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5.0 out of 5 stars
An Enlightening Look at the Painful Process of Divorce, May 30, 2010
This review is from: Breakup (Paperback)
Having never experienced divorce, Breakup was a new experience for me. Nonetheless, author Leo Averbach allowed me to share the incredibly painful process of divorce through his gritty memoir. Averbach experiences a loss so deep and personal that it is hard to imagine. This story told through Leo's journal shares the process he, his ex wife, and the children go through before the final act of divorce that eventually releases the family to heal.
The language is raw and at times acrid, as Averbach details his life's downward spiral on learning that his wife is having an affair. He vacillates between trying to save the marriage, love for his wife and wanting her out of his life. The emotional turmoil is real and heartrending.
Averbach's wife, Paula, moves out of their home leaving Leo and the children behind. She also struggles with the decision on whether to turn her back on her marriage and family, or give up her newfound love and save her marriage and home. Paula exhibits bitterness and anger with frequent outbursts directed at Leo. His responses range from passive aggressive to outright rage.
Breakup relates the couple's journey through various therapy sessions both together and separately, as well as their few, futile attempts at reconciliation. As the Averbach's relationship crumbles, the family's home environment becomes acrimonious. Through it all, Leo's journal entries give us a very genuine and unprocessed glimpse of the inner turmoil that divorce can have on a person's self image and ego.
For those going through the process of letting go of your marriage, and enduring the painful process of separation, this book is enlightening. The path to healing is often a long and painful struggle but Leo Averbach tells us in Breakup: Enduring Divorce that it is possible. As Marcel Proust points out "We are healed of a suffering only by experiencing it in full." Leo Averbach relates the process of experiencing the hurt, anger, and pain of betrayal and loss in full and uncut.
Reviewed by Deborah L. Baker for Reader's Choice Book Reviews
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5.0 out of 5 stars
Breakup-One mans story of leaving divorce land, June 7, 2010
This review is from: Breakup (Paperback)
I recently read the book Breakup, by Leo Averbach. It is an actual diary or journal he kept as he was going through ending his marriage.
I was first intrigued by this book, because it was written by a man who had gone through a divorce and thought it would be nice to see divorce through the eyes of a man. And there is not many of these books out there.
And I was correct, it was a fascinating book. I know many people struggle horribly to figure out if they can breakup a family. And then they continue to struggle with how to leave divorce land after the breakup is final. And Leo gives us a day by day account of what exactly was going through his mind. He wrote this book as the breakup was happening.
So one will see how agonizing divorce is. In his book, he tells of how it was affecting his kids. He tells how he dealt with his wife's other lover, and why he chose to stay married so long. Many people have the miss guided theory, people wake up one morning and decide they want a divorce and walk out the door. But I feel in reality the decision to breakup your family, is something you do contemplate for years.
After I started this book, I immediately started thinking about a couple of people on my Facebook page who are struggling to decide if they want a divorce or if they want to try again and make their marriage work. They seem to be in a similar situation as Leo was, in that he could not find the strength to end a marriage he knew in his heart was not right for him. And as I read the book, it seemed so clear to me the marriage was over but he just kept trying. I found myself telling him, just end it. You can do better. Stop torturing yourself.
So if you are one of those people who are having a really hard time making the decision to end your marriage. This book would be great for you. I think it will give you perspective to see, you are not the only one who struggles to make this live changing decision. And it just might help you make the decision you have been putting off for years.
This book was a look into a marriage that looked good from the outside, but on the inside was a complete mess. I would recommend this book to anyone who wants to know they are not alone in deciding to breakup a family.
Leo, thank you so much for sharing your book with me. It was insightful, and so real, I know sharing your story was not an easy thing, but in doing so you are helping so many other people who, I am sure struggle with the question, "Can I breakup this family?"
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