Breaking Through Betrayal: and Recovering the Peace Within (New Horizons in Therapy Series) [Paperback]

Holli Kenley (Author)

Book Description

Series: New Horizons in Therapy Series | Publication Date: December 15, 2009

Are you ready to finally recover your peace of mind?

We are living in a time where betrayal abounds. Tragically, most of know or know of someone who has been scarred by the betrayal bandit. In whatever form it takes (financial, political, personal, social, legal, environmental, cultural, etc.), no one is immune from the infectious waves of betrayal moving through our society. Breaking Through Betrayal: And Recovering the Peace Within is for any individual who has experienced or is experiencing betrayal, who carries the wounds or scars of betrayal injury, and who is struggling to break through its bonds. Betrayal has known us far longer than we have known it; it is time to change that. Readers of this book will be challenged to:

Explore the different kinds of betrayal while connecting with the experiences of others.

Unravel the emotions and behaviors that accompany betrayal injury and explore the factors which contribute to the intensity and duration of symptoms.

Empower yourself by embracing an interactive healing process tailored specifically for recovery from betrayal injury.

Revive and restore your mind, body, and spirit through a series of activities, exercises, and self-assessments which provide tools for renewal, as well as working through relapse or re-injury.

Reclaim your rightful sense of self.

Therapists Praise Breaking Through Betrayal

"Useful for anyone caught in self-blame, shame or repeated victimization. Though almost the antithesis of my inner-transformation approach, this empowering 'in-control' approach can help readers take charge, assess injury, gauge healing and find excellent strategies to protect themselves from future trauma when relating to one's betrayer."
--Beth Hedva, Ph.D. author of award-winning Betrayal, Trust and Forgiveness

"This volume deals with the subject of betrayal, and is appropriate as a self-help aid for clients. It also contains useful suggestions for therapists dealing with those who have experienced betrayal of trust of several kinds: interpersonal, familial, sexual, and financial. The steps in the healing process are well outlined and make clear that relapse is to be expected. Overlap with loss and the grief process is also well discussed."
--Lucy R. Ferguson, Ph.D., Member, AFTNC
Faculty Member and Dean Emerita, CSPP, Alliant University

About the Author
Holli Kenley is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in the state of California. She holds a Masters Degree in Psychology with an emphasis on Marriage, Family, and Child Counseling. For over a decade (both as an intern and a licensed clinician), Holli has worked in a variety of settings: a women's shelter and transitional housing, a counseling center, and in private practice.

Learn more at www.HolliKenley.com

From the New Horizons in Therapy Series at Loving Healing Press www.LovingHealing.com

Self-Help : Abuse - Psychological
Family & Relationships : Dysfunctional Families
Psychology : Cognitive Therapy

Editorial Reviews

Review

We need to take responsibility for our healing by following the steps outlined in this book and participating in the activities. The author also recommends frequently reassessing our feelings in the recovery process so that we know what steps to take next. I highly recommend Breaking Through Betrayal.
Reviewed by Paige Lovitt for Reader Views (1/10)

Don't expect an easy read or fix when reading BTB. The author challenges readers to embrace the process of recovering from the deep emotional injuries of betrayal.  I highly recommend  this book to everyone.
--Allbooks Review by Donette Garman (4/10)

This work is extremely useful to anyone going through a betrayal or for helping a friend or loved one who has been betrayed.  As a vauable reference in any permanent library, I highly endorse this work. --Review The Book by Lauri Coates (3/10)

BTB belongs in the libraries of mental health practitioners, victims of betrayal, and those who monitor intriguing and promising emergent ideas in psychotherapy and clinical psychology. --"The Recovering Self" Vol.II No. 2 Review by Sam Vaknin PhD

Product Details

• Paperback: 198 pages
• Publisher: Loving Healing Press (December 15, 2009)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1615990097
• ISBN-13: 978-1615990092
• Product Dimensions: 9.7 x 7.4 x 0.4 inches
• Shipping Weight: 12.8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.2 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (4 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #997,286 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Holli Kenley M.A., MFT, is a betrayal recovering expert who helps people rebuild their lives no matter what kind of betrayal they have experienced. Holli empowers individuals by giving them tools and strategies tailored specifically for recovering from betrayal injury. Holli's approach is centered around the philosophy that "victims must right themselves" and not waste a moment making their healing contingent upon their betrayer's words or actions. Her mission is to focus attention on the true heros - those left stading in the shadows of their betrayers.

While teaching Humanities at middle and high school, Holli returned to graduate school in the mid-ninties to earn her Masters degree in Psychology with an emphasis in Marriage, Family, and Child Counseling. As a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Holli works largely in the areas of abuse, trauma, grief/loss, addiction, and betrayal.

Holli and her husband reside in California's Central Valley where she enjoys being close to family and persuing other passions: speaking, reading, and writing. Visit Holli at her website http://www.hollikenley.com., contact her at [e-mail], and follow her at http://WellnessWithHolli.blogspot.com/.

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Unprecedented Study of Ubiquitous Betrayal, September 30, 2010

By 

Sam Vaknin (Skopje, Macedonia) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Breaking Through Betrayal: and Recovering the Peace Within (New Horizons in Therapy Series) (Paperback)

In a curious preface to this otherwise commendable work, the author is at pains to declare her undying loyalty to the DSM-IV and to discount the very ideas she later expounds upon, lest she provokes the ire of her peers and of the establishment. Such is the sad fate of innovators and original thinkers today that they strive to efface their contributions and vitiate their own creativity.

