37 of 38 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars
Could be much more..., July 6, 2005
As a career consultant who works with midlife professionals, and a fan of Sue Shellenbarger, I was eager to read The Breaking Point. And mostly I was not disappointed.
I like the way Shellenbarger treats midlife crisis respectfully, rather than comparing midlife to a "second adolescence." She begins by exploring her own motivation and then sets out to understand the research in the field. I am familiar with the work of Professor Elaine Wethington, who is quoted to set the stage for a research perspective. However, I wish the author had reviewed other research and other respected authors, such as Jean Shinoda Bolen's work on goddesses of midlife.
Additionally, I was impressed that the author has interviewed fifty women. And, like many reporters, she makes her points by narrative rather than summing up.
On the other hand, I felt the book's organization could have been tighter. Shellenbarger identifies six archetypes: lover, adventurer, leader, gardener, artist and seeker. The book spends about 30 pages on the lover archetype, which Shellenbarger describes as potentially dangerous, and 15 pages each on the other archetypes. Was the lover predominant in her own study? Or did she (and the editors) believe this archetype would draw the greatest interest from readers?
It would have been interesting to get at least two or three stories for each archetype. The Gardener, for instance, is represented only by "Melanie." Following a series of career mistakes and miscarriages, the author writes, "For most of her adult life, Melanie...regarded herself as a 'happpy, active sensible person with a couople of good friends, a good marriage and a loveable son.'" (p 154)
Yet the archeype of Gardener suggests someone who has roamed the world and now is ready to come home. Why not give some examples here?
Shellenbarger wisely classifies her book as journalism, with no pretense of advice or self-help exercises. Even so, it is important to recognize that the fifty interviewees will be far from representative. They've offered to share their stories, which means they had time to do so, and they apparently believed their stories presented a positive image. They may have experienced some setbacks but they've triumphed.
Ultimately, an indirect lesson of this book is that midlife crisis belongs to the rich and educated. One woman begins twice-weekly sessions with a psychiatrist. All I could think was, "She must have had one great health plan -- or lots of money." These options are not open to most women 40-60. Many find themselves facing a more down-to-earth crisis as they lose jobs -- or their husbands lose jobs.
Bottom Line: Some women will be comforted or inspired as they recognize their own archetype. But the larger question relates to the way our culture and infrastructure still cling to old stereotypes. We may be getting stronger, more vibrant and more alive...but what do we do with these qualities?
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9 of 10 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars
Powerful and positive, July 5, 2005
I'm a 41-year-old woman who has already gone through a midlife crisis. Ten years ago there were no books like Shellenbarger's to "help" me with my process. Instead all we had were examples of men's midlife crisis, including the purchasing of red convertible sports cars and divorcing their wives for some hot, young thing. Shellenbarger sheds light on not only the reasons behind women's midlife crisis but also the ways "we" handle this time in our lives. I'm fascinated by the six different archetypes, or the passions women are drawn to as a result of their crisis, including the lover, adventurer, leader, artist, internal gardener, seeker and artist, that Shellenbarger found in her research. Although a word of caution here, the research is more like sitting around a table and talking with a group of friends than taking a poll of a 1000 women about this phenomenon. But that's what makes the book interesting and readable, you'll perhaps recognize yourself or your friends or family members in these women's stories.
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6 of 6 people found the following review helpful:
1.0 out of 5 stars
What a waste of money, July 7, 2007
This book was recommended to me and I foolishly bought it without checking the reviews on amazon. That'll teach me! I should have borrowed the book from the library and saved the money for a really useful book. I am a white middle class 53 year old woman with a rollercoaster of a past. I did not feel a connection with any of the (probably) white upper middle to upper class women who had untapped talents and had been personally selected by the author or had referred to her for inclusion in this "study" (and I use the term loosely). I am coping with middle age just fine without breaking a collarbone or having sex with multiple partners. What do I have common with the CEOs or most of the other women in this book? Nada. Well, the lesson I learned from this book was not the one the author intended: check the amazon reviews before I buy a book!
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