The Breaking Point: How Female Midlife Crisis Is Transforming Today's Women [Hardcover]

Sue Shellenbarger (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: March 10, 2005

In the tradition of The Second Shift, a groundbreaking work that identifies and explains the phenomenon poised to redefine our culture

When Sue Shellenbarger wrote about her midlife crises in her award-winning Wall Street Journal Work & Family column, the volume and emotional intensity of the responses from her readers was stunning. As she heard story after story of middle-aged women radically changing course in search of greater fulfillment, a trend began to emerge: an entire generation of women was experiencing the tumultuous transition of midlife in ways not seen before.

To capture this paradigm shift, Shellenbarger combines original research data and interviews with more than fifty women who've navigated their own midlife crisis. Long stereotyped as the province of men, today the midlife crisis is reported with greater frequency by women than men. Emboldened by the financial independence to act upon midlife desires, exhausted by decades of playing supermom and repressing the feminine sides of themselves to succeed at work, women are shedding the age roles of the past in favor of new pursuits in adventure, sports, sex, romance, education, and spirituality. And in the process they are rewriting all the rules.

Beyond defining a new phenomenon, The Breaking Point shows how various options women use to cope with the turmoil of midlife-from playing it safe to dynamiting their lives-have a profound impact on their families, careers, and our culture at large. Provocative, insightful, and resonant, The Breaking Point is sure to be one of the most controversial and talked-about publications of 2005.

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

When Shellenbarger wrote about her midlife crisis in one of her Wall Street Journal "Work & Family" columns, reader response was overwhelming. So she decided to investigate those "psychological and spiritual upheavals [that] have been mistaken for menopause symptoms and reduced to a biological phenomenon." Relying on interviews with 50 women between their late 30s and mid-50s and four studies of aging—and heavily indebted to a Jungian perspective—this catchy work is tailor-made for the "36% of women who will eventually have what they regard as midlife crises" (and it's right up the Oprah and Dr. Phil alley, too). Shellenbarger delineates six archetypes: the Adventurer, the Lover, the Leader, the Artist, the Gardener and the Seeker, who meet the crisis through six modes of transition (Sonic Boom, Moderate, Slow Burn, Flameout, Meltdown and Non-Starter). Contrary to popular wisdom, Shellenbarger says, "the vital juices of joy, sexuality, and self-discovery are bubbling within, more powerfully and compellingly than ever" at midlife. The Artist might rediscover her creativity; the Gardener, who "focuses deeply on the elements of the life she already has," might look for ways to revitalize old interests. The road to personal growth can be bumpy, Shellenbarger writes (and sometimes it's hard to distinguish it from "the path to perdition"), but her book offers an illuminating guide. Agent, Amanda Urban. (Apr.)
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

Review

"Every once in a while you read a book that transforms you. Like the shift of a kaleidoscope, it reconfigures your view of life's journey. This is such a book. It may stimulate you to change directions, perhaps even enable you to find life's greatest joy: fulfillment. An invigorating read."
-- Helen Fisher, Author of Why We Love

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Product Details

• Hardcover: 288 pages
• Publisher: Henry Holt and Co.; First Edition edition (March 10, 2005)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0805077111
• ISBN-13: 978-0805077117
• Product Dimensions: 9.3 x 6.4 x 1 inches
• Shipping Weight: 1.2 pounds
• Average Customer Review: 3.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (11 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #686,581 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

37 of 38 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Could be much more..., July 6, 2005

By 

Dr Cathy Goodwin (Seattle, WA USA) - See all my reviews
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This review is from: The Breaking Point: How Female Midlife Crisis Is Transforming Today's Women (Hardcover)

As a career consultant who works with midlife professionals, and a fan of Sue Shellenbarger, I was eager to read The Breaking Point. And mostly I was not disappointed.

