Customer Reviews

Bringing Up Boys: Practical Advice and Encouragement for Those Shaping the Next Generation of Men

5 star:		(151)
4 star:		(20)
3 star:		(12)
2 star:		(20)
1 star:		(81)

 

 

Let me start off by saying I am no conservative Christian. My husband bought this book for me as a sort of last-minute Christmas gift and he had no idea who James Dobson was. But hey, I'll read anything so I gave it a try.

I found myself agreeing with quite a few of his points, mainly about how our culture has become frantic, overscheduled, overworked, and how our children are the losers when parents become less involved in their lives and more involved in their own. He points out how kids who eat dinner with their parents on a regular basis seem to have fewer problems with the law, drugs, etc. He also talks about how popluar culture has become ever more toxic, something we must struggle to help our children cope with or protect them from it. I agree with all of these things, even though I'm considerably more on the liberal end of the spectrum.

At the core of the book (because it is about boys) is that this lack of parental involvement is harder on boys because they naturally need more supervision and guidance than girls to make good decisions. I really enjoyed reading his descriptions of how boys are more active and physical than girls because it gave me some insight into why my three year old loves running in circles roaring, then falling to the ground waving his legs in the air. The book gave me a lot of insight into how boys "work" and I think it will make me worry a lot less that my kid has something wrong with him if he finds it hard to sit still during Mass.

I skimmed over some of the chapter on homosexuality, enough to know I was going to have to agree to disagree with him on that one. However, I was surprised that his tone in that chapter was full of sympathy for the kid who thinks he's gay, although his opinion of what to do about it differs from mine. His opinions of feminism I both agreed and disagreed with. To say the early feminists only had great ideas and no loony ones is to simplify a movement that was important but also very complex, and which has had good and bad lasting changes on our society. I will probably check his notes and read some of the writings he refers to to see if he put his own spin and opinion on these quotes or if he is reporting these womens' opinions accurately. I also skipped throught the last chapter, which basically says that Christianity is the only religion that satisfactorily answers all the questions about why are we here and what are we supposed to do.

And finally, to address a couple of critiscims I read in the bad reviews. While he does believe in a stricter brand of discipline than is politically correct right now and probably has more faith in spaking than I personally do, I never got the impression that he thought you should be whacking your kids around all day, in fact much the opposite. He advocates keeping your cool, your patience, punishing when you need to but avoid constantly punishing and criticizing your child. I agree when he says we're the parents and we do need to assert our authority. And as for having a parent at home, well, I made the decision to be a stay at home mom because I saw value in having a parent at home and fighting against the hectic lifestyles that are becoming the norm in our society. So I basically agree with him on this one. But he DOES say that he knows some women need to work for financial reasons or EMOTIONAL ones, and he hopes that if you do work that you make the effort to stay connected with your kids and find stable child care for them.

So...I enjoyed the book, learned a lot about boys, and kept my anger at differing opinions in check by skipping over those parts and knowing that I wasn't going to agree lockstep with all that Mr. Dobson had to say. But overall I think it's a good insight into our sons especially for those of us moms who were calm girly girls.

Having read a dozen or more negative reviews my conclusion is that they generally just come down to a disagreement on Dobson's view of certain issues, and not the meat of the book per say. These issues could be summarized in, the breakdown of the traditional family, misunderstanding of gender roles, and the effeminizing of males in our society. The majority of people who will negatively review this book are those who already disagree with it ideologically from the get-go.

The thing about "Bringing up Boys" is that it does not hit solely on the problem of radical feminism and homosexuality as it's main premise (despite what you may be led to believe by reading 1 and/or 2 star reviews), although it does highlight them in some areas as the main instigators of a deeper societal problem. The book actually focuses more on the importance of self-esteem, protecting your children from psychological abuse (i.e. teasing), self-control, the effects of violent media, the importance of positive role models, and highlighting the positive strengths of being male.

What you will get in this book is a world-view for raising boys. Despite what you may have been told, it is not about legalism, sexism, intolerance, "papal" obeisance, or whatever else you equate to religion, but instead a greater awareness of who your son is, through a Christian understanding of love, acceptance, and self-worth.

