID, I will not judge it. I think it's possible and even likely, he is not finished discovering the causes; life is a process. It's not my intent to minimize the suffering and trauma of childhood bullying, etc. I also sense some insistence on idealizing his Christian family of origin. I am grateful God created within the human mind the ability to cope and survive what the human mind was never intended to endure or suffer---the horrendous, often unthinkable, cruelties of other human beings. I've been encouraged by friends, family, and therapists for the last 10 years to write a book about my life and DID. An article on NFL's website quotes Walker, "I feel the greatest achievement of my life will be to tell the world my truth." I've been feeling exactly the same way for more than 30 years now. It's my hope that when I'm ready to write my book, the inspiration I feel from his choice will motivate me. Thank you Herschel Walker for your strong, and exceptionally brave spirit.

I thought long and hard about commenting on Mr. Walker's book because, I'm certainly not an authority on DID. However, after reading "Breaking Free," I'm convinced that Herschel Walker is a shy man who, as a result of being rejected, ridiculed and beat up by his childhood peers, has a bit of false humility, guilt and an incredible determination to view himself as someone greater than what he really is.

A biography about overcoming would have been stellar because Mr. Walker's accomplishments are truly extraordinary. Instead, Mr. Walker chose to cloak his suicidal tendencies and marital unfaithfulness as "alter" generated actions as opposed to taking responsibility for the fact that he's human just like everybody else.

I'm shocked at his therapist, and feel that Mr. Walker was somewhat willingly used to advance awareness about a diagnosis that may, in fact be valid...only not valid for Mr. Walker. Depression, narcissism and plain old pretending to be someone you're not, might have been more suitable 'labels' for him.

To Cindy...I'm sorry that he couldn't just 'man up'.

**For the record, I'll be returning my copy of this book to the library tomorrow, and am glad that my dollars did not support this bunkum.

I bought this book hoping to gain insight on the recovery process for DID and to share a view of DID with my husband who is a big sports fan, but who would have a tough time wading through any kind of psych literature. It is definitely more biography than an explanation of the dissociative process (which is probably what I was most interested in). That said, Herschel's accomplishments and ability to overcome adversity are terrific. The book is an easy read, and I did finish it in just a few days. His eventual recovery is apparent--I just wanted more explanation of how it came about.

Contrary to his football career, Mr. Walker is a very good writer. I followed his writing very easily and he is excellent at describing situations in detail. I very much enjoyed his essence of writing.
To splash this sort of thing in the public (especially with his football status), must of been horrifying. I agree that it was extremely brave of him to write this book. I can tell that he truly wants people to get over this stigma that everybody is giving to DID. It's obvious that he wrote this book to try to help others to understand.
I'm not skeptic, especially not in this aspect. But my problem is, I just don't feel he caught the angle of DID very well. He takes the right approach by telling his life story and his childhood troubles. But he barely brushes up on DID. He briefly explains different alters that he has, but I couldn't get a feel for them at all. He explains different symptoms he portrayed very quickly and not to thoroughly. Of course, I have to give the man credit for trying. He was the only writer of this book and he had a somewhat difficult perspective to write from. He wouldn't remember a great deal of these things. But I feel as if the subject of DID kind of took a back seat to the rest of his writing. I got the book for perspective and I just don't feel like I got it. He writes about his accomplishments and I think he's trying to portray that he was able to work with his DID and succeed. In this aspect, I found the book to be very inspiring. He made a very good attempt.

To say the least, I think this book is good for inspiration. If your looking for information or perspective on DID this isn't the right book. Great read, just lacking in perspective.

I enjoyed reading "Breaking Free" by Herschel Walker, but was a bit disappointed by it because it wasn't what I thought it was going to be. He never told how his family reacted to his diagnosis of DID, nor where he was as far as his therapy today, or where he was as far as integration. I know he was trying to remove the stygma from DID, but not having suffered the extreme abuse I did, it was hard to relate to him. Also he may have grown up with very little as I did, but he's never suffered the financial hardships I have as an adult because of extreme panic and anxiety disorders I have a hard time holding a job. Plus during my abuse I received permanent damage to some of my joints and have to deal with pain on a daily basis. Unfortunately for me I don't have an alter who can take the pain so I don't have to deal with it. Where as he's got the freedom to announce to the world that he's DID, if I did that I'd have to share what caused my DID. Since I've already lost my extended family because they don't believe me about my abuse and men in my family are some of my abusers, I don't have the freedom to share my diagnosis with anyone outside my adult children, husband and one good friend and of course my therapist. This makes me feel very isolated and alone. I know Herschel understands the loneliness and isolation, but when I'm ready to write my autobiography I will have to use a "Pen Name". There are those in my family who might sue me for defamation of character as one of my abusers is in full time ministry and it would destroy his ministry, and as a Christian I just can't do that no matter what he did to me. I am glad Herschel was able to share his story and that he's benefited from it, as I'm sure others have, but I don't have the freedom he has to share his story. Over all it was informational and good to read of someone else having what I do, but he has fame behind him and can use his name to promote his story and book, I just don't have that luxury and I have many, many, more alters than he has. Yes for him, integration is the ultimate goal, but for my alters there will never be total integration since I've been DID for over 52 years of my life and some of my adult alters as well as some of my child and middle alters refuse to integrate. Plus I don't know that I could handle the stesses of my life as a singleton. I don't like being DID, but it saved my life and it's the only life I've ever known. Good luck Herschel, it seems you're well on your way to total health.