I like the way Shellenbarger treats midlife crisis respectfully, rather than comparing midlife to a "second adolescence." She begins by exploring her own motivation and then sets out to understand the research in the field. I am familiar with the work of Professor Elaine Wethington, who is quoted to set the stage for a research perspective. However, I wish the author had reviewed other research and other respected authors, such as Jean Shinoda Bolen's work on goddesses of midlife.

Additionally, I was impressed that the author has interviewed fifty women. And, like many reporters, she makes her points by narrative rather than summing up.

On the other hand, I felt the book's organization could have been tighter. Shellenbarger identifies six archetypes: lover, adventurer, leader, gardener, artist and seeker. The book spends about 30 pages on the lover archetype, which Shellenbarger describes as potentially dangerous, and 15 pages each on the other archetypes. Was the lover predominant in her own study? Or did she (and the editors) believe this archetype would draw the greatest interest from readers?

It would have been interesting to get at least two or three stories for each archetype. The Gardener, for instance, is represented only by "Melanie." Following a series of career mistakes and miscarriages, the author writes, "For most of her adult life, Melanie...regarded herself as a 'happpy, active sensible person with a couople of good friends, a good marriage and a loveable son.'" (p 154)

Yet the archeype of Gardener suggests someone who has roamed the world and now is ready to come home. Why not give some examples here?

Shellenbarger wisely classifies her book as journalism, with no pretense of advice or self-help exercises. Even so, it is important to recognize that the fifty interviewees will be far from representative. They've offered to share their stories, which means they had time to do so, and they apparently believed their stories presented a positive image. They may have experienced some setbacks but they've triumphed.

Ultimately, an indirect lesson of this book is that midlife crisis belongs to the rich and educated. One woman begins twice-weekly sessions with a psychiatrist. All I could think was, "She must have had one great health plan -- or lots of money." These options are not open to most women 40-60. Many find themselves facing a more down-to-earth crisis as they lose jobs -- or their husbands lose jobs.

Bottom Line: Some women will be comforted or inspired as they recognize their own archetype. But the larger question relates to the way our culture and infrastructure still cling to old stereotypes. We may be getting stronger, more vibrant and more alive...but what do we do with these qualities?

9 of 10 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Powerful and positive, July 5, 2005

By 

Michelle M. Zive (LM, CA United States) - See all my reviews
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This review is from: The Breaking Point: How Female Midlife Crisis Is Transforming Today's Women (Hardcover)

I'm a 41-year-old woman who has already gone through a midlife crisis. Ten years ago there were no books like Shellenbarger's to "help" me with my process. Instead all we had were examples of men's midlife crisis, including the purchasing of red convertible sports cars and divorcing their wives for some hot, young thing. Shellenbarger sheds light on not only the reasons behind women's midlife crisis but also the ways "we" handle this time in our lives. I'm fascinated by the six different archetypes, or the passions women are drawn to as a result of their crisis, including the lover, adventurer, leader, artist, internal gardener, seeker and artist, that Shellenbarger found in her research. Although a word of caution here, the research is more like sitting around a table and talking with a group of friends than taking a poll of a 1000 women about this phenomenon. But that's what makes the book interesting and readable, you'll perhaps recognize yourself or your friends or family members in these women's stories.

5 of 5 people found the following review helpful:

1.0 out of 5 stars What a waste of money, July 7, 2007

By 

R. Garrett "lizard girl" (Coralville, Iowa USA) - See all my reviews
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This review is from: The Breaking Point: How Today's Women Are Navigating Midlife Crisis (Paperback)

This book was recommended to me and I foolishly bought it without checking the reviews on amazon. That'll teach me! I should have borrowed the book from the library and saved the money for a really useful book. I am a white middle class 53 year old woman with a rollercoaster of a past. I did not feel a connection with any of the (probably) white upper middle to upper class women who had untapped talents and had been personally selected by the author or had referred to her for inclusion in this "study" (and I use the term loosely). I am coping with middle age just fine without breaking a collarbone or having sex with multiple partners. What do I have common with the CEOs or most of the other women in this book? Nada. Well, the lesson I learned from this book was not the one the author intended: check the amazon reviews before I buy a book!