The book amounts to an in-depth (possibly the first such) study of betrayal in a variety of situations and as the root cause of numerous mental health conditions and disorders. As a "background" emotion, it is often overlooked by practitioners and well-meaning laymen alike. Betrayal is pernicious and all-pervasive. The author's use of a strong vocabulary ("dark", "cancerous") to describe it is justified: betrayal comprises the entire gamut of rejection and hurt. Nor is betrayal limited to the interpersonal realm: one can and is often betrayed by bosses, political leaders, pillars of the community, and institutions.

This book is the outcome of the author's own experiences as a marriage and family therapist and as a person who has been betrayed by a member of her family. When autobiographical epiphany gives rise to intellectual rigor, we usually have a winner and this book is no exception: as promised by the author, it is a riveting, well-written tour of hitherto largely uncharted waters, replete with numerous case studies, a systematization of the emotional and cognitive components of betrayal and its consequences, a plethora of self-help measures, and self-evaluation questionnaires. About half the book is dedicated to recovery from betrayal. It belongs in the libraries of mental health practitioners, people who suffer or have suffered from betrayal (and who hasn't?), and those who monitor intriguing and promising emergent ideas in psychotherapy and clinical psychology.Sam Vaknin, author of "Malignant Self-love: Narcissism Revisited".

5.0 out of 5 stars Recovering From Betrayal? Learn So Much Here!, March 14, 2010

By 

Lauri C. Coates (MASCOUTAH, IL United States) - See all my reviews
(VINE VOICE)    (REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Breaking Through Betrayal: and Recovering the Peace Within (New Horizons in Therapy Series) (Paperback)

Breaking Through Betrayal: and
Recovering the Peace Within
Author: Holli Kenley
Publisher: Loving Healing Press
ISBN: 978-1615990092

Betrayal. Just about everyone has felt let down by someone they care about. It's tough to deal with, and even tougher to move past it and put it behind you. Once someone lets you down, it's difficult to be sure they won't do it again. You probably find it hard to count on them for awhile. Now imagine someone you love does more than let you down or disappoint you.

The case that immediately comes to mind is that of Tiger Woods and his wife, Elin. Fortunately, most of us will never have to undergo so public a betrayal, so well known and discussed. Betrayal happening to anyone, regardless of their public stature, is extremely painful. Being out of the public limelight doesn't lessen the pain and disbelief that will follow. Betrayal doesn't just happen in romantic relationships. Humans can feel betrayed by friends, politicians, public figures, just about anyone. During the current rough economic times, you may feel betrayal at the loss of a job, foreclosure, or any number of other situations. Friends betray us, leaving us discouraged and distrustful. Betrayal leads to feelings of worthlessness, depression, anxiety and anger. You may be grieving over the betrayal, or feel obsessed by the thought of what happened, or cling more tightly to those around you that haven't betrayed you.

Holli Kenley has written a book that goes in depth to explain the how and why behind the feelings we have following a betrayal. By understanding more about why those feelings occur, one is able to validate them, understand the need for the feelings and offer encouragement and empowerment to move beyond betrayal and into a healthier, more peaceful mindset. Then recovery can truly take place.

Section I of this book covers the knowledge and awareness of exactly what betrayal is, why we suffer negative emotions because of it. She'll clarify the different forms and levels of trust we invest into various relationships, allowing the reader to fully discover their feelings about the individual betrayal and learn to recognize the true depth and degree of the emotions you feel and what you have experienced. You begin to understand the only way to be healthy and whole emotionally is to acknowledge the painful emotions and work through them.

In Section II, the discussion centers on other recovery considerations that may require attention. For example, codependency, which is basically overinvestment of personal resources into someone/something without an adequate return or replenishment. A level of codependency can complicate the journey to recovery. Grief is another recovery consideration. Grief is a natural outgrowth of betrayal, and to successfully recover from betrayal one must understand the degree of their grief and how to work to alleviate it.

Section III is where we move beyond the "prep" work into the actual recovery process. Kenley breaks the process down into five distinct parts, followed by extensive information and techniques for successfully moving through each of the five parts. She includes very specific exercises and instructions for completing each level of the process. Additional resources that offer support are listed.

Overall, this work will be extremely useful to anyone going through a betrayal personally, or trying to help a friend or loved one navigate their way through. Written in a style easy to understand and relate to, it offers help to anyone at any step of the recovery process.

Because the book is well written and detailed, those in a helping profession can utilize these steps and activities with clients of any age who may be experiencing betrayal in any of its many forms. A valuable handbook to maintain in any permanent reference library, this reviewer highly endorses this fine work.

1 of 2 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A gentle process for anyone who has been betrayed, August 26, 2010

By 

Victor R. Volkman "http://www.LovingHealing.com" (Ann Arbor, MI USA) - See all my reviews
(VINE VOICE)    (REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Breaking Through Betrayal: and Recovering the Peace Within (New Horizons in Therapy Series) (Paperback)

Length:: 2:00 Mins

Holli Kenley's book provides a specific step-by-step healing process with lots of self-checking exercises and gauges along the way so you can see how you've progressed and take new ground. Whether you are an adult-child of an alcoholic, survivor of domestic violence, or adult survivor of child abuse, you have something to regain and this gentle method can help you restore it to yourself.