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The Brotherhood of the Disappearing Pants: A Field Guide to Conservative Sex Scandals

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"The Brotherhood..." describes people who have held the public spotlight as politicians or religious leaders who have railed against the lack of morality, and lost tradition of family and Christian values in our society.

The only problem is that these same people have been exposed in acts of stalking, domestic violence, sexual harassment, infidelity, and stealing as bad as, or worse than the lack of morality they were gnashing their teeth about.

These preachers and politicians have often been in the national spotlight not only being outspoken against a particular offense but also being sponsors of organizations or bills in Congress to prevent the very things they were eventually caught doing themselves.

Their responses to being caught were equally peculiar on many occasions and revealed their level of character e.g. going to alcohol rehabilitation after being exposed for sending sexually suggestive messages to minors, or stating that what they did was not so bad when compared with what others have done, but my favorite is: "I asked God to forgive me and He did." (This is what some call cheap grace).

Authors Joe Amann and Tom Breuer have divided their book into three sections: Republicanicus Libidinus, Religious Devianti, and Conservativicus Debaucheria, describing the rich peccadillos and behaviors of about seventy people who are given about two or three pages of type. The reader will quickly get the idea that the authors are disporting themselves in fits of mirth as they add metaphors and similes that cause laughter from the gut and soul.

But they impart a more important message here. While they acknowledge that democrats have often had their share of scandals and sexual escapades, they contend that republicans and conservatives have often nurtured the (false) idea that they have always been strong on defense, tough on crime, and stood up for family values and morality. This makes their peccadillos seem especially hypocritical.

This is a good read in the car (unless you're driving) or in some waiting area if you're pants are on. (It shouldn't be read in airport men's rooms). It is not meant to be deep or profound as much as enjoyable. It is meant to laugh and scorn others who spent a lifetime of scorning. It is also a reminder that the mightiest often fall the hardest, and that the meek shall inherit the earth. The cardinal sins of pride and lust lead to the greatest downfalls.

What the book doesn't explain is why they do it, and the risks they know they must be taking when they are committing unsavory or illegal acts. The book doesn't even pretend to be on this level, but there is one that does that should be considered along with this one: "Conscience of a Conservative" by John Dean is an attempt to do so. Joe Conason also reveals the hypocrisy of conservative positions in his book: "Big Lies: The Right-Wing Propaganda Machine and How it Distorts the Truth."

Why did I read this?

The devil made me do it.

This book is the ultimate guide to conservative sex scandals covering all of the major, and many of the minor, sex sandals from the past 25 years. Some are well known, such as Senator Packwood and a lot are much less well known.

While the authors admit that a book of liberal sex scandals could also be written, they point out, correctly, that it wouldn't be much of a surprise and would have little hypocrisy attached to it. Hypocrisy is the key word in that the major theme of this book is to demonstrate the hypocrisy on issues by conservatives. A family values platform doesn't mean much if in your spare time you're taking the teenage family babysitter to bed.

The book would be sort of dull if not for the acerbic wit of the authors. The writing by them is what makes the book an enjoyable, although disturbing read.

...when we have GOP moralist stalwarts to keep us laughing?

These authors haven't left me down. In their "Sweet Jesus, I Hate Bill O'Reilly," they exposed more about Billow than I almost cared to know. And in "Fair and Balanced, My ...", they kept my laughing--and informed--about Faux Noise.

In this book, they start that, okay, Clinton had his affair. But as affairs go, his was pretty low key compared to, well, many of those who were the most zealous in their persecution of the Clinton administration! And they underscore that the real color, the real charm of those who've been caught in the most embarassing (!) positions, are the biggest moralists in the GOP field!

Sure there's names you'll recognize. Mark Foley, Rudy Guiliani. Ted Haggart. But there are so, so many of those of whom you probably never heard. There's preachers whose zeal against homosexuality is without comparison who, it turns out, have their boys on the side; there's GOP award winners who've walked from door to door to announce to their neighbors that they're convicted sex offenders. And more.

There's a short chapter entitled "Hypocrites in the House," on the Clinton witch hunters--and their sexual goings-on. And after the whole catalog of amusing hypocrisy, the final chapter is on the porn composed by some of the right's more vociferous moralists, including Lynn Cheney. (All right, if you've read the authors' O'Reilly book, you've already been exposed to Billy's erotic literary offerings. But it never hurts to reinforce it.)

I dare not give away too much here. But the book is worth it's weight in gold. Use it when your Republican relatives whine about Democratic and "liberal" immorality. (In the introduction, they suggest that, when on Thanksgiving you hear your uncle again dropping the same Bill and Monica joke you're heard for the last ten years, just bring up some things you've learned from this book.)

And the authors' writing talent is commendable. Their metaphors and analogies are among the best I've ever seen. One of them is a veteran of Catholic schools, as am I. See, the Catholic education really DID make him a great writer. Thank you, Sister.

I'm proud that I'm originally from the state in which they write. And I look forward to their next books. Thanks, fellas.

