193 of 216 people found the following review helpful:
3.0 out of 5 stars
Disappointing: 'Do as I say, not as I do?', July 28, 2004
I used to love Richard Bach's books -- 'Illusions' and 'JLS' were both wonderful and had a huge impact on me as a child. I even enjoyed this book when it first came out in hardcover -- I was an idealistic teenager (and much more forgiving). But now as a 30something woman, in repurchasing the paperback again recently, I was really surprised at how terribly Richard Bach comes off as a character in his own book -- he's simply awful. Narcissistic, rude, smug, complacent, womanizing, and frankly just a ginormous jerk who's way too proud of his own 'humility' and 'growth.' I could barely get through the book this time out, I was so appalled at his behavior.
As others have commented, I was however equally reminded of what an amazing person Leslie Parrish seems to be. What's sad to me in re-reading it this past year, with all my own illusions a bit more dented by adulthood (and with the knowledge that Bach left his beautiful and intelligent 'soulmate' after twenty years of marriage because she wanted to live a grownup life and he didn't), is how obvious it is that Bach didn't learn from his own story, his own lessons -- even while congratulating himself nonstop on his 'evolution'.
While I once bought a lot more of his books (and ideas) than I do now, with their pretty words and ideas and metaphors, the fact is that Bach is writing books on how to live when he has no idea how to do it himself. This is a man who left his first wife and six children without a backward glance, and womanizes his way through the next decade or two, finally (and undeservedly) ends up with a fantastic person in Leslie Parrish -- only to leave her as well and move along to the next young cutie.
So it's kind of creepy to know this, then to read 'Bridge' -- his big epiphany, his big learning experience -- and realize that the man barely mentions his kids at all. They just don't seem to exist to him. So in this book, for YEARS, he's flying planes, bedding women, spending money, yet he seems to have no ties at all to people, friends, family, children, loved ones, etc. beyond the often anonymous sex -- and using cutesy poetic Yoda-isms and smarmy New Age language to do so ('So beautiful, you are' etc), as if that will make the situations any less skeevy or manipulative.
I know many fans are angry at Bach for his seeming betrayal of the very 'soulmate' values he preached, and frankly I don't blame them. Not because I'm personally invested in celebrity relationships (LOL), but because I really do feel that if he is putting himself out there as a character, saying, 'Learn from me, live like me,' that he should be willing to put his money where his mouth is. In other words, if as he later admitted in an interview that 'everything in [Bridge Across Forever] might be wrong,' then maybe we shouldn't buy it at all. (Note: Ironically, it's evident from Parrish's very moving and poignant early goodbye letter to Bach, mid-book, that she herself had already learned all those lessons. So skip this drivel on soulmates and save your dollars for when Leslie finally writes a book. At least it would be written by someone who did what they said, and practiced what they preached.)
Sorry to rant. But even a cursory review of this man's life reveals that Bach's love of flight begins to look a lot less like a metaphor than fact, and is nothing people should learn from: He seems to leave everything he loves eventually, even while constantly preaching treacly 'soulmate' and 'eternal love' concepts at us to get our cash. It's very sad to me. I once took this book very literally -- now I realize the one person who needed to learn from its lessons was the author himself. Sad to hear he didn't.
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16 of 17 people found the following review helpful:
2.0 out of 5 stars
Worth owning and reading for Leslie's letter, June 5, 2001
By A Customer
Leslie Parrish nails it when she writes, "Obviously, the development section is anathema to you. For it is where you may discover that all you have is a collection of severely limited ideas." Richard Bach's books "simply state and restate and restate themselves." He tends to seek magical solutions outside of himself, rather than plow within himself to unearth new and deep truths.
The best part of "The Bridge Across Forever," well worth the price of the book, is Leslie's letter to Richard. Is it a treasure to which I have returned many times over the years. And it is no wonder that Leslie and Richard are divorced, for Leslie nailed it right the first time.
"The Bridge Across Forever" is well worth reading for Leslie's perceptive analysis of the state of their relationship. It is interesting to read Richard's response to her insight, and at the same time tragic, for ultimately, he never gets it. He returns to his same old habits of denial and wishful thinking. "You are one of the most selfish people I have ever known," Leslie says. "I've needed my anger to keep you from trampling right over me, to let both of us know when enough is enough ... It is by NOT always thinking of yourself, if you can manage it, that you might someday be happy. Until you make room in your life for someone as important to you as yourself, you will always be lonely and searching and lost."
"Richard, how do you get someone to look around the corner when he hasn't reached it yet? I'd give anything if you could see what's there for us ... But if it's out of sight for you, I guess it doesn't exist, does it? Even if I'm looking at it, it's not really there."
"The Bridge Across Forever" is a story of both hope and, ultimately, despair. "We have both had a vision of something wonderful that awaits us," Leslie writes. "Yet we cannot get there from here. I am faced with a solid wall of defenses and you have the need to build still more. I long for the richness and fullness of further development, and you will search for ways t avoid it as long as we're together. Both of us are frustrated; you unable to go back, I unable to go forward, in a constant state of struggle, with clouds and dark shadows over the limited time you allow us."
Leslie's insight is a great gift. It is inspiring to witness her face her fear of flying, and despairing to watch Richard pride himself in being her flying instructor, yet never use her courage to support his own fear of flying in relationships. He tries, he gets off the ground, but he can't sustain the flight. Well worth the read, however, as a lesson in dysfunctional relationships founded on wishful and blithe thinking as opposed to courage and mutual commitment toward growth.
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12 of 12 people found the following review helpful:
3.0 out of 5 stars
More of the same?, June 20, 2003
By A Customer
Not being a consistant reader,very few topics peak my interest. When the often overused word "soulmate" comes up though I often follow. Having experienced meeting a soulmate once (so far)in my 41 years is by far a gift. Before reading this book I did read the reveiws and that Richard had indeed divorced his soulmate. Not passing judgement I read with eager anticipation of past experiences of love deeper than any words could describe. I was not happy that when shopping for the book ,it was in the fiction area. I would want to hear truths and facts not opinion's of how it should be,after all I have been there. The book was a slow start and I waited to be awakened to that wonderful place deeper than the heart and harder to find than bigfoot! I did not find this in a well written but rather vanilla book about the faults and convictions of love between two people. I am not faulting Richard for the later divorce as life is a constant reminder of stress and balence. Its not easy for anyone. I did catch a deep appreciation of preserverance from Leslie and a rather immature Richard throughout there romance. There are no answers when it comes to "the five ways to find your soulmate" if there was we would all be happy and there. This book lacked the deepness that I felt in a relationship with my soulmate. I understand we are all different,that my story can not be his. Perhaps another read will give me more food for thought? I will give it a try. Good luck finding your soulmate he/she does exsist,often there are meny people that could be in ones life time. Good luck to Richard and Leslie.........peace
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