Customer Reviews

Bringing Up Geeks: How to Protect Your Kid's Childhood in a Grow-Up-Too-Fast World

5 star:		(17)
4 star:		(5)
3 star:		(0)
2 star:		(5)
1 star:		(1)

 

 

This book successfully balances humor with concrete tips about how to raise children who do not succumb to the pressures of our media-driven, sex-saturated society. The author is a family columnist by trade, so she naturally draws heavily from her own experiences raising children. Even if your family or parenting experiences differ from hers, this book is still excellent food for thought. Bringing Up Geeks identifies unhealthy social influences noted by media and child development experts; points out the often counter-cultural traits exhibited by "genuine, enthusiastic, empowered kids;"and offers clear examples of how to help your children cultivate these traits. It's not an easy task to raise children who remain engaged with society but have the courage to resist its pressures. This book will help parents critically examine cultural norms for childhood and child rearing and then equip them with concrete techniques to use with their own families.

While I believe that Ms. Hicks is passionate about the subject matter, this book is not the parenting guide I was expecting. Be prepared for story after story about how what she did made her kids perfect. There is little outside research (despite a lengthy bibliography to support one-off statistics), and essentially no examples outside her family. The book is poorly organized - each chapter explains why her parenting tip is important, and then goes into the actual tips - the flow is quite painful. I should have looked at the endorsements listed on Amazon before purchasing. (No offense to Pat Sajak, but I'm not sure he's an authority on parenting, sociology, etc.) She also lost my confidence when she mentioned that she thinks TV for preschoolers is ok. I believe her words were, "my kids turned out ok". My advice is to look at this book at a library or book store and read the last few pages of each chapter. I would have given this book one star, but at least Ms. Hicks is trying. If you want a serious book on the subject written by a child psychologist, I highly recommend The Blessing of a Skinned Knee, by Wendy Mogel.

I had often commented to my husband that what I really wanted for my son was for him to be a geek; I wanted for him to be different but confident. Consequently, this book naturally caught my eye. It has helped me focus on the big picture. (What character traits do I want to develop in my child? How do I raise a child in a materialistic society?) With humor and grace, Marybeth Hicks had me laughing out loud at the troubles of parenting today. I highly recommend it!

Overall I think this is a good book. Marybeth Hicks is earnest, she obviously knows what she's talking about, and there IS a lot of good information in this book.

I think my two chief quibbles are that she and I define geek somewhat differently, so this book wasn't quite what I was expecting when I got it, and her set of moral values and fears are a bit different than mine (not radically so though) and so a lot the things she really emphasizes I think are overblown, whereas some things I think are quite important are sort of neglected.

I'm a geek. I grew up a geek. I was raised by geeks. I think of a geek as someone who is extremely interested and knowledgeable about some subject (or group of subjects), even when it might be unfashionable to be so. I don't think it requires you to be a social outcast, but I do think it usually puts you in with a group of other similar people who are sort of on the outside (mostly because the people who are on the inside, socially speaking, are sort of boring). Most importantly though (in the context of this book), I think of it as always exploring and open to new ideas (at least from a science/tech standpoint). Mrs. Hicks gets a lot of this completely right, however she is so afraid of the internet and predators (perhaps due to too much media exposure herself) that I think in some ways she has become a bit of a technophobe. In one section of the book where she talks about guiding kids to hobbies, she mentions electronics. I immediately thought of Radio Shack circuitry kits of my childhood, or programmable legos, or things along those lines. Instead the section was about how to control a child's access to video games, and how even online gaming between two people who know each other is too dangerous to allow because of the danger posed by predators. Now maybe it's because I grew up playing computer games (not a LOT, but.... they were definitely part of my childhood), or maybe because I make a living working on computers and using the internet, but I think games, the internet, and technology in general are all SO incredibly useful it would be quite unfortunate to throw the baby out w/ the bathwater; at least not to quite the degree that Mrs. Hicks suggests. I think raising a true modern geek requires a bit more access and freedom to computers and the net (at appropriate ages) than Mrs. Hicks would allow. I will stipulate though that given my background, I most likely have much more exposure and experience with technology, and am therefore more apt to be comfortable with using it and guiding my children to make the most of it, while avoiding its worst excesses.

