Bringing Up a Challenging Child at Home: When Love Is Not Enough [Paperback]

Jane Gregory (Author)

Book Description

ISBN-10: 1853028746 | ISBN-13: 978-1853028748 | Publication Date: September 2000 | Edition: 1

Chrissy is Jane Gregory's oldest child, an attractive girl with a tremendous sense of fun. She also exhibits behaviour which other people find challenging - screaming fits, stripping off her clothes, violent outbursts and self-mutilation. It was apparent from an early age that Chrissy had a learning disability, and subsequently that she suffered from cyclical mental illness. At the age of 22, researchers at Great Ormond Street found the cause of her condition to be genetic. In "Bringing Up a Challenging Child at Home", Jane Gregory describes her life with Chrissy candidly and pragmatically. She relates her struggles to cope with Chrissy's difficult behaviour, the effects on the rest of the family, and her attempts to understand the reasons behind it. Offering practical advice for other parents, she explains how she got the right support and effective treatment. Her story provides professionals as well as parents with a unique insight into what it is like to bring up a complex and challenging child.

Editorial Reviews

From the Author

I believed Chrissy's behaviour was unique, or very rare.
When I first discovered that Chrissy had learning disabilities, I assumed the next step would be an appointment with a specialist who would tell us the exact nature of her problems - a diagnosis. I expected to be given some idea what 'mental age' she would reach, and what obstacles we might face in future. How wrong I was! I gradually realised that medical professionals had no more idea than I did about how to treat Chrissy's condition.

During her childhood I felt isolated and terrified - traumatised even - by the violent self-injurious outbursts I was dealing with on a daily basis.

I believed that Chrissy's problems were unique or at least very rare. Now I know that there are many other families like ours living with a cherished child, whose behaviour is a nightmare to cope with. Our love for our children remains undiminished when confronted with behaviour we find abhorrent but sometimes that love isn't enough. Our home becomes a war zone and we can no longer function while living together as a family.

Divorce is all too common in families like ours and it's often the mother left to cope alone. Ensuing social factors, such as poverty, may contribute to the child's behavioural challenges and compound the parent's feelings of isolation.

If took 15 years for family life to gain any semblance of normality and to find ways to cope with the challenges Chrissy presents. My search for answers planted the seeds for my book and a career in journalism. I had to tell Chrissy's story, and my research led to a fascination with complex and misunderstood medical conditions like hers. I've had a number of related health and human interest features published in magazines and newspapers.

I wrote my book in 1999 when the cause of Chrissy's problems was still unexplained. My target readers were other parents in similar situations and professionals working with families like ours. I longed to reach out to other mums like myself, which is why I get so much out of interacting with you all now, and I passionately believed that the professionals needed to know what it was like living on the front line. There was a big gap in the market for a book like mine as there were plenty of medical books about challenging behaviour in clinical settings but not in the family environment.

Writing Chrissy's story helped me to make sense of our difficult journey and led to wonderful revelations. I realised how much I had learned about acceptance and unconditional love. I discovered personal strengths (and weaknesses!) I never knew I had. After spending years in the thick of it, by the turn of the century I had the space to appreciate Chrissy as she is - and marvel over her. She has a great sense of fun and makes us fall about with her quirky sayings and observations. She is generous with spontaneous smiles, affection and cuddles, and opens our minds by showing us a uniquely different view of the world.

When my book was published, I had stopped grieving for the 'perfect' child I thought I'd had. I'd learned that life's greatest gifts come in the cleverest disguises.

About the Author

Jane Gregory was 23 when she had Chrissy. Her interest in the issues surrounding Chrissy's needs led Jane to write features about her, and about other complex children. Researchers at Great Ormond Street have found the cause of Chrissy's condition to be genetic. Jane lives in Hampshire and is a busy freelance journalist.

Product Details

• Paperback: 188 pages
• Publisher: Jessica Kingsley Pub; 1 edition (September 2000)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1853028746
• ISBN-13: 978-1853028748
• Product Dimensions: 9.1 x 6.1 x 0.5 inches
• Shipping Weight: 10.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #3,609,892 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Jane lives near Winchester in Hampshire with her husband. She has three children, now all in their twenties, and works as a freelance journalist. She specialises in real-life stories for women's magazines and national newspapers.