Broken Piano for President [Paperback]

Patrick Wensink (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: February 11, 2012

The international bestseller at the center of the "World's Nicest Cease and Desist" from Jack Daniel's. 

Featured in the New Yorker, New York Times, Forbes, London Telegraph, Esquire, The Atlantic, NPR's Weekend Edition and more.

Ever drank too much and forgot what happened? Don't be embarrassed. Deshler Dean faces this problem every day of his life.

Dean is far more brilliant and productive when he's blackout drunk. In the last few months alone, he has invented a hamburger more addictive than crystal meth, scored a six-figure record contract for his terrible art rock band, and started dating a woman he doesn't even recognize. Worse yet, he has become entangled in the biggest war since the Allies took on Germany.


When rival fast food chains duke it out for control over Dean's burger-inventing genius, Dean and his band mates plunge into the absurd world of corporate paranoia and greed. As the violence of the burger wars spills out onto the streets, it's up to them to win over the hearts (and stomachs) of the American people and save the country from the equivalent of a deep-fried nuclear warhead.


With the humor of Christopher Moore and the madcap sprawl of Thomas Pynchon, Broken Piano for President is a comic masterpiece about the fast food industry, booze, and the necessity to choose happiness over work and security.

Editorial Reviews

From the Inside Flap

"[A] psychedelic trip of a novel."

-Publishers Weekly

 

"A laugh out loud, thought-provoking novel."

-JMWW                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                       -

"A D.I.Y. Frankenstein's monster that uses parts pulled off Kurt Vonnegut and David Cronenberg, drunkenly stitched together while a Stooges bootleg plays at 110 decibels."

-Louisville Courier-Journal

                                                                                                                                                 -

"Broken Piano often reminds me in ways of [Nick] Cave's last novel, The Death of Bunny Munro."

-The Fanzine

                                                                                                                                               -

"Chok-full of sharp wit and punk irreverence and is a guaranteed treat for all enemies of Jonathan Franzen."

-Esoterrorist 

                                                                                                                                               -

"Like Christopher Moore on very strong acid.  In Broken Piano For President, he's created a Pynchonesque universe...A rollicking good time of a novel."
-Greg Olear, author of FATHERMUCKER and TOTALLY KILLER

"Not only continues to break fresh Wensinkian ground, he continues to find his voice, a warped voice surely, but one uniquely his own."
-Ben Tanzer, author of My Father's House and You Can Make Him Like You

-

PRAISE FOR PATRICK WENSINK

• "Deliciously dark and funny."- Louisville-Courier Journal
• "This is Wensink's special touch: to go as far out as possible with character and concept, but still drive a deeper meaning home. He does so by mixing his Palahniukian style with the kind of twisted humor you can normally only find on Adult Swim."- LEO Weekly
• "In Wensink's world 'nothing special' always turns 'mucho weirdo' before the story is over."- PANK
• "One of those rare gifts we get every now and again."- The Fanzine
• "Irreverent, outrageous, and fearless in his choice of material, Patrick Wensink has a true knack for absurdity."- JOEY GOEBEL, author of Torture the Artist
• "Patrick Wensink demonstrates a gift for darkly absurdist humor that (just guessing here) surely derives from watching either too much or not enough television." - JAMES GREER, author of The Failure
• "Absurd, surreal, and funny." - Lance Carbuncle, author of SMASHED, SQUASHED, SPLATTERED, CHEWED, CHUNKED AND SPEWED
• "Wensink has a sharp wit on display."- Jordan Krall, author of Tentacle Death Trip

Product Details

• Paperback: 372 pages
• Publisher: Lazy Fascist Press; 1st edition (February 11, 2012)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1621050203
• ISBN-13: 978-1621050209
• Product Dimensions: 5.5 x 0.8 x 8.5 inches
• Shipping Weight: 1 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.2 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (23 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #95,110 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Patrick Wensink was born in Deshler, OH in 1979. Since that time he has done a lot of things he is not proud of. But he's also done some pretty interesting stuff. Over the years he has bottled and sold his own line of Wentastic BBQ Sauce, got married in a doughnut shop and even found the time to author a few greeting cards.

