Customer Reviews

Broken Children, Grown-Up Pain (Revised): Understanding the Effects of Your Wounded Past

5 star:		(19)
4 star:		(4)
3 star:		(0)
2 star:		(1)
1 star:		(1)

 

 

This book provides an excellent complement to Paul's previous book on domestic violence. "Broken Children", reaches deeper into the hearts and minds of those who abuse and the people who find themselves living with abusers. Victims can identify with the helper and rescuer discussions and find motivation for change. Abusers can discover the root of their problems and address the shame vs. guilt thinking that motivates their behavior.

This is another wonderful effort by Dr. Paul Hegstrom that gives answers to some of life's toughest problems.

This book proved helpful to me as I search for answers to how to overcome an abusive marriage that harmed my children. It helps to explain why just wanting to be different than your parents isn't always easy.

This is a great read for anyone who is an abuse survivor or someone who lives or works with an abuse victim. It is easy to read and explains so much that other books on this topic don't. It is not full of psycho mumbo jumbo and written in lay mans terms. Highly recommended.

This book is a first hand book on the authors own life and his grown up pain that I believe we all have to some degree. It helps you to sort out and identify the part/parts that are a part of the cycle of pain. The author also points you to the solutions for coming out on the side of wholeness and the steps to begin the process.It has my wholehearted recommendation.

I see a lot of the reviews for this book merely praise it but don't attempt to put any context around what is commendable in this book and areas where it falls short or there is room for further excellence beyond its scope. The thing that this book does so well is it brings a strong personal testimony to bear on a situation that all too many face alone: how do I heal from the abusive and sinful nature that I learned and assumed firsthand through personal childhood trauma? Dr. Hegstrom does a great job of describing in simple, plain and direct English the nature of how as the title implies, we have children who have their natural development and maturity cycle of life interrupted by abuse and trauma. This leaves them emotionally arrested and unable to grow the mature emotional and mental means to deal with life problems as their physical body matures and they enter adult life in terms of the scope of demands and responsibilities. He articulates this model with clarity and compassion and a good deal of "been there, done it" that is convincing because it is in its core essence, solid personally vetted spiritual and intellectual truth. That said, it is uncomfortable how science and technology paradigms and claims and faith-based positions are mixed somewhat liberally together, one attempting to fortify the other. For example, the idea that we have "software" that is divinely programmed is a marvelous idea or construct but its really one that is just that - a construct, a metaphor of convenience. It's not something that the Bible, let alone neuroscience has confirmed the exact details of. It's theory presented with gospel authority and that mix might cause problems where the wounded faithful accept pseudo-science or quasi-science blindly and without question. But as a book that makes a case for the wounded to have hope to "rewire" their brains if they are teachable, that part is not ever likely to be unseated. That's solid Biblically rooted mature understanding of growth in faith and virtue through repentance and atoning life choices. Good stuff but two very vastly different subjects and approaches to healing (healing through faith and scripture, healing through scientific remapping of the brain) are surveyed and at times combined and the text can not do both of them anything like full justice in the light, fast 152 pages this book provides. It is at its best really a manual for healing first and foremost that has utility for those who are open to a Biblically rooted faith-based approach. Much of what Dr. Hegstrom is voicing is open to further scientific study and refinement. He makes a lot of bold statements about brain chemistry without (as far as I can tell) backing those up with qualified studies. That doesn't mean he's wrong in his overall premise (in fact, I think he is more right than many who leave God out), but I do think with time some of his more emboldened claims and statements will be challenged and likely refined by more study in the area of brain chemistry among wounded/non-wounded subjects. I am a Christian and a rational intellectual who understands and has read widely in matters of both science and faith. I applaud his early efforts to expand this critical work around healing childhood trauma in the adult population and to bring the lost to the light and hope that is real and true. But some of the author's conclusion might reflect more the subjectivity of Hegstrom's admittedly extreme and anecdotal life experience. I saw where there is room for further study here and I just thought that ought to be noted as I didn't see that mitigating view in the other reviews posted here. I know it sounds like I am being more negative, but just guardedly positive is how I intend my words and critique here. I recommend the book with the mild reservations as stated.

Very informative to learn why we don't understand the whys and where all our personal problems came from. Good counseling to help in unlocking our wounded pasts and how they have by our natural make-up set in motion body functions that have to be re-wired to correct and live freely productive and prosperous lives. How traumas really affect us physically, mentally, emotionally as well as spiritually.

Paul Hegstrom is one of today's top experts on overcoming anger.
Here he focuses on sources of anger that pop up from our childhood,
showing us clearly why we're angry --- and what to do about it.

You may have heard this author on the radio: He's a frequent guest
on nationwide radio programs. You'll enjoy listening if you do; he is
a compelling speaker with a strong personality.

Pick up any of his books on anger, here on Amazon, and you'll benefit
by learning, growing --- and changing. Hegstrom shows you how to take
your anger and replace it with health, moving forward in positive ways.

This is an excellent book, recently revised and updated. Also check out
books by Robert D. Jones on this topic (anger and anger management).

Helpful, practical, solid --- and highly encouraging!

Barbara Sheldon, M.S.W.
I also highly recommend: Moving Forward After Divorce: Practical Steps to * Healing Your Hurts * Finding Fresh Perspective * Managing Your New Life

Excellent insight as to why we do the things we do and more importantly, what to do about it. Wonderful book!

Look into the past to prepare for the future. This book gives a good understand how past experience shapes our life. May not be for everyone but approach with an open mind and heart.

If you come from a broken home or a disfunctional family, then you need to read this. If you don't have closure on things that happened that hurt you, you never get over them. Families and friends need to read this book so they understand why you have held on to your feelings for so long.