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Broken Promises, Mended Hearts: Maintaining Trust in Love Relationships Paperback – November 15, 2001


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Broken Promises, Mended Hearts: Maintaining Trust in Love Relationships + I Love You But I Don't Trust You: The Complete Guide to Restoring Trust in Your Relationship
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Product Details

  • Paperback: 256 pages
  • Publisher: Contemporary Books; 1 edition (November 15, 2001)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0809223988
  • ISBN-13: 978-0809223985
  • Product Dimensions: 8.7 x 5.5 x 0.4 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 10.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (20 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #391,635 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews

From the Back Cover

Praise for Broken Promises, Mended Hearts

"Dr. Joel Block brings us back to the real possibility of personal enrichment and happiness that a love-trust relationship brings. He explains that there is no 'us' without trust. "
--Daniel Araoz, Founder of the American Journal of Family Therapy

A small lie about a purchase, a slight exaggeration about a job promotion, a cover-up about a forgotten birthday. According to renowned psychologist Joel D. Block, it is these common, everyday breaches of trust that erode even the strongest relationships, oftenas much as sexual infidelity. Over time, intimate confidences are weakened and the foundation of trust--and the relationship itself--begins to crumble.

Broken Promises, Mended Hearts offers couples and individuals innovative, solution-oriented approach to restoring trust and repairing love relationships damaged by mistrust. Filled with inspiring case studies and numerous self-diagnostic tests, Dr. Block discusses:

  • Understanding the influence of your past relationships
  • Dealing with jealousy, the destroyer of trust
  • Overcoming feelings of inadequacy
  • Saving the relationship after an affair
  • Knowing when it's time to leave

Trust is the bedrock of any love relationship. It is the bloodline of romantic passion. And it is Dr. Block's firm belief that when couples feel emotionally safe with each other--when they trust each other--their relationship is more open, uninhibited, and passionate.

About the Author

Joel D. Block, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist practicing couple and individual therapy. A diplomate of the American Board of Professional Psychology, he is a senior psychologist on the staff of the Human Sexuality Center of Long Island Jewish Medical Center and an assistant clinical professor of psychiatry at Albert Einstein College of Medicine. The author of ten books and numerous professional articles, he has appeared on "Good Morning, America" and "Today" and has been a psychology consultant for ABC. Dr. Block lives and practices in Huntington, New York.


More About the Author

Two years after my first stepfather left a friend asked about him. 'Whatever happened to what's-his-name?'

There was a long pause before I responded. During those times, so many years ago in Bensonhurst, no one divorced.

I remember witnessing the parents of one of my friends brawling with stickball bats, another set of parents wrestling on the kitchen floor, girlfriends showing up on doorsteps, but for better or worse, often for worse, everyone stayed together.

No one talked of divorce; divorce wasn't in the media, and coming from a 'broken home' was nearly in the category of having a rare, socially shameful disease. In fact, the sentence that always leaped at me from the 10 O'clock News was a comment frequently uttered after a criminal was finally apprehended, 'He came from a broken home.'

I turned to my friend and forced a casual tone. 'He left, ' I said, intentionally avoiding the D word. My friend took it in, gave me a quizzical look and said, 'So, what, we getting hooked up tonight?'

And that's how it went. As if the tide of my home life carried me along, I was asked to leave Lafayette High School as a result of my aggressive behavior'and you can imagine how aggressive you have to be in Brooklyn to be considered over the top.

Then there was the brief stay at The Brooklyn House of Detention, the second stepfather'only a slight improvement over the first'and the 180-turn-around.

The guy considered least likely to succeed at anything worthwhile, the guy with the hi-rise chip on his shoulder, became, of all things, a relationship expert! I specialize in working with couples in my Long Island practice.

Having dug myself out of the dangerous foxholes of my former life, I've become a psychologist with a hospital staff and medical school faculty appointment.

From being told, "You write the way you speak and you don't speak very well at all," I've stepped over the rejections and become what some consider a prolific author.

And what about you? Talk to me at drblock@drblock.com or visit me on my website, www.drblock.com

Customer Reviews

This book is a wonderful tool in any relationship, whether in trouble or not.
Jeffrey Hatcher
In contrast to a lot of the self-help genre, his case examples were very realistic and his suggestions were very wise and well thought out.
Dr. Joel Block
Trust...the loss of it and the repairing process, as Dr. Block poignantly shows us, is one of the most crucial issues.
Sheila Baum, M.S., C.S.W.

