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Brotherhood: Gay Life in College Fraternities

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Score another victory for the gay Greeks. This 2nd installment takes the groundbreaking work of "Out on Fraternity Row" to a higher level. This book manages to be informative, educational, and even a bit sexy. All in all, a good read.

This is a great book that follows "Out on Fraternity Row". Although I have yet to read every account in this book, the diversity of these men's experiences makes the reader grab hold of reality and realize how "taboo" society has made homosexuality and how society is progressing and in some ways not progressing, even regressing. This book is a must have and a great teaching tool against homophobia and it sheds light on the fact that gays are normal people. BUY IT!

This anthology of stories is a must-read for any person working with fraternity and sorority members. The experiences shared are heartfelt, sincere, comforting and eye-opening to the experience of men discovering their identity in the midst of a college fraternity experience. Just as well done as "Out on Fraternity Row", but even more powerful.

We have all heard how sequels to either books or movies never seem to come close to the original; however, when it comes to Brotherhood: Gay life in College Fraternities, I would have to say Shane Windmeyer has out done himself. With heroic stories of accomplishments and tales of stories you may never have heard someone speak of, this book offers author's, reader's, and anyone else who just glances through its stunning pages, the ability to jump right into the story and live it with that person. A big KUDOS is in order for the amount of work and preperation all of these authors had to go through in getting this done. Thank you Shane for producing such a vibrant and visual book for the public to read and understand the mystery behind Fraternities and to dispell the myths.

There are some amazing stories in this book. As a gay man who was greek, it is kinda funny to read about others experiences and reflect on some of my own.

Even though I graduated from college, I often wondered if joining a fraternity is really something that most guys should try? Now I kind have the answer.

I just finished reading Mark Bigelow's story of "Odd man in." After he graduated college, and he offered to help his Tau Kappa Epsion to start a new chapter at another school - OSU. After the TKE national representative learned that Mark is gay, he told Mark that he will be in touch with him in a week. Three weeks later, Mark called that guy again, and that representation told him directly :"Thanks anyway, but I don't think that I'll need your help, and I think you know why." I instantly felt sad for him. Mark was accepted by his own fraternity, however, at the national level, he was rejected even though he was a true TKE brother. After all, all fraternities are formed by different kinds of guys with different ideas and opinions, it is simply impossible to form brotherhood with any random guy from the same fraternity, and expect that anyone can be accepted for whoever he is without any prejudice or discrimination. It is hard to keep in touch with friends after graduation, fraternity is a good way to continue this bond, however, some of the brothers are no different than the acquaintances, some of the brotherhood will fade away right after graduation.

This book also presented the racial discrimination among fraternities across the country. In "John Welles" story of "From the Haze," he wrote:"One fraternity even went as far as remaining exclusively white while the other fraternities had begun accepting blacks in recent years. That was in the late 1990's.

It is also very shocking to learn that in the year of 2002, at Texas A&M university, Clay Cunningham wrote in his story of "The Pledge Jersey", "he then compared the situation to an incident a few years back when the fraternity had a black guy who tried to pledge. When it came down to a vote, many brothers said that they would leave the fraternity if he was allowed to join. The verdict:"No blacks in TKE." So it seems that TKE neither likes gay people or non-whites.

Some of the gay men were fortunate enough to be accepted, it makes me wonder how many more gay men were rejected by the Greek system because of their sexuality alone. They probably can publish several more books on that alone.

"It was not until fall 2003 that the first black student pledged a traditional sorority at the University of Alabama, ..racially integrated since 1963."

So it is safe to say that there are still fraternities out there which are homophobic, and racially discriminating against non-whites.

I was a little surprised when I searched for "clay cunningham" and TKE online, I was able to find several stories about him. He indeed reported TKE to the school. Instead of dealing with the homosexual discrimination, On Tuesday, Nov. 27 of 2001, the university announced TKE had been given a "deferred suspension" for alcohol and hazing violations until June 1st of 2002. According to the online article that I read, he says, "even if there are guys with negative stereotypes. Perhaps I could change perceptions, and they could come to see me as a real person, not as some gay guy who got their fraternity in trouble."

To some people, joining a fraternity is so easy. Christopher ho rushed three different fraternities, got rejected twice. Was it necessary? This is not a competition.

The story of "Lovers to brothers" was not very believable. They joined a fraternity after they graduated from a college. And according to the story, one of the guy was asked to join without even having to ask. They each wrote parts of the story. They did not list their real names, or the name of the fraternity or the college that they work. It seems to me that they probably did the fraternity some favor, maybe gave the fraternity large amount of money or something, so the fraternity guys felt the need to suck up to them. After all, what kind of fraternity will initiate someone who didn't even show any interest. That guy did not even have to go to the fraternity, one of the fraternity guy came to his office, and told him that the fraternity voted to initiate him.

I like Michael knipp's story, it is romantically gay. He actually met his lover through the same fraternity. When he was in college, cell phone probably wasn't invented, so he had to share a phoneline with one of his brother. That led him to come out to his roommate.

"Travis Lin" refused to hide his sexuality, so he wasn't offered a bid to join an Asian fraternity. I felt that sexuality is only one part of him, he could have joined first, then came out later. That leads to another point, if joining a fraternity is really that important? Those fraternity guys will only accept him if he is straight.

some fraternities have large number of guys, and how many of them will keep in touch with everyone after graduation? Fraternities give guys opportunities to make some good friends or lovers, but male students don't really need a fraternity to make some life long lasting friendship.

This is a good book overall. I wonder how many fraternity men who have some really interesting stories which are still untold. Maybe someone can set up a web site just for guys to share their fraternity stories.

"Brotherhood: Gay Life In College Fraternities" is the follow up to "Out on Fraternity Row", yet it delves deeper into the secrets of gay men who, in order to find acceptance in themselves and in life, immerse themselves in the college fraternal system. The tales that emerge from their travels are sometimes heart warming and amusingly annecdotal; occasionally filled with guilt, lonliness and rejection; often met with acceptance and brotherly love; and above all true. The prevailing message is that hope and love lies at the end of the tunnel.

The many authors who share their stories in this collection are not full time writers, but men who wanted to open themselves and their experience for future generations. College men and women involved in the Greek system should definitely read this book, they may identify with the stories or situations. It should also be a must read for any man or woman who now or at one time in their life found themselves struggling to find love and acceptance, gay or otherwise.

Last century I read Out on Fraternity Row an edited compilation of personal accounts of being gay in the American college fraternity spanning the 1960s through the early `90s. This century I just completed Brotherhood another compilation edited by Shane Windmeyer. Both books were produced under the auspicious of the Lambda 10 Project, an outgrowth of Windmeyer's graduate research program.

These two books give an interesting contrast on how things have changed. Society is changing and fraternities could prove to be the bellwether of what is to come. If you are interested in the societal tolerance question toward homosexual men within heterosexual America, these two books give interesting insight. I'd read this in sequence if I were you.

One unintended message I observed between the lines of Brotherhood is that the more accepting individual chapters are toward their brothers who are gay, the more open the brotherhood is, the less alcohol and/or drugs figure into the stories. Check this out. We are all insecure and need to become self-actualized in our masculinity. The support of a truly open fraternity seems not to use the crutch of libation to hide, numb, excuse or avoid what we all are - people, men.

Shane Windmeyer is my fraternity brother. I'm glad he is. He is making a difference with this research.