Customer Reviews

Breeder: Real-Life Stories from the New Generation of Mothers

5 star:		(42)
4 star:		(2)
3 star:		(1)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(12)

 

 

I think new mothers are some of the loneliest, most isolated people on earth. We can be found sitting in our comfortable rocking chairs, nursing our babes, and wondering why nobody bothered to tell us what motherhood was really like. Why nobody told us about the fear, the mind-jarring joy, the emotional intensity, and why nobody told us about the way that becoming mothers would forever change us. Most of the new mothers I know are searching for voices, looking for someone or something who can articulate what they are going through, trying to find someone to tell them that what they are feeling is not only normal and okay, but also as profound as we suspect it to be.

That's why a book like Breeder is so important. It's a collection of essays by a collection of young mothers (and one dad) who have a lot of truth to tell. It covers everything from the ambivalence a newly pregnant woman deals with (""Will" by Min Jin Lee) to the penetrating love and connection a teen mother feels even before her child is born ("When I Was Garbage" by Allison Crews). There is the story of the mother who sat vigil over her baby in the neonatal unit at a New York City hospital ("Neonatal Sweet Potato" by Ayun Halliday) and the story of a mother who discovered the ferocity and power of giving birth in her own home ("Birth" by Angela Morill). There are some very funny stories: "Pinworm Patrol" by Gayle Brandeis covers one of the dirtier, more necessary chores of motherhood, and should be required reading for anyone with romantic visions of sleeping cherub children with flushed cheeks and golden curls, and "Baby Vibe" by Julie Jamison is a hilarious story of the way a mother's sexuality can be compromised by the innocent things her child may do. These are women who are dealing with the high expectations society puts on them today, who are working both toward their dreams and turning their backs on the expected path. In "Progress" Coleen Murphy writes about dropping out of college to become a stay-at-home-mom to her two boys. She writes about a disapproving friend who keeps asking when she will get her life back in order and go back to school:

"So," he said brightly, "when these two little guys are a few years older, you'll be thinking of school again, and you can go finish up and head on to law school."

I hesitated. What the hell," I thought, might as well be honest. "The thing is, I'm pretty sure I want to have more children." You could have heard a pin drop.

These essays are frank, ballsy, and fresh. They are honest, funny and fierce. They are inspiring, complex, and deeply moving. They made this writer (and new mother) breath a sigh of recognition and relief; we mothers are not alone, and we have something very important to say.

This book was recommended to me by a friend who is hipper (or perhaps weirder, depending on your point of view) than I am. The quality of writing in this book is very high, and I enjoyed reading each piece. For me, the most moving parts were the bits about very universal feelings of joy, fear, anger, pain, etc. The specific situations the authors found themselves in frequently seemed quite foreign to me, but I read it very quickly and found myself quite absorbed. For me, I think "Mothers Who Think: Tales of Real-Life Parenthood" hit closer to home.

I'd expected friends who are more conservative than I am to find little to relate to, but one of my most conventional friends (who recently suffered a miscarriage) was moved to tears by an account of a similar story in Breeder. After hearing how much this story moved my friend, I changed my mind and sent the book to my mother, who I'd initially thought would be too distracted by the specific situations and attitudes of the authors to enjoy the book. No word back from my mother yet!

I think the moral is that there's something for everyone in this very well-written book. I applaud the editors for compiling stories to encourage mothers to give themselves a break, and for providing a much more diverse set of parent role models than mainstream publications do.

Despite reading the 'anti' reviews, I bought myself a copy. I soon realised that the people who posted such vitriolic reviews had were merely posting as an excuse to air their anti-child views. Whatever. I am a suburban 40 year old mother with a child. I would say that I am 'less than hip' and probably fall outside the marketing target for this book. But I found the stories to be insightful, engaging and full of humour. I nodded my head many times in understanding and have recommended it to mothers in my circle of friends as a way to open up discussion. The beauty of this book is that it is universally appealing to all women who have had children. The stories are fresh and witty - and make you feel that you are not alone. I highly recommend it to any woman who is thinking of having children, or who already has them. You don't have to be hip to love this book.