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

55 of 60 people found the following review helpful By A Reader with Gratitude and Appreciation on March 23, 2005
Format: Paperback
The reason I picked up this book in Amazon is I started a relationship with someone I could not trust. Unlike the pop entertaining self-help books you find nowadays in the bookstores, this book has a very compassionate writing style to help one learning how and why they could not find trust in their relationships. This book covers various topics about why trust is being breached:
1. Everyday behaviors that small promises are broken (never call when they say they will call, canceling a birthday dinner, etc)
2. Jealousy games (flirting with others, commenting your attractions to others/others' attractions towards you, etc)
3. Childhood and Family Experience
4. Some of the roots of the infidelity/affairs that lead to the break of trust
5. The lack of communication (especially communicating their most inner thoughts/feelings)

This book also talks about realistic expectations of seeking couple/marriage counseling as well as many helpful tools/techniques to build/re-build a trusting relationship with your partner (it gets worse before it gets better). Dr. Block states that trust is being breached when reliability and consistency of one's behavior is not developed. When couples were hurt by each other's past behavior, the most important thing for one to do is to heal the pain and Dr. Block provides specific steps in how to do so (e.g. sticking with the issues than trying to open the old wounds, express how you feel rather than becoming defensive, etc).

In my opinion, people sometimes have reasons to be distrustful.
Read more ›
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9 of 9 people found the following review helpful By Lyn Sherlok on June 27, 2003
Format: Paperback
BROKEN PROMISES, MENDED HEARTS, provides answers to many questions concerning trust issues in love relationships. Dr. Block remains consistent in his ability to write with the reader in mind, and his compassionate approach to writing makes this book particularly helpful with such a delicate subject as dealing with one's "heart". He covers many topics such as: everyday events that break down trust, playing jealousy games, to the struggle with vulnerability. Through the use of questionnaires, Dr. Block encourages the reader to take an active approach to learning about their own relationship struggles. He ultimately helps the reader understand the mechanics behind their issues with a sensitive yet direct technique. GRAND APPLAUSE FOR DR. BLOCK!
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10 of 12 people found the following review helpful By Jeffrey Hatcher on March 18, 2001
Format: Hardcover
This book helped me and my young wife go through a troubled period. Dr. Block's emphasis on maintaining and rejuvinating trust in the couple showed us the way to get along and reinvigorated our relationship. This book is a wonderful tool in any relationship, whether in trouble or not.
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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful By Steven H. Geschwer, Psy.D. on December 31, 2000
Format: Hardcover
Trust can be the one factor that can bind or erode a couple's relationship. Dr. Block's excellent book confronts this issue by recognizing triggers that interfere and destroy that trust. Through the recognition of one's past and the learning to separate it from the present,as well as developing a more forthright style of communication, Dr. Block's book leads a couple in a most useful and positive direction that can only correct, improve, and enhance their chances for a successful relationship. An important book that is extremely instructive and useful for all couples to read. It is very highly recommended.
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6 of 7 people found the following review helpful By Sheila Baum, M.S., C.S.W. on February 18, 2001
Format: Hardcover
As a therapist working with couples for the past thirty years, I found this book to be one of the most helpful and inspiring. Trust...the loss of it and the repairing process, as Dr. Block poignantly shows us, is one of the most crucial issues. Dr. Block's clarity and wisdom as a clinician and as an author is to be commended.
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful By Robin Llabres on August 6, 2006
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
This is the most important book I have ever read. My partner and I finally understand WHy we made the mistakes. Only then could we fix them and not repeat them. If you read nothing else ever, read this book. Your life will make complete sense
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful By Susan S. Bartell, Psy.D. on November 27, 2000
Format: Hardcover
As a psychologist who works with couples, I was very happy to find Dr. Block's book. He provides an excellent understanding about the way childhood and family issues can interfere with a person's ability to maintain trusting adult relationships. And even more importantly, he gives concrete, useable ideas for repairing, improving and maintaining trust in love relationships. I will gladly recommend this book to my patients and I think it is particularly useful for those couples who are reluctant to see a therapist for help.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful By Vernell on December 13, 2011
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
Not only was Dr. Block's book informative and effective in dealing with mistakes made....it offered guidance so that future relationship issues might be avoided. A great guy that really wants to see others helped and will answer every email sent him! A must read for the new couple or for the long-termers.
-V.E. Dixon
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