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Most Helpful Customer Reviews
111 of 116 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Answers The Question Of "Why" From Many Angles,
By
This review is from: A Bright Red Scream: Self-Mutilation and the Language of Pain (Paperback)
Now in my mid-30's, I bought this book after seeing the movie Secretary and recognizing myself as a teen in the main character of the movie. Although, in my case, I overcame my urges to self-injure (in ways other than cutting, which this book addresses) on my own and through the process of maturation and some very focused self-examination in my 20's, I still found myself fascinated as to why I, or any person, would resort to self-mutilation as a way to feel relief and a temporary sense of peace since the act and the resulting feelings seem so incredibly incongruent. This book took me back and allowed me to see and understand myself in ways I never expected and far beyond what I had already ascertained self-mutilation was about based on my own self-understanding. It also allowed me to see where I still lean toward the behavior in subtle, almost undetectable ways even though I have been under the impression for over 15 years that I no longer "act out" or would be considered a self-mutilator.The book is extremely well written and researched and the case studies sited enable the reader to identify - whether you are or were a self-injurer yourself or know someone who is. The author suggests many reasons why self-mutilators do what they do, why and how this gamut of behaviors addresses crucial needs they have and why it isn't as easy to refrain from when a loved one who doesn't really understand says, "Stop that!" Strong explains the behavior from psychological, emotional, spiritual, physical, chemical, environmental and medical perspectives so that one can gain a full and well rounded picture of self-mutilation, it's causes and it's effects - both overt and obvious as well as subtle and nearly imperceptible. The most startling revelation I experienced while reading this book - which is a page turner in and of itself - is that I had the impression that I was somehow unique and special in the fact that I was a self-mutilator (because it is such a personal method of self-expression often shrouded in cultivated secrecy and privacy on the part of the self-mutilator) and that I managed to overcome my urges by finally learning how to feel my feelings and address my issues in healthier ways as "normal" people do. This book, however, made me realize that it was almost formula pre-destiny based on the circumstances of my upbringing that would serve as the basis and foundation for the ways I acted out down the road in my teenage years. I was left with the sense that, given all the criteria of what makes a injurer an injurer, I almost had no choice but to do what I did in order to survive and cope - and the act IS a form of survival and coping when you are given the message while growing up that control and perfection is crucial and any overt, yet healthy and normal, form of emotional expression is not okay for whatever reason. This realization made me a bit angry for a time and left me feeling that the path I'd taken in life that I thought was of my own free will was actually one that was chosen for me, in a sense, by those who had a hand in my upbringing; that what I had spent years attempting to address and overcome was actually something I may not have had to address at all had my formative years and childhood been different because, quite simply, self-mutilation is an effect of a cause. I was left wondering what else I may have done with my time and energy had I not had to grapple with this because, for many years, it was a behavior that consumed me - both in the doing of it and then, later, the overcoming of it. Self-mutilation isn't something people just choose to do without reason or without a deep-seated basis of history that, in a strange way, actually supports the behavior. This book sheds illuminating light on how and why self-mutilators develop into who they are and why they do what they do and it also makes a strong case as to why this is not an act that suggest suicidal tendencies as many suspect, but rather an extreme way of trying to stay alive and save ones own life by expressing emotions, as all humans need to do, in a secretive way that prevents backlash from those around the person who have made it clear that the normal path of expression is not acceptable. For anyone who self-mutilates and wishes to understand themselves on some very deep levels in order to gain insight - which in and of itself may generate the path toward overcoming the behavior, although some suggestions for treatment and help are given in the book - or those who know and love a person who self-mutilates but doesn't quite understand why they do what they do, thus far I have read no other book that addresses the issue better than this one does and cannot recommend it enough.
24 of 25 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
I couldn't stop reading it,
By A Customer
This review is from: A Bright Red Scream: Self-Mutilation and the Language of Pain (Paperback)
OK, it's a subject most of my friends don't want to know anything about. That's why I don't tell them I am a cutter. I discovered I am not alone about four years ago. Although I read another "ok" book on cutting, I just got Marilee Strong's book in paperback because some people in my support group really raved over it. I cried a couple of times reading it, but I couldn't put it down. I feel like someone understands us besides just the "shrink talk" that just tries to put things in neat little unreal boxes. Marilee goes way inside what cutting is about. She doesn't gloss over things and she doesn't seem to act like we should all just "get better" really quickly or "just stop it already"! I'm just a cutter and I'm not a shrink, but I think this person really "gets it." If you are a cutter or if you know someone or just want to understand what it's really like for us, this book will turn your head around.
23 of 24 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
i found myself in a book,
By A Customer
This review is from: A Bright Red Scream: Self-Mutilation and the Language of Pain (Paperback)
It was quite by accident that I found this book. I am still healing from the last time I cut myself in an effort to get the pain out. I believed I was suicidal (maybe I still am) but now I know that there are others who feel the same. Ms Strong's book explained to the smallest detail all the things happening to me, and helped me feel less of a freak. Not only does this book help people who mutilate themselves to understand why they do it, but she gives great advise on steps to take to move toward ending the nightmare. This book does not condemn cutters or label them as crazy or disgusting. It doesn't even say that we must stop the slashing that sometimes saves our lives. It is written to inform that there are many, many people hurting so badly on the inside that they must see their pain in the form of blood being discharged from their own bodies, and by offering concrete ways of stopping the pain. I found "A Bright Red Scream" difficult to put down because it was as though I saw myself actually being seen as me for the first time. I became upset in parts of the book where I learned that we don't always want to give up our ways of dealing because we don't want to do the work, or that we have become attached to what we know works for us. If I am going to be honest with myself, I know these are true statements, at least in my case. I am grateful for this insight.
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