Someday, an expose of these sort of issues done by the democrats will be published. I look forward to that pamphlet.

Ranging from the outright funny to the disturbing; these sex scandals cover years of GOP and conservative fooling about. Aside from the creepy behavior of some of these men (like the one who groped a sleeping seat mate on a plane ["She never said no"]), it is the blatant hypocrisy of these "values" conservatives that makes this a good read. The authors point out in their introduction that the double talk/action of these folks is what makes the scandal.

I never heard of half of these little bits of nastiness when they happened, but I am now seriously worried about the repression of the libeado espoused by those who are tring to quell mine. Another great work by these guys. I look forward to their next effort.

This is a very entertaining and "revealing" book. It documents the MANY hypocritical actions of various conservative Republican moral wind-bags.

When one considers the ethical lapses of liberals like Eliot Spitzer, Bill Clinton and Ted Kennedy, no one can seriously claim that liberals are "without sin." However, what makes the book truly enlightening is not the sins themselves. Rather, it is the fact that conservative "moral values" are BS to begin with. To wit:

1. Gays are going to hell;
2. Islam is the "devil's faith";
3. Pre-emptive wars based on lies are morally justified;
4. Tax cuts take precedence over almost anything else, including health care and education;
5. Global warming is a myth. Even if it isn't, don't worry about it because "God has it under control";
6. It's OK to destroy the wilderness because "Jesus is coming back soon, anyway";
7. It's OK to nuke the Middle East into a plain of glass to usher in the Second Coming;
8. The Bible is literally true, word for word. All other faiths are false;
9. "Abstinence only" education actually works;

yadda yadda yadda...

To top it all off, they tell us this garbage during the day. However, once the sun goes down, their pants go down in brothels, public restrooms, mistress's bedrooms, etc. However, because they are "sinners", they merely ask for forgiveness the next day. Problem solved! ("Cheap grace" is a problem most conservatives need to confront openly and honestly).

Those sure are great "values"! They stink to begin with, and conservatives can't even follow them when no one is looking. Way to go, guys!!

This was a good "bit of fun" to read. We've almost all heard of the relatively "serious" instances here, and it IS enjoyable to note how those "holier than thou" ones (among whom brought/promoted presidential impeachment charges (!) for similar "sins") themselves get caught. BUT - - we didn't expect anything profound here, anyway--did we.

I LOVED the format of this book. Short chapters with silhouetted pictures and titles that belong in a bird-watching guide (for perverted birds). The reader walks a fine line of being amused (the author's writing is wickedly funny) and being disturbed. Most of the conservative antics are entertaining, especially in their hypocrisy, but there were some that were deeply upsetting. Thankfully, the book skirts around the sensational details of the sickest.

As a moderately informed person, I was surprised at the scandals I had not heard of, and learned much about scandals I thought I already knew. And most importantly, OH how I laughed. It's a great buy.

With the righties fanaticism about our sexual behavior in defining how "moral" we are, they ignore the immorality of corporate sucking up the life out of the idea that the USA was/is intended to be a government of/for the people...and have managed to fool many people who are likewise confused about human sexuality...even though withoput it, we wouldn't exist.

Their assuming of the position of "holier than thou" via sexuality makes them subject to having the rug of hypocrisy being drawn out from under them.

With the HUMOROUS take on their complete hypocrisy, we get a wonderful assessment of THEIR nutty sexualities as incisively and humorously with their many sexual adventures showing often pecularities and offensiveness...as well as illegalities in the sex area.

Enjoyable to the nth degree!!!

I'd first like to say that I LOVE it when anti-sex / anti-gay / anti-porn crusaders are exposed as the hypocrites that they usually are. This book is a good mini-encyclopedia on this topic.

However, the book should have done a much better job of citing references. With the possible exception of the chapter about the critics of Clinton's affair, references are often vague or not stated. For example, it might say that Newspaper XYZ quoted a person on an issue, but it doesn't give the date or name of the article. This forces the reader to hunt it down if they want further reading on the subject. Another example is the chapter on the anti-porn pastoral pair from Omaha for Decency. I am from the city where this happened, and these two pastors were exposed as hypocrites by a local website. Yet this source is not cited, and it is unlikely the authors of this book discovered it without this local website. (Although the local media outlets reported the sex scandals, the media did NOT pick up on the fact that these two pastors are anti-porn crusaders. A local website picked up on this and exposed it. This was exposed several years before this book was published).

This is a good book (exposing these kinds of hypocrites is always fun). However, it does need a bibliography at the end of the chapters so those people who might claim the book is just propaganda can be easily referred to the sources.

This book exposes the conservative right wing and their lack of morality. They use to say they were the one's that had the corner on it. The fact that they say they are the one's that have the moral high ground makes it funnier when they get caught. We all know that both sides do it that's just human nature. It's sad too because most of Republicans do not resign or even really apologize about it even though some of them supported the impeachment of Bill Clinton for doing the same thing.
Since the first book was published there has been enough material to start a second book.