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Broken Promises, Mended Hearts: Maintaining Trust in Love Relationships Paperback – December 6, 2001
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From the Back Cover
Praise for Broken Promises, Mended Hearts
"Dr. Joel Block brings us back to the real possibility of personal enrichment and happiness that a love-trust relationship brings. He explains that there is no 'us' without trust. "
--Daniel Araoz, Founder of the American Journal of Family Therapy
A small lie about a purchase, a slight exaggeration about a job promotion, a cover-up about a forgotten birthday. According to renowned psychologist Joel D. Block, it is these common, everyday breaches of trust that erode even the strongest relationships, oftenas much as sexual infidelity. Over time, intimate confidences are weakened and the foundation of trust--and the relationship itself--begins to crumble.
Broken Promises, Mended Hearts offers couples and individuals innovative, solution-oriented approach to restoring trust and repairing love relationships damaged by mistrust. Filled with inspiring case studies and numerous self-diagnostic tests, Dr. Block discusses:
- Understanding the influence of your past relationships
- Dealing with jealousy, the destroyer of trust
- Overcoming feelings of inadequacy
- Saving the relationship after an affair
- Knowing when it's time to leave
Trust is the bedrock of any love relationship. It is the bloodline of romantic passion. And it is Dr. Block's firm belief that when couples feel emotionally safe with each other--when they trust each other--their relationship is more open, uninhibited, and passionate.
About the Author
Joel D. Block, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist practicing couple and individual therapy. A diplomate of the American Board of Professional Psychology, he is a senior psychologist on the staff of the Human Sexuality Center of Long Island Jewish Medical Center and an assistant clinical professor of psychiatry at Albert Einstein College of Medicine. The author of ten books and numerous professional articles, he has appeared on "Good Morning, America" and "Today" and has been a psychology consultant for ABC. Dr. Block lives and practices in Huntington, New York.
More About the Author
There was a long pause before I responded. During those times, so many years ago in Bensonhurst, no one divorced.
I remember witnessing the parents of one of my friends brawling with stickball bats, another set of parents wrestling on the kitchen floor, girlfriends showing up on doorsteps, but for better or worse, often for worse, everyone stayed together.
No one talked of divorce; divorce wasn't in the media, and coming from a 'broken home' was nearly in the category of having a rare, socially shameful disease. In fact, the sentence that always leaped at me from the 10 O'clock News was a comment frequently uttered after a criminal was finally apprehended, 'He came from a broken home.'
I turned to my friend and forced a casual tone. 'He left, ' I said, intentionally avoiding the D word. My friend took it in, gave me a quizzical look and said, 'So, what, we getting hooked up tonight?'
And that's how it went. As if the tide of my home life carried me along, I was asked to leave Lafayette High School as a result of my aggressive behavior'and you can imagine how aggressive you have to be in Brooklyn to be considered over the top.
Then there was the brief stay at The Brooklyn House of Detention, the second stepfather'only a slight improvement over the first'and the 180-turn-around.
The guy considered least likely to succeed at anything worthwhile, the guy with the hi-rise chip on his shoulder, became, of all things, a relationship expert! I specialize in working with couples in my Long Island practice.
Having dug myself out of the dangerous foxholes of my former life, I've become a psychologist with a hospital staff and medical school faculty appointment.
From being told, "You write the way you speak and you don't speak very well at all," I've stepped over the rejections and become what some consider a prolific author.
And what about you? Talk to me at firstname.lastname@example.org or visit me on my website, www.drblock.com
Top Customer Reviews
1. Everyday behaviors that small promises are broken (never call when they say they will call, canceling a birthday dinner, etc)
2. Jealousy games (flirting with others, commenting your attractions to others/others' attractions towards you, etc)
3. Childhood and Family Experience
4. Some of the roots of the infidelity/affairs that lead to the break of trust
5. The lack of communication (especially communicating their most inner thoughts/feelings)
This book also talks about realistic expectations of seeking couple/marriage counseling as well as many helpful tools/techniques to build/re-build a trusting relationship with your partner (it gets worse before it gets better). Dr. Block states that trust is being breached when reliability and consistency of one's behavior is not developed. When couples were hurt by each other's past behavior, the most important thing for one to do is to heal the pain and Dr. Block provides specific steps in how to do so (e.g. sticking with the issues than trying to open the old wounds, express how you feel rather than becoming defensive, etc).
In my opinion, people sometimes have reasons to be distrustful.Read more ›
Most Recent Customer Reviews
I found this book to be very helpful in finding ways to restore trust -- things that I can do for myself, and things to share with my husband. Read morePublished 6 months ago by Christina
Our society is literally disintegrating as our ties with each other weaken. This social disintegration begins in the family and the key breakup there is between husband and wife. Read morePublished on July 10, 2013 by Harold Dawley, Ph.D., Clinical Psychologist
I found this book very helpful at understanding trust and trying to get it back when you have been together so long.Published on March 24, 2013 by Amazon Customer
Not only was Dr. Block's book informative and effective in dealing with mistakes made....it offered guidance so that future relationship issues might be avoided. Read morePublished on December 13, 2011 by Vernell
I purchased this book after reading a few of the reviews and seriously? If any of the other trust books out there are as bad as this one, we are all in trouble. Read morePublished on October 18, 2010 by The Tin Man
I received this book in the condition stated, and with fast shipping, I received the book much sooner than I had anticipated. Thanks!Published on October 10, 2009 by G. Schworm
The surest path to happiness is losing yourself in a cause greater than yourself. When a relationship is over, it is best to bury the past and get on for your own satisfaction. Read morePublished on June 30, 2008 by Betty Burks
I think this book has some fabulous points on anyone who has any trust issues, it's very direct and makes so much sense. Read morePublished on September 30, 2007 by RD