My advice is:
1. If you detest Christian worldview, then don't buy this book - it will rankle your skin
2. If you think you might disagree with something but can be an honest ideologist then eat the meat and spit out the "bones" - there's plenty of meat.
3. If you've read other Dobson material and/or believe in what Focus on the Family is doing then you will probably like this book - if nothing else, it will push you towards praying for your children and your country.

Lastly, I read several other posts by single parents who felt alienated by the books focus on the "nuclear family" (mom and dad). It's too bad the book felt so condemning for you. I would advise that you go to the Dobson's website and do a search on single parenting, where you will find several articles/books/CD's with help for what you are looking for.

This book gives great information to the new parent or the seasoned parent on the issue of raising boys. I work with hundreds of parents throughout the year and specialize in very active boys and girls. "Bringing Up Boys" offers great tips and advice that give you a new perspective on understanding your child. Get "The Child Whisperer" by Matt Pasquinilli as a simple aproach to communicating effectively with any child, but most especially with boys. "The Child Whisperer" has simple steps to follow and you will find that both books really compliment each other.

Whatever your opinion is of James Dobson, no one can deny that his life's passion is for stable families in today's society. I realize some folks will be turned off by Dobson's comments about homosexuality, feminism, single parent homes, etc. However, that is a reflection of his value system and he is certainly entitled to share his thoughts with the reader on raising a boy in today's world. Besides, Dobson is tough on men by challenging them to be men instead of boys! I wonder, did Dobson's critics read any of those comments clearly stated in his book?

Among the points covered in the book include:

1. Yes, there is a difference between boys and girls!
2. Psychological aspects of boys vs. girls.
3. The necessity of having a father figure in the home.
4. The relationship between fathers and sons.
5. The relationship between mothers and sons.
6. Boys tend to take more risks than girls and enjoy safe "roughhousing" with their fathers.
7. How to discipine boys.

As the father of a son and 3 daughters, I can attest that there are indeed differences between the sexes and that they should be raised accordingly.

Dobson speaks from many years' experience as a licensed psychologist. Many people in the past and present (and in the future) have benefitted and will benefit from his wisdom.

Read and enjoy. Highly recommended.

The book, Bringing Up Boys, by Dr. James Dobson is awesome! It is timely and filled with practical advice that parents will find extremely helpful. Dr. Dobson does a fabulous job not only in helping parents raise their sons, but he offers biblical principles that gives parents the TRUE authoritative facts about brining up boys. I learned so much about my son that I never knew. Don't waste another minute without learning the facts about boys. Buy this book today. It is a must read to for parents or guardians that are believers raising boys.

If you hold to the liberal-left viewpoint, please do not purchase this book. It will only serve to anger you. If you hold to the conservative-right, and you have a son(s), you will find this book most beneficial.

Dr. Dobson gets to the heart of the matter when he reminds us that we must bear in mind that we are raising men, not boys. As a mother of a 3 month old son, I have found the information to be very eye-opening. Dr. Dobson emphasizes the importance of the father in the life of every boy and how our young sons must make the transition from an infant who is dependant upon it's mother, to an independant "man-to-be".

His loving candor makes this a most enjoyable book to read, and his common sense & christian values are most refreshing. I am glad I made the investment in my son's future by purchasing and reading "Bringing Up Boys".

A fantastic book, pulls no punches. I didn't agree with everything, and most people won't, either.

That doesn't detract from the main theme: That modern society and culture, and virtually every institution that interacts our boys is failing them, as are most parents.

From TV to teachers, boys are being shaped in un-natural ways by forces with agendas and others with false ideas, and in some instances by sheer laziness. The wreckage can be seen daily as you walk through our culture.

Mr. Dobson's book will point you towards building a more traditional, stronger man as a goal. It's the same role model so disparaged by a wide range of special interest groups.

A strong, emotionally healthy, masculine, and loving man is a threat to these groups, but will be a joy to a future spouse, children, employer, community, and country.