My other gripe is simply sex. Mrs. Hicks seems to spend a great deal of time and energy devoted to protecting her kids from any sort of mention of or exposure to anything relating to sex. I think if she and I were to sit down and talk we would probably agree on 98% of these things, but I worry that being SO overprotective (I realize that's loaded, I'm sorry) could lead to adults with unhealthy attitudes about sex, and who live a life thinking it's wrong and dirty. Don't get me wrong. I don't think it's right to expose a 8 year old to the stuff in R rated movies (or most PG-13 ones, and a lot of PG ones). I think a great deal of what pop culture shows is degrading and twisted. I don't have a TV (and won't) for some of these reasons. If I have a little girl someday, she will dress like a little girl, not like a little adult going clubbing, etc. I just think there must be some way to present a positive message and selectively filter things such that by the time they reach adulthood they aren't completely shocked by what they do see and experience, and that they are able to enjoy all that life has to offer without being afraid of it (and w/o rebelling against an overly protective upbringing, and perhaps getting themselves into trouble).

I recommend this book. I think it is a very good source for parents wanting to raise good solid intelligent, inquisitive, polite and thoughtful kids who in turn are also not selfish, narcissistic, materialistic social climbers. My issues w/ the book aren't in any way meant to deter someone from buying it, more that I think this book requires a certain amount of skepticism and discrimination while reading, but... that is true w/ just about any media source anywhere. So buy this book :)

Thanks to Marybeth Hick's "Bringing Up Geeks", 'the culture of cool' and 'GEEK' are my new buzz words! 'The culture of cool' refers to what I think is this (and some older) generation's greatest Achilles Heel, the need to be cool (and the unhealthy habits and mindsets that this need entails). And the best way to avoid this weakness of needing to be cool is to be a 'GEEK' (Genuine, Enthusiastic, Empowered Kid). "Bringing Up Geeks" is a needed and unique book, one that is easy and fun to read, and one that I hope turns into a movement (think on-campus GEEK clubs). If you do not want your kids (or future kids) to be glued to their computers and IPODS and cell phones, dominated by their peers, judging others on their clothing and technological possessions, and unable to carry on conversations and interact in healthy manners, then this book is for you. Or, if you already raise your kids as GEEKS but would appreciate referring others to a book that explains why you do what you do, then this book is for you. Or if you've ever thought that cool kids are putting on an act and look quite lame (to those who have taken the Matrix's red pill), then this is the book for you. As grade after grade enters adulthood with all their dysfunctional and unsocialized habits (technological, social, entertainment, etc.), our world, sadly, accommodates bit by bit. Anyone outside of that world (Geeks, cool peers on the fence about "cooldom", and reformed cool kids) can make a difference by bucking conformity and the culture of cool. And "Bringing Up Geeks" will set them on a healthy path. I hope that Marybeth Hicks writes another book soon that addresses the culture of cool more deeply and demonstrates to older folks the differences between their generations' idea of cool and the more recent generations' culture of cool. Two very different beasts and worth closer inspection. But until then we must be satisfied with "Bringing Up Geeks", and I certainly am. Buy the book, at the very least just to make a statement. Thank you Marybeth Hicks for giving GEEKS a voice!

I picked this book up at the library on a whim. As the parent of a four year old, I'm interested in ideas to do a better job as a parent. I suspect that most parents don't want their kids growing up too fast, don't want them chasing the latest fad, don't want them wading into the worlds of sex and drugs. If the goal of this book is to convince you of these facts, it is successful. However, the author fails to deal with the challenges of parenting honestly. With four children, surely she has faced some challenges. By and large, she does not share them. Instead, the anecdotes in this book are of how perfect her children are. When it is necessary to tell an unpleasant anecdote, it is always a friend or a letter from a reader. So if you want to read 304 pages about how perfect Marybeth Hicks and her kids are, have at it. If you want an open, honest, solution-based discussion of how to raise your child, look elsewhere.

