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243 of 257 people found the following review helpful:
3.0 out of 5 stars
I never thought I would enjoy a book by James Dobson, December 28, 2003
By A Customer
This review is from: Bringing Up Boys: Practical Advice and Encouragement for Those Shaping the Next Generation of Men (Hardcover)
Let me start off by saying I am no conservative Christian. My husband bought this book for me as a sort of last-minute Christmas gift and he had no idea who James Dobson was. But hey, I'll read anything so I gave it a try. I found myself agreeing with quite a few of his points, mainly about how our culture has become frantic, overscheduled, overworked, and how our children are the losers when parents become less involved in their lives and more involved in their own. He points out how kids who eat dinner with their parents on a regular basis seem to have fewer problems with the law, drugs, etc. He also talks about how popluar culture has become ever more toxic, something we must struggle to help our children cope with or protect them from it. I agree with all of these things, even though I'm considerably more on the liberal end of the spectrum. At the core of the book (because it is about boys) is that this lack of parental involvement is harder on boys because they naturally need more supervision and guidance than girls to make good decisions. I really enjoyed reading his descriptions of how boys are more active and physical than girls because it gave me some insight into why my three year old loves running in circles roaring, then falling to the ground waving his legs in the air. The book gave me a lot of insight into how boys "work" and I think it will make me worry a lot less that my kid has something wrong with him if he finds it hard to sit still during Mass. I skimmed over some of the chapter on homosexuality, enough to know I was going to have to agree to disagree with him on that one. However, I was surprised that his tone in that chapter was full of sympathy for the kid who thinks he's gay, although his opinion of what to do about it differs from mine. His opinions of feminism I both agreed and disagreed with. To say the early feminists only had great ideas and no loony ones is to simplify a movement that was important but also very complex, and which has had good and bad lasting changes on our society. I will probably check his notes and read some of the writings he refers to to see if he put his own spin and opinion on these quotes or if he is reporting these womens' opinions accurately. I also skipped throught the last chapter, which basically says that Christianity is the only religion that satisfactorily answers all the questions about why are we here and what are we supposed to do. And finally, to address a couple of critiscims I read in the bad reviews. While he does believe in a stricter brand of discipline than is politically correct right now and probably has more faith in spaking than I personally do, I never got the impression that he thought you should be whacking your kids around all day, in fact much the opposite. He advocates keeping your cool, your patience, punishing when you need to but avoid constantly punishing and criticizing your child. I agree when he says we're the parents and we do need to assert our authority. And as for having a parent at home, well, I made the decision to be a stay at home mom because I saw value in having a parent at home and fighting against the hectic lifestyles that are becoming the norm in our society. So I basically agree with him on this one. But he DOES say that he knows some women need to work for financial reasons or EMOTIONAL ones, and he hopes that if you do work that you make the effort to stay connected with your kids and find stable child care for them. So...I enjoyed the book, learned a lot about boys, and kept my anger at differing opinions in check by skipping over those parts and knowing that I wasn't going to agree lockstep with all that Mr. Dobson had to say. But overall I think it's a good insight into our sons especially for those of us moms who were calm girly girls.
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129 of 137 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars
Of course you won't like this book, January 15, 2008
Having read a dozen or more negative reviews my conclusion is that they generally just come down to a disagreement on Dobson's view of certain issues, and not the meat of the book per say. These issues could be summarized in, the breakdown of the traditional family, misunderstanding of gender roles, and the effeminizing of males in our society. The majority of people who will negatively review this book are those who already disagree with it ideologically from the get-go.
The thing about "Bringing up Boys" is that it does not hit solely on the problem of radical feminism and homosexuality as it's main premise (despite what you may be led to believe by reading 1 and/or 2 star reviews), although it does highlight them in some areas as the main instigators of a deeper societal problem. The book actually focuses more on the importance of self-esteem, protecting your children from psychological abuse (i.e. teasing), self-control, the effects of violent media, the importance of positive role models, and highlighting the positive strengths of being male.
What you will get in this book is a world-view for raising boys. Despite what you may have been told, it is not about legalism, sexism, intolerance, "papal" obeisance, or whatever else you equate to religion, but instead a greater awareness of who your son is, through a Christian understanding of love, acceptance, and self-worth.
My advice is:
1. If you detest Christian worldview, then don't buy this book - it will rankle your skin
2. If you think you might disagree with something but can be an honest ideologist then eat the meat and spit out the "bones" - there's plenty of meat.
3. If you've read other Dobson material and/or believe in what Focus on the Family is doing then you will probably like this book - if nothing else, it will push you towards praying for your children and your country.
Lastly, I read several other posts by single parents who felt alienated by the books focus on the "nuclear family" (mom and dad). It's too bad the book felt so condemning for you. I would advise that you go to the Dobson's website and do a search on single parenting, where you will find several articles/books/CD's with help for what you are looking for.
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38 of 43 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
One of Two Books I Suggest To Parents of Boys, December 17, 2001
By A Customer
This review is from: Bringing Up Boys: Practical Advice and Encouragement for Those Shaping the Next Generation of Men (Hardcover)
This book gives great information to the new parent or the seasoned parent on the issue of raising boys. I work with hundreds of parents throughout the year and specialize in very active boys and girls. "Bringing Up Boys" offers great tips and advice that give you a new perspective on understanding your child. Get "The Child Whisperer" by Matt Pasquinilli as a simple aproach to communicating effectively with any child, but most especially with boys. "The Child Whisperer" has simple steps to follow and you will find that both books really compliment each other.
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