The Bride Wore Red: Tales of a Cross-Cultural Family [Hardcover]

Robbie Clipper Sethi (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: April 17, 1996

The Bride Wore Red chronicles an extended Indian family and its intercultural marriages in the United States. It's about a universal immigrant experience: loyalty to heritage versus a desire to assimilate. A Barnes & Noble Discover Great New Writers selection.

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

In this debut collection of bittersweet, interconnected stories, primarily detailing three Anglo-Indian marriages, Sethi shows off her versatility. Bridging East and West, she spans time as well. The trajectory of Sally's experiences begins with the title story, in which she travels to Delhi for her wedding in 1975, and ends, 20 years later, in New Jersey, with "The White Widow," in which Sally says good-bye to her Indian in-laws after the death of her husband. Standouts include "Doctor Doktor," in which the widow Mataji's American daughter-in-law takes her to see a California shrink, who, it turns out, is from Bombay and has his own share of problems that derive from "being caught between two worlds." In "The White-Haired Girl," the funniest and most successful story, Mataji, attempting to avert a union between her son and the thoroughly modern Goodie, decides to engage in some creative matchmaking. Finally, in "Missing Persons," her virtuoso performance, Sethi wildly leans back and forth between India and America, maintaining a high-wire act rife with authorial intrusions that are at once self-conscious and daringly intriguing. If at times Sethi tries to do too much, exposing the inherent frustrations in imposing one's own cultural sensibilities on others, it's a far less punishable offense than being satisfied with skating by on too little.
Copyright 1996 Reed Business Information, Inc.

From Library Journal

Sethi's (English, Rider Univ.) first collection of short stories takes up the subject of the cross-cultural marriages of men from New Delhi to European American women and the ensuing harmonies and difficulties between the couples and among the extended families. The stories, both humorous and poignant, paint a pessimistic picture of the possibilities for the success of these marriages due to conflicting cultural practices and expectations. In "Missing Persons," Sethi experiments by presenting the reader with several possible scenarios in which ethnicity, sex, sexual orientation, and motive are exchanged between husband and wife to alter the story's conclusion. This engaging collection is recommended for all libraries.?Rebecca A. Stuhr-Rommereim, Grinnell Coll. Libs., Ia
Copyright 1996 Reed Business Information, Inc.

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Product Details

• Hardcover: 216 pages
• Publisher: Bridgeworks; 1st edition (April 17, 1996)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1882593146
• ISBN-13: 978-1882593149
• Product Dimensions: 8.1 x 4.8 x 1 inches
• Shipping Weight: 11 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 2.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (12 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #4,043,588 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

14 of 17 people found the following review helpful:

1.0 out of 5 stars Misunderstandings, December 30, 1999

By 

Meredith Mani (Washington, DC) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: The Bride Wore Red (Paperback)

The Bride Wore Red is full of misconceptions and barely disguised racism. The author obviously feels superior to the Indians she is writting about. I am not sure whether she is attempting to be funny or if her experiences were really so aweful that she could not write about any positive aspects to the culture. I am amazed that she is actually married to an Indian man. I purchased this book because I specifically wanted to read about Indian-American marriages and relationships. I don't feel like I did. She wrapped herself around every stereotype I have ever heard about Indians. I'm shocked she didn't have the audacity to name one of her characters 'Abu'. She missed the simplest of Indian traits- both in terms of personalities and in terminology. Not once did she mention the term "Auntie" which Indians use as a term of respect for older women. My analysis of that would be because she herself lacks resepect for the role of women in Indian society. I would never suggest this book to anyone. It's misunderstandings leave one feeling like there are few, if any, redeeming qualities to Indians.

4 of 4 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars painfully honest but short on compassion, August 3, 1998

By A Customer

This review is from: The Bride Wore Red (Paperback)

Robbie Clipper Sethi writes well. Her images are powerful and vivid. Her brutal honesty is refreshing to someone like me (an Indian who grew up in the U.S. and married an American man. I escaped the suffocating presence and expectations of Indian in-laws). However, most of her stories lack compassion for the Indian paradigm of family. I may have avoided the "down-side" of the extended family network but I am also missing out on the love, support and togetherness of an extended Indian family. Also, not all families are so difficult, ethnocentric, egocentric and--basically crazy. This book is a great starting point but clearly there are many more stories to tell.

3 of 3 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Not Racist, Honest but with Humor, January 4, 2006

By 

Only Me I Am (Boston, MA) - See all my reviews

This review is from: The Bride Wore Red (Paperback)

I was really surprised to see so many comments here use the word "Racist" and "sterotypical". I do not agree with any of those comments and found this book honest with humor spread throughout. I am an anthropologist and have made my life work on North India. In the span of many years working both in India and the USA I have come in contact with many cross-cultural Indian/American marriages, including my own. My own marriage has had its cultural misunderstandings and differences but I have been extremely lucky in many regards. I can not say the same for many of the Indian/American couples I have met along the way. Many of this author's stories echo their own. It is interesting to note that I read Indian authors extensively and have found a far harsher look at Indian culture through their own books yet I do not see anyone claiming they are racist. Is it possible that it is ok to make these statements only if you are Indian, rather than someone who has married into an Indian family? I am not trying to get a fight started here but I do beleive that the criticisms I have read are very unfair to this author. I actually recommend this book for anyone who is Non-Indian marrying into a NORTH Indian family, be it Sikh or Hindu. Thanks for reading!