Breaking Up Without Breaking Down
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8 of 8 people found the following review helpful
on November 14, 2007
This book is awesome! I must say that I was skeptical about a book actually being helpful through a break-up, but after exhausting all other outlets (friends, family, even counseling) I decided anything was worth a try. I don't know why, but this book just spoke to me. This book not only offers advice and a step-by-step guide on how to begin to heal after a break-up, but more importantly, it gives stories of others who have gone through a break-up and made it out alive. Reading these stories really helped me put my situation in perspective and realize that all hope of moving on and finding real love was not lost.

I HIGHLY recommend this book to ANYONE who is going through a break-up or has gone through a break-up or even might one day go through a break-up. It doesn't matter your current relationship status, this book has the power the heal hearts that don't even know they're hurt yet.
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5 of 5 people found the following review helpful
on December 6, 2007
This book shares others heartbreak stories and reminds you that despite the loneliness you are experiencing, you are not alone. This book can relate to anyone. The personal accounts cover just about every scenario and type of relationship. You will get perspectives from all sides and likely find yourself nodding with understanding with every relationship. Aside from the actual hardship tales the author also gives you some great advice of her own. You will walk away from this book with a newfound strength and motivation that you hadn't realized was already in you.
"Love is not about finding the right person, but creating a right relationship. It's not about how much love you have in the beginning but how much love you build till the end."
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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful
on December 28, 2009
All the positive reviews convinced me to buy this book, but I found it lacking. It started out fine...I appreciate the author advising someone who's been cheated on not to accept blame for an affair, not even partially. I wholeheartedly agree that if someone makes the decision to cheat, that person should be held 100% accountable for that decision.

I also agree that other factors may have played a part, like compatibility issues, communication problems, and technology making it easier to escape conflict. She adds that not everyone is cut out for monogamy, so if someone cheats on you, it's best to move on, which I agree with, too. And finally, I appreciated her saying that men are just as crushed getting dumped as women are. Underneath that tough exterior lies a heart that can be broken, too.

However, I found the rest of the book, the majority of the book, less inspiring. What you have are many stories describing breakups, from the point of view of the one dumped (and the ones who cheated deserved to be dumped) followed by advice on how to handle breakups better.

The problem is their advice is only one or two sentences long, and has a generic, quick-fix quality about them...like something you'd read in a women's magazine. Some advice they give are "Don't settle for less than you deserve" and "Listen to your heart". Advice like this barely touches the surface, yet it's on to the next story.

If these one-liners helped other people, that's great, but they didn't delve deep enough to help me.
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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful
on June 12, 2008
Kristina, I have one comment to make. Where were you when I went
through a devastating divorce in 1980? Anyone at all who is going through a painful break-up: To save your sanity, please read this book!
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
on December 5, 2007
Matters of the heart are highly intoxicating. I lose myself often in the process, and it's comforting to know I'm not alone. The many stories shared in this book offer an insight on heartbreak and recovery. Though painful, it's a necessary evil we should all go through at least once our life. Only then can we grow and develop into the person we're meant to be.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
on April 13, 2009
This book was given to me by a friend and turned out to be a much bigger help than I expected. It is raw, real and doesn't sugar coat the reality of how much it hurts or how hard it can be to heal from a broken heart. Most of it is common sense stuff but sometimes that is exactly what is lacking when the heart can't seem to get onto the same page with the head. I would definitely recommend this book to anybody that is trying to find a new direction after a relationship has gone sour.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
on April 10, 2008
This book is not only filled with insightful and helpul healing techniques but is also very interesting and entertaining, allowing you to delve into the personal lives of others. This also allows you to compare and reflect upon you your own life and relationship experiences. I highly recommend this book for you or a loved one in need of some TLC.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
Here's a handy book for dealing effectively with the pain of a romantic/love break up. Some of my quick observations about this wonderful book are:

1. The use of the term "emotional roller coaster" helps readers understand the series of emotional highs and lows that they can expect to experience during the aftermath of a break up or divorce. Fasten your seat belts!

2. There is an insightful chapter to help newly single parents learn how to ease their children into the transition(Chapter 8). This is something that is often overlooked!

3. Readers can learn how to find the valuable lessons hidden deep within the pain of a broken heart. And, most importantly, this new awareness helps a person to let go of the pain (even abandon the pain part completely) and move forward!

4. While most breakup books tend to be geared specifically toward women, this book presents a more universal look by providing real stories from real men AND women who went through heartbreak hell and lived to talk about it. As a man, I know that men suffer just as women do only in different external ways.

5. I particularly enjoyed the DO and DON'T lists of the anger track (pages 82-83) or the "better off because" list on page 85.

Breaking up without Breaking Down is a nice book to read for anyone who is involved in a painful breakup and needs a quick understanding of what's going on under the surface so they can let go of the pain and move on.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
on February 23, 2010
This book is worth one thousand therapy sessions!

I'm not trying to be fancy with words; I'm just writing from the heart. I knew I was too smart to stay in another bad relationship, but I was also too needy to leave. So, I bought the book before the breakup. Wow! It gave me the strength to get through without taking the easy way out and going back to him.

The book boosted my confidence, prevented bitterness and resentment for the ex and, most importantly, made me realize that my problems, whether they were his fault or not, were no longer important to him.

I filled my phone with text notes of mantras from the book. It SAVED me!

Another book that I found extremely helpful to pave the way for a healthier future was "The 7 DUMBEST Relationship Mistakes SMART People Make. You see, I learned that we all have needs and that's ok, but being needy isn't.

I wish you well! =)
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
on August 21, 2013
My 5th period Language Arts teacher in my middle school is Kristina De La Cal. No joke. She brought in a copy and read some to us. Even though we don't need to read this yet we asked her to bring a copy into class. So she did and I thought there was some good advice in there. I think the parts that she read to us were great. I think it is good enough that I can recommend this to others!
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