I was wishy washy in my decision to buy this book based on reviews I saw here. It seems this book either gets 5 stars or 1 star!

After reading it, I found much of what was written in the 1 star reviews to be misleading. Obviously, I liked it very much.

I expected to read this book and like many parenting books, take away some good things and discard others. But instead, I found myself nodding in agreement with Dr. Dobson.

His insights seem to be based in common sense to me. The only chapter I wasn't so sure about was the one on the origins of homosexuality. While I understand and appreciate his theories on the development of homosexuality, and even agree with him to a point on his views about whether or not one is born with homosexual tendencies, I'm not ready to totally endorse his views in this area.

That being said, its about time that someone had the guts to point out that boys are different from girls (Duh!), and say that its OK. The book sparked great discussions between my husband and I. We're looking forward to raising our son and will no doubt consult Dr. Dobson's book frequently over the next several years.

I am a Pediatrician, and a patient's mother left this book following a visit. I took it home and began to look through it - I see such "How to raise kids" books frequently, as you can imagine. Most of it was good, solid, practical advice. Most parenting books are reminders of what we tend to forget in the hustle and bustle of daily life. That's a compliment, not a criticism. We physicians welcome any counsel to parents to relax about their little darlings, not fret about their child being slower or faster than another in their development, wondering if each challenge is evidence of some dire malady or another.

What I really liked about the book is the refreshing reminders about the nature of boys. Their physicality, their noise-level, their energy, their love of competition, weapons made from bread or play-dough, their dirty pants and laughter at funny sounds. That "the experts" believe that these are socialized or learned behaviors, and that "boys and girls are the same" has been a terrible disservice to our nation's little guys - and their parents.

Along with this calming counsel are chapters on the responsibility that comes with being a male. Finally, I dare to hope, boys may start to be raised to be men!

Hats off to the good doctor - I returned my patient's book and bought several copies for myself and colleagues.

Enjoy your boys!

This is an excellent resource for the Christian parent seeking advice on raising boys in today's society. The book gives information on two main topics: why boys are the way they are and the dangers that boys face in the world around them. The views presented by Dr. Dobson are based on the Bible, and you will find that our culture does not accept much of what he says. However, you must ask yourself if you want to raise your children based on the whims of society that are constantly changing or on the unchanging priciples of Holy Scripture. With this in mind, here are some highlights from the book:

Chapter 2 & 3 -

Dobson presents the differences between boys and girls. The two lists "Girls Are More Better Than Boys" and "Why Boys Are More Better Than Girls" point out these differences in a very lighthearted way as taken from letters Dobson received at Focus on The Family. Then, Dobson goes into how testosterone plays a big factor in accounting in the difference between boys and girls. The higher levels of testosterone make boys more likely to take risks. Dobson discusses the implications of this fact to close out this section.

Ch. 4-6:

Here, Dobson discusses the roles that mothers and fathers play in the lives of their boys. One of the things Dobson points out is that at 18-36 months of age, boys tend to gravitate away from their mothers toward their fathers. That is not to say that either parent is loved less, but their is a natural transition from the intense motherly nuturing needed in the early months to the model of who the boy seeks to imitate. Boys learn what it means to be a man from their fathers. Of great importance in this section is how the absence of a father or father figure affects the development of boys during their lifetime.

Ch 9, 12, 14:

These chapters deal with the dangers that our boys face: homosexuality, anti-male attitudes, and sexual preditors. Homosexuality is cut and dry. It is forbidden by God, and Dobson tells about pre-homosexual signs that you can look for in your boys. I found chapter 12 rather enlightening. Pay attention to the commercials and tv shows that you see. How many of them portray males as moral, intelligent family men? It will make you think twice about what you want your boys to see.

I hope that this information helps you decide whether or not you are intersted in this book. I happen to agree with what Dobson says based on the Bible. If you want to base how you raise your boys on principles from Holy Scripture, I highly recommend this book. If you are in opposition to these views, challenge yourself. Why don't you agree with them? In either case, your strengthen your parenting skills.