As the author of a book of stories about pregnancy (Pregnancy Stories) and an avid reader about books on the subject of motherhood, I am overwhelmed with enthusiasm for this amazing, provocative, and impressive collection. There is no other book that presents motherhood in such depth and with such honesty, insight, and diversity and for that I think every mother must read Breeder. Let it be said that I am probably seven to ten years older than most of the Breeder contributors. However, this age difference didn't make the book any less relevant or validating to me. I have already purchased it as a gift for several friends and I urge all Moms to read these essays. Within them you will find support for and insight into the ideas, emotions, worries and joys that mothers grapple with constantly. Brava to these mamas for giving us something so necessary and so refreshing.

It's not often we (and we know who we are!) get a chance to say "Hey, me too! What she said!" This great new collection of personal stories gave me so many opportunities to laugh, cry and sigh in agreement, that my husband was distracted from his reading of Rolling Stone a number of times to ask me "What now?" He ended up reading some of the essays, and found that they spoke for him as well.

There are so many things about parenting that don't change, generation to generation. But Breeder is full of experiences I could relate to, and it was written in my native language! What's not to love? When is the next one coming out, Ms. Gore?

So many books about the experience of being a mother make a lot of assumptions. The mothers portrayed are often from mainstream, white america living in comfy surburbia with Mr Right. What sets Breeder apart from the beginning is that the reader will find all races within its pages, all income brackets and all manner of families. Breeder is chock full of original voices, from the mother-to-be studying Buddhism in India, to the counterculture back-to-the-land daughter laying down roots for her own family, from the performance poet who writes on the back of envelopes whilst cradling an infant to the mother who races heart in mouth to her child's day care center which has been the target of a bomb threat. This powerful, moving, and often laugh-out-loud funny book reinforces what savvy moms have known all the time - that mothers are a creative powerhouse of ideas, wit, action and, above all, love.

Breeder could not have existed before now. The voices of these women - mothers in poverty, [lesbian] mamas, single moms, pregnant teens - have never been acknowledged so widely, with such celebration. Breeder, like HipMama the zine before it, gives voice to those who would otherwise not be heard. Those of us who can relate to "outsider" status have something to assure us we are not alone. Those of us who fit the more conventional mothering mold can experience the other side and realize all mothers have certain things in common. The women in Breeder may or may not be your next-door neighbor, but you'll have a lot of fun hanging out with them through their stories.

Even the mothers who are not obviously disenfranchised from larger society have something new to say about mothering and how one can be a kickass mother and still be a whole and interesting person besides. The women in Breeder tell their stories with truth, humor, and love. If these women represent the New Generation, the future looks bright indeed.

This breathtaking collection deserves a place on the nightstand of every politician, educator and health provider whose actions have direct bearing on today's families. If ever there was a myth-busting anthology, this is it. Ardent teenage mothers, homemaking lesbians, fully baked adults struggling to hang onto the coattails of their identity when the world seems to insist they give it up for the good of the children - the June Cleavers are few and far between in Generation X. Mothers of all ages will nod with recognition over the tedium, joy and heartbreak of the office, but it's the specifics that draw the reader in. Think that woman with a baby in her backpack pushing a toddler's stroller down the street is 'just' a mom, so generic she hardly rates a first glance? Think again, pal. These women have secret stories to share on pinworms and hitchhiking, surfboards and spinal taps. With Breeder the secret is out. Somebody get a copy to George Bush. I think he'll find it very illuminating.

Finally a book I can relate to. This is an excellant choice for any mother or mother to be. I loved this book.

Breeder: Real Life Stories from the New Generation of Mothers is a collection of essays that will inspire and provoke parents who are free thinking individuals. If you are the type of parent who doesn't seem to fit in with all the other moms and/or dads at the playground, this book is for you. If you hate being told stories by parents who talk down to you and tell you how to raise your child, this book is for you. The contributors take life-changing events; such as adoption and birth and tell their stories in ways that will make you think about how you view your life. I loved reading "Breeder" and can't wait until the next collection of essys is complete. I strongly recommend it to all parents who want to be challenged to use their brains, and their hearts.