A somewhat-related book that I though was much better is Richard Louv's Last Child in the Woods.

Bringing Up Geeks is absolutely the best parenting book available to deal with today's out of whack culture! I've bought three copies - one for myself and two that I gave as gifts to parents who I knew wanted to be "geek" parents but needed to see that they were not alone to really help them be strong against the culture pressures.

In her book, "Bringing Up Geeks", MaryBeth Hicks builds a strong case for raising kids outside of the pop culture bubble. She describes geeks as "Genuine, Enthusiastic, Empowered Kids." Her message is that too many of today's parents are unwilling to assert boundaries and enforce limits, for fear of alienating their child or damaging the child's social standing. She outlines a growing problem with kids watching adult movies, playing mature rated video games, and succumbing to myriad marketing ploys that target them as consumers. Social standing among kids is based more and more upon material possessions, with the latest toys and technology giving an undue amount of prestige to their owners. Though personal qualities do still matter, leaders are also judged on what game system they own, and which R rated films they have seen. Popularity, Hicks believes, is not all that it initially appears.

I enjoyed taking part in an online seminar led by MaryBeth a few months ago, and when I saw her book at the local library, I knew I had to read it. This book really reinforced many of the parenting decisions my husband and I have made, such as the limited amount of television we have allowed, and the ban on certain shows, even some intended for kids which we feel are not good influences. It also has given us pause to think about other things that we have allowed, such as online games for children, which really are designed to sell stuffed animals.

MaryBeth tells us which line of dolls is not recommended for geeky girls, what game system is the "coolest" and should probably be avoided, and how to assist your geeky child in making similar friends. She has a warm and friendly presentation style which informs but does not appear overly preachy. Anecdotes from her own family are useful examples. There are ten chapters named for her ten "geek rules", plus an introduction and a conclusion. Rule number one is, "Raise a Brainiac". Rule number five is "Raise a Late Bloomer", while rule number seven is "Raise a True Friend". Advice in chapter one includes:

Be a lifelong learner. Take a class or join a discussion group and tell your kids about it.

Let your child's interests lead the family to new experiences. Reward your child's passion for baseball cards with a trip to Cooperstown, for example. (home of the baseball Hall of Fame)

When it comes to school performance, focus on the effort, not the grade. Teach kids that grades follow effort and learning is its own reward.

As a geeky mom to four geeky kids, I am very pleased to recommend this book.

I *loved* this book! It was like having a cheerleader in my corner shouting that I was walking in the right direction! This book is a confirmation that being counter-cultural at this point in time is EXACTLY WHERE I NEED TO BE. There is a fine line to be walked so that your kids don't have to be "nerdy" but can also be confident in the choices that you make as parents and WHY! It is such a GREAT resource! We're reading it this year in our parenting bookclub! LOVE IT!

This book gave me the encouragement I need to make decisions for my children based on my morals and what I think is best for their development. I meet parents all the time that share my principles but don't act on their own out of fear that their children will miss out on social experiences. I was told to compromise with the lesser evils so my kids could have fun. I found myself wavering even though I felt many of these activities were at least in part negative. I feared my kids would miss out too. This book explains how my children can have a wonderful social life with other kids who share their interests and families values. This book gives helpful guidance on how parents can be firm in basing decisions on their values and why they should even when those decisions impact their kids friendships; that this can be beneficial to those friendships in the long run. The author explains how her kids have had better friendships by basing them on greater experiences than those of popular culture and gives examples of activities. The author explains some of the popular cultures effects on our children and gives good advise on how to handle difficult situations when your kids just want to be part of the party regardless of the activity.