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Broken Open: How Difficult Times Can Help Us Grow [Hardcover]

Elizabeth Lesser (Author)
4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (86 customer reviews)


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Book Description

May 4, 2004
“If we can stay awake when our lives are changing, secrets will be revealed to us—secrets about ourselves, about the nature of life, and about the eternal source of happiness and peace that is always available, always renewable, already within us.”
—ELIZABETH LESSER

During times of transition, amid everyday stress, and even when we face seemingly insurmountable adversity, life offers us a choice: to turn away from change or to embrace it; to shut down or to be broken open and transformed. In the more than twenty-five years since she cofounded the Omega Institute—now the world’s largest personal-growth and spiritual retreat center—Elizabeth Lesser has been an intimate witness to the ways in which human beings deal with change, loss, and difficulty. She herself has struggled to submit to what she calls the “Phoenix Process”— allowing herself to be broken open in order to rise like the mythical bird from the ashes of past mistakes and suffering.

In this beautifully written, often funny, and always inspiring book, Lesser has gathered together true stories about ordinary people who by design or disaster decided to step boldly into a fuller life. Here are profoundly moving narratives of fears overcome and risks taken; of hard times and difficult passages; of betrayal, divorce, sickness, and death; and of the day-to-day challenges of raising children, earning a living, and growing older. By sharing her own most human traits, Lesser helps us feel less lonely in our own struggles, and more optimistic about the possibility of transformation. Broken Open also introduces us to some of the world’s greatest spiritual teachers—both ancient and living—and imparts the wisdom of various traditions, from Buddhist meditation to Sufi dance, and from Christian prayer to contemporary psychotherapy. Eminently practical, Lesser provides tools to support us in our quest for a clearer sense of purpose and a new passion for life.

Broken Open is not only a testament to the inner richness and potential of every life but also a deeply trustworthy guide to the dynamics of healing and growth—how we resist and how we surrender, how we stay stuck and how we grow, and how we can turn misfortune into insight, and grief into joy. It helps us to discover within ourselves a fearless heart, a clear mind, and a shining soul.


Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Cofounder of the upstate New York Omega Institute and author of The Seeker’s Guide, Lesser uses her own life story, and those of others, to explore what she calls the "Phoenix Process," or positive life change that can emerge from very difficult life events. In short, episodic chapters, Lesser cites stories of those who have gone through a divorce (as she has), lost a child or suffered a terminal illness. She brings in thinkers such as Tibetan Buddhist Pema Chodron, the late philosopher Joseph Campbell and her longtime friend and colleague Ram Dass to illustrate how meditation and belief in a spirit that works through people can help break through fear and hopelessness. Lesser’s own Phoenix Process began when, having previously been "betrayed" by her husband, she embarked on an adulterous affair (with a "shaman lover") that lasted a year and, in her terms, broke her open and allowed her to change. Lesser doesn’t describe her life events in enough detail for them to stand on their own as memoir; rather, she puts them in the service of an explicitly Nietzschean argument: that one needs to embrace one’s own "evil" in order to grow. Lesser’s resolve comes through in her clear, even, declarative prose, and her use of jargon is sparing and directed. But with conventional morality off the table and frequently overgeneralized musings sprinkled in ("Women still nurture and sustain me, but it is men who call me to grow, to examine my presumptions, to widen the boundaries of my heart"), the book can feel less the delineation of a process than a careful set of self-justifications. That sense is mitigated, however, by the anecdotes of other Phoenix veterans, via Omega and other parts of Lesser’s life.
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

Review

"Elizabeth Lesser bravely and beautifully explores one of the most compelling questions of life: how do we emerge from suffering and challenge with real, encompassing wisdom and love. Broken Open is personal, pragmatic and enlightening."
—Sharon Salzberg, author of Faith: Trusting Your Own Deepest Experience

"Never again will a painful experience wipe me out. This book shows how you can transform any difficult transition into a time of great strength and awakening."
—Jane Fonda

“There's more food for philosophical mastication--and more sparkling good sense--in one lucid chapter of Broken Open than in a library of ordinary books on similar subjects.”
—Tom Robbins

“Elizabeth Lesser has written a most extraordinary book that examines our relationship to the changing nature of life. Lesser, a brilliantly gifted writer, has created a treasure chest of personal stories that bring wisdom, insight, compassion, and common sense to the experiences familiar to so many of us as the years of our lives unfold within their immortal cycle of endings and new beginnings.”
—CAROLINE MYSS, author of Sacred Contracts and Anatomy of the Spirit

Product Details

  • Hardcover: 336 pages
  • Publisher: Villard (May 4, 2004)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0375508066
  • ISBN-13: 978-0375508066
  • Product Dimensions: 9.5 x 6.4 x 1.2 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 1.3 pounds
  • Average Customer Review: 4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (86 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #80,825 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Elizabeth Lesser is the cofounder and senior adviser of Omega Institute (Rhinebeck, New York), recognized internationally for its workshops and professional training in holistic health, psychology, and cross-cultural arts and religion. Since 1977, when Omega was founded, she has helped direct the institute's organization, research and develop its programs, and train its staff. She has also been privileged to study and teach with leading thinkers and practitioners in the fields of human development and spiritual growth. Prior to her work at Omega, she was a midwife and childbirth educator. She attended Barnard College and San Francisco State University. She lives in the Hudson River Valley with her family.