Beginning his writing career as a rock critic, his work appears in several newspapers, magazines and web sites. Gradually shifting his attention to fiction, he published his first book, a collection of short stories, SEX DUNGEON FOR SALE!, in 2009. Followed by the novels BLACK HOLE BLUES (2010) and BROKEN PIANO FOR PRESIDENT (2012).

He lives in Louisville, KY.

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

14 of 15 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Broken Piano is like a bar crawl that I didn't want to end July 23, 2012

By MPO

Format:Paperback

This book is defintitely not mainstream, which is a very good thing! Broken Piano for President takes you on a wild ride with Deschler Dean, the protagonist, as your [drunk] driver, so wear your seat belt. By day, Deschler Dean is a sub-par valet, parking cars for the city's elite and VIPs. By night, Deschler BECOMES one of the VIPs. Through the course of heavy imbibing, Deschler transforms into one of the fast food industry's biggest and best kept secrets. Deschler has an amazing ability to create delicious hamburgers while he's hammered. Unfortunately for Deschler, he has no recollection of events when he wakes up hungover. Ultimately, the two largest fast food conglomorates vie for Deschler's loyalty. Hijinks ensue.

I read much of this book on an airplane and found myself having to stifle laughter so my seat neighbors wouldn't think I was crazy. I would recommend this book be read with a nice glass of Jack Daniels. A fun read- two thumbs up!

11 of 13 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Familiar World---Completely Unique Execution July 23, 2012

By Pterodactyl Samurai

Format:Paperback

Broken Piano for President takes place in a familiar world: an unforgiving, almost featureless city ruled by fast food corporations and millionaire execs. Nothing grows there except cement pilings.

And the main character is a guy I knew in high school: the fairly clueless band member whose only loves are his band and his booze. No matter how close you get to this person, in real life and in Broken Piano, you don't really know what's going on with them. They're eccentric and kind of stupid, but so mysterious (maybe it's the memory loss, maybe it's the entertainer charisma), that you can't help wanting to be close to them.

Considering all of these things I've seen and read before, Wensink's done a thing in Broken Piano that I've never encountered anywhere. He's made me feel the same way I felt when I was living in that city and dating that clueless band member. Like I wasn't on the bandwagon, like I wanted to be, and then when the life of Deshler Dean is falling to pieces and I'm finally aboard, I realize just what is at stake and it's too late to keep everything from self-destructing--which it does, in real life and in Broken Piano.

It's weird, truthful, and hysterical. Wensink's timing is spot on, his writing is conversational and smooth, and his characters are so familiar, and yet still surprising.

I highly recommend this book.

4 of 4 people found the following review helpful

4.0 out of 5 stars A crazy ride with dips and blind curves... September 16, 2012

By Thomas Duff HALL OF FAMETOP 500 REVIEWERVINE™ VOICE

Format:Paperback

Normally, Broken Piano For President by Patrick Wensink would not come up on my radar screen. The only reason it did was publicity over the cover (which resembles the Jack Daniels logo), and how the company handled the situation with class and humor. Anyway, it was enough to get me to pick it up at the library and give it a read. It turned out to be one of the most "out there" novels I've read of late. It reminds me of a very dark version of a Tim Dorsey novel.

Deshler Dean, the main character, refers to himself as a "cliff drinker". When he starts to drink, he completely loses track of what happens. But apparently, he's very active during those times. From what he can tell, he apparently works for two warring hamburger mega-corporations, coming up with ideas that top each other. Furthermore, each side knows he's working with the other side, but thinks he's really spying and trying to lead their competitors astray. Meanwhile, he works a day job as a parking valet, approached by many important people who mean nothing to him, but who apparently know him very well. His life is a continual quest to figure out who and what he's supposed to be, and whether he can be that person during the times he's sober and can remember things.

Both the characters and the writing make this an enjoyable (if not strange) read. In addition to Dean, there are band members who are reluctant assassins, girlfriends who aren't who they appear to be, and Russian cosmonauts who may or may not be real and who might have an axe to grind. And during all this, the two mega-burger chains are continuing to top each other in bigger and more unhealthy fare (which the public literally eats up). Wensink uses the characters and corporations to grill a few sacred cows (into hamburgers), and the mirror he uses to reflect back public eating habits is not flattering.

Broken Piano For President a fast ride on a road filled with blind curves and dips. They may not all makes sense, but the overall effect is a memorable trip.

Disclosure:
Obtained From: Library
Payment: Borrowed