Customer Reviews

A Broken Heart Still Beats: When Your Child Dies

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I grew up knowing that my grandfather experienced the loss of a child, but I never gave it much consideration. One thing I wish I could do today, six years after the death of my 10-year-old son, is bring my deceased grandfather back to tell him my story and listen to him talk about the death of his only son during World War Two.

Anyone who has lived through the loss of a child will feel a lightening of the heart as they recognize their own experiences and thoughts in the words of others. This book is a valuable collection of work from gifted writers who had those experiences and thoughts.

Rabindranath Tagore's poem, "The End", reaches so deep it's painful, but I find myself reading it over and over because it puts my feelings to words in a way I can't. So now, because I read this book, eight simple words, artfully arranged by Tagore, will always be with me when I think of my son; "He is in my bones and in my soul."

Thank you, Anne and Mary, for giving me something like talking to my grandfather.

I tried to read this book within a few months of my daughter's death and thought I had wasted my money. Now that the 1st year is behind us, I have picked the book up again and find it is what I need. I would not recommend it to those whose grief is still fresh, there are better books for that time. ("The Worst Loss" and The Phoenix Phenomenon" are 2 that my husband and I found helpful.) Let some of the fog and shock lift, and then read this book. Some of my favorite selections are from authors who lived 50 or more years ago; their ability to express the ache of losing a child is amazing.

This is not, it's refreshing to say, a self-help book. (Neither is it exclusively for those who've lost a child.) The authors have put together something much deeper and more complex. Drawing on literature throughout the ages and throughout the world--from Sophocles to Mark Twain to Rita Dove to Abraham Verghese--McCracken and Semel take the reader on a journey that is at once inspiring and heartbreaking. They, and the writers whose work they present, are unfailingly honest and vivid in their portrayal of grief. They shun the simplistic "just follow these steps and everything will be okay in the end" approach-- nobody here will try to convince you that you have to "get over" it. Some things in life, these writers point out, you don't get over; you just learn to live with them. And it's no failure or weakness or unwillingness to "do the steps." Read this book--whether you've suffered the catastrophic loss of a child or another kind of loss--to see what great writers have to say about learning to live again. And the next time you pick up a poem by Robert Frost, remember that he lost not one, but four, of his children.

It's been five years since the death of my precious son and although many books were helpful in the early months and years this is the one that has lingered with me the longest. I still turn to it from time to time, especially on the hard days.

If I'm angry, confused, consumed with memories and flashbacks, or just missing my boy this is the book I turn to.
As Mark Twain is quoted in the book, "It is one of the mysteries of our nature that a man, all unprepared, can receive a thunder-stroke like that and live. There is but one reasonable explanation of it. The intellect is stunned by the shock and but gropingly gathers the meaning of the words. The power to realize their full import is mercifully wanting. The mind has a dumb sense of vast loss-that is all. It will take the mind and memory months and possibly years to gather together the details and thus learn and know the whole extent of the loss."

That quote, like so many in the book, resides in my heart and mind. I am still grappling with my loss, but thanks to this book and many others my heart continues to mend.

This book is excellent, in that it provides the distressed reader with many writings of gifted authors. It is not a book to be read at one sitting, as it can be overwhelming.

I would recommend that a person interested in this book read my review of "A Child Dies - A portrait of family grief". This book was the better of the two, in the view of my family - however I recommend both.

"A Broken Heart" contains many episodes which are based on fiction, which seemed less meaningful than the words of those whom have actually suffered a loss. Though the words are always wonderfully crafted, fiction did not have the meaning of the words of reality.

Almost two years ago our bright, loving and independent young adult son had a sudden psycotic break and was diagnosed as having schizophrenia. He is unable to care for himself and unable to perform many simple tasks. His condition continues to deteriorate even with medication and our loving care.

I have read almost everything I can find on schizophrenia but nothing captures the intense grief and helplessness we have felt as we have watched our son become someone else. He is still alive and yet the person we knew is gone. We love him deeply as he is but we also grieve for the child we lost. The grief comes in waves. During and between the waves of grief this book has been a wonderful support. It has given words to my sorrow and company in my most lonely moments. It has also given words to my grief for my son and the tortured life he lives. I watch him suffer, helpless to alieviate his suffering. There are days, even weeks when I carry this book around with me just for the comfort of having it near. Anyone who has had a great loss in life will find it to be a companion on a sad and lonely path.

As a bereaved parent, I found this a wonderful book for resource as well as to find comfort in the words of so many parents. We all speak the same language. I highly recommend the book and wish there were more like it.

Of all the books I read after the death of my son, this book was the most honest and the most painful. Drawing upon the reactions of skilled storytellers to the deaths of children in their lives, it faces the darkness and the anger more squarely than the writings in similar books by amateur writers. I'm not saying get this book instead of any other collection of works by grieving parents, as it helps to read a lot of works by people who have been there before, but definately get it in addition to the ones you already have.

There are many good books on the market for bereaved parents, however this book by far outranks the rest. From poetry to prose and other accounts, the book offers comfort to bereaved parents, especially the shared feeling "you are not alone." Many parents before me have suffered the loss of children, famous or not, we're all bereaved parents who will always love our children. Thanks to Anne & Mary, what a wonderful book you've shared.

This is an extraordinary book. The combination of literary selections and the editors' poignant and personal introductions to the various chapters make a powerful and unforgettable reading experience. This book is not only for bereaved parents. It should be read by anyone who wishes to have a more profound understanding of the way tragedy can affect family, friends, acquaintances, and yourself. Furthermore, one obtains a tremendous insight from this book as to how the creative process of poets, authors, songwriters, playwrights, etc. is inspired and motivated by loss. Finally, the literary selections themselves, which range chronologically from Homer to contemporary writers such as John Irving and Ann Tyler and Eric Clapton"s lyrics to "Tears in Heaven", are keenly illustrative of the complex and multi-faceted aspects of the worst thing that can happen to a parent.