 

Customer Reviews

86 Reviews
5 star:
 (70)
4 star:
 (8)
3 star:
 (4)
2 star:
 (1)
1 star:
 (3)
 
 
 
 
 
Average Customer Review
4.6 out of 5 stars (86 customer reviews)
 
 
 
 
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

120 of 121 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars A Great Read, May 26, 2004
This review is from: Broken Open: How Difficult Times Can Help Us Grow (Hardcover)
Don't let the Publisher's Weekly review stop you from buying this wonderful book. The idea is not that we MUST embrace our evils in order to grow, but that we can use our times of depression,anxiety, or pain to transform us into more open people. I spotted it in Barnes and Noble the other day, bought it, and haven't been able to put it down since. Lesser calls this process of transformation "The Phoenix Process." She beautifully illustrates how difficult times really can help us grow by giving us the story of her first marriage and how the pain she endured during it made her better afterward. She also includes stories of others who have gone through their own struggles in life. Broken Open is well written, and interesting from the first page to the last. The stories in it are truly amazing and inspirational. I reccomend this book to everyone!
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60 of 60 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Life's little survival manual, December 17, 2004
This review is from: Broken Open: How Difficult Times Can Help Us Grow (Hardcover)
When I had to place my partner of eighteen years in assisted- living this summer,I felt such sorrow, guilt and despair that I barely functioned in my professional job. I would cry for hours, letting the phone ring when I couldn't compose myself enough to speak. At only 56, my partner had a massive stroke, followed by two more. By January of this year, she was showing all the signs of dementia. When I knew she could not live with me any more, I was heart-broken and tortured by guilt. A friend invitated me to visit her, and I noticed the title of a book laying on my friend's bedside table,"Broken Open". That really described me.
I began to read it, and I spent much of my visit finishing it!
Suddenly I knew I would eventually move through all this awfulness and out the other side.
Lesser's image of the Phoenix rising from the ashes resonated with me, for ashes was an apt metaphor for my life then.
So I began to follow the path Lesser lays out for the reader. She combines the use of emotional and spiritual growth tools that can lead toward healing and growth.
I was not able to feel the Phoenix in me when I opened these pages the first time. But after many readings of this gentle and sometimes humorous book, I'm on my way to owning such strength. I read many of the other books Lesser recommends to the reader. I also prayed, meditated, and kept going to therapy. But this book started the whole miraculous passage toward recovery.
Elizabeth Lesser, with her poetic and supportive writing, held my hand, week after week. Her words created a virtual hologram that held me when I cried, and patted me softly as I raged.
Lesser's loving mission for this book must have been to help the reader see how she is feeling normal fear and pain that comes with crisis. Lesser acknowledges the unbearable and out-of-control nature of the crisis and loss experience. She helps the reader grow in confidence that she will come through it all, alive and sane... like almost all of us do.
I just read her book 3 months ago, and have also now read her book "A Seeker's Guide", another excellent, beautifully- written guide to spiritual growth.
So I haven't yet risen from the ashes of my burnt-out self. But Lesser's book has given me the courage to keep on facing reality, being present with my feelings, and meditating as if my life depended on it. Thanks, Elizabeth.
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66 of 68 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars I have treasured this book, December 25, 2005
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It is one thing to espouse spiritual or philisophical teachings. It is another thing to offer a humanistic understanding of what it means to seek, grow, evolve and endure until we can each transform. I found myself lulled with the voice of the writer and my head kept nodding because I understood the journey. I find that empathetic witnessing is a great teacher for me, so hearing the story of others creates a wider canvas for me to see things on. I highly recommend this book to anyone who has the gift for introspection and perspective. If you are looking for a "how to be a better person" manual, you're not going to find that in any book. If your life is your onw manual on how to strive to change, grow and break open... this book with sooth, uplift and inspire you.
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Inside This Book (learn more)
First Sentence:
ANY OF US FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE revealing to others-and even to ourselves-what lies beneath the surface of our day-to-day consciousness. Read the first page
Key Phrases - Statistically Improbable Phrases (SIPs): (learn more)
vroom gene, fierce grace, name vibration, slam ball, strange angels
Key Phrases - Capitalized Phrases (CAPs): (learn more)
Ram Dass, Phoenix Process, Shaman Lover, Iron John, New York City, Los Angeles, New Mexico, Open Secret, Sleeping Giants, Joseph Campbell, The Mouthpiece of Spirit, Thich Nhat Hanh, Woody Allen, United States, David Bowie, Hudson River, Mae West, Robert Bly, Slate Quarry Road, Baby Joko, Hideous Damsel, Little League, Native American
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