Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.
In May of 1994 I was diagnosed with breast cancer. As you might suspect I was pretty devastated by hearing this result from a routine mammogram. I cried almost non-stop for about 24 hours and then I took back some control. The way I did this was to talk to anyone I knew who had breast cancer, or anyone acquainted with someone who had breast cancer. I called local support groups and I bought out book stores on the subject. I wanted to learn as much as I could so that I could make informed decisions regarding surgeries and treatments.
Prior to this diagnosis I knew that breast cancer existed, but my thoughts, if any on the subject, were that it was a disease which happened to other women and not to me. I now look back on my naivety and ignorance in amazement.
I was single, dating and I danced a lot. My life was a happy one, and it was quite full. I didn't want to have cancer. I didn't have time to have cancer. But to tell you the truth, I now look at it as a gift. Because of my diagnosis I have met many wonderful women around the United States who are also breast cancer survivors. By using my computer and online services I connected with other survivors. We now have an America Online breast cancer support group. We call each other, "Breast Cancer Sisters". As we travel around the country for business and pleasure we meet in person. In June of 1997 a group of us from various states, and in different stages of breast cancer met for the first time in person in Reading, Pennsylvania for a long weekend. It was such a success that we plan to hold a reunion each year in different parts of the country. I love these women beyond words.
Also, because of my diagnosis my perspective on life changed radically. Ever since I learned how to read, I had wanted to become a published author. I always wrote, but considered it my therapy and for my eyes only. Now I go after all of my dreams. I truly realize how short life really is.
In 1996 my first book, Courage & Cancer A Breast Cancer Diary A Journey from Cancer to Cure became available in major book stores. Since then I have traveled around the country promoting my book and breast cancer awareness. Again, through this project I have met many wonderful people.
My biggest fear in life had always been speaking in public to any group larger than one. Now I do feel that same fear, but I do it anyway.
Breast cancer has given me a much more satisfying life. I like who I have become since being diagnosed. The poetry in this book is very simple, but written from my heart. It will never be known as great literature but do you know what? That doesn't matter. If it speaks to you, then I consider it successful.
Much love,
Marilyn R. Moody
January 1998
