Customer Reviews

A Brother's Journey: Surviving a Childhood of Abuse

5 star:		(35)
4 star:		(16)
3 star:		(2)
2 star:		(1)
1 star:		(4)

 

 

A Child Called "It" moved the world to appreciate the extent that child abuse can take . . . and the need to do more to stop it. Over 2 million copies of that vivid memoir have been sold. In that story, Dave Pelzer described the role his brothers were forced to play in his abuse. Younger brother Richard was a particular problem as he would tell lies about Dave that led to more beatings by their mother. But Richard would also leave food for the starving Dave.

In A Brother's Journey, Richard tells his perspective both on what happened to Dave, his guilt for his role, and how the family functioned after Dave was taken away to a foster home.

In limited ways, Richard was selected by their mother to replace Dave as the butt of her alcoholic rages. Although his abuse was horrific, it failed to be as bad as Dave's. Thank God for that.

But the interesting part of this book is the insight it provides for psychologists, social workers and the families of abused children concerning the impact of abuse on the more favored children in the family. Most books about child abuse don't get into this aspect of family life, and I found the added perspectives to be very revealing and interesting.

Naturally, no one can read this book (or A Child Called "It") without wondering how a grandmother, a father, neighbors or the school could have permitted this to go on so long.

The lesson seems to be that if you suspect even the possibility of abuse, you'd better do something. What you see is probably less than 1% of the problem.

Professionals can learn from this book the importance of on-going observation and the need to build trust in those who are suspected of being abused. The abusers will have terrified the abused with all kinds of lies to keep them quiet . . . and not seek help.

One of the most fascinating parts of this book is Richard's description of how hard it was for him to realize that he could stop his mother physically.

You will be haunted by the two occasions when Dave reaches out to Richard and the family . . . and how those turned out.

If you are looking for a story to top A Child Called "It", you will be disappointed. If you want to better understand what you learned from A Child Called "It", I strongly recommend that you read this book.

I'm really surprised by some of the reviews, specifically, people who think that only one person per family is entitled to tell their story.

There is a strong blame-the-victim thing in a few of the reviews, even so far as claiming that somehow a five year old boy can be the one orchestrating this family disaster.

Given the context of the family situation, I'm surprised that anyone wants to scapegoat Richard. I think the anger displayed here is out of place.

If you've read Dave Pelzer's books, this one by Richard Pelzer will add dimension to the story. It's a compelling and decent book. It's major flaw is that the story ends abruptly with Richard deciding that he is strong enough to change the situation. So it's a letdown that we never find out what he did to move forward. All the same, I read it easily in an evening, and was glad I did.

It's about time one of David's brother stepped up to the plate and admitted the abuse occured and this book is a shining achievement. I am disgusted with anyone who could read this book and then deny the truth it expresses.
From my own personal experience of an abusive mother the pattern that both Dave and Richard describe and their responses to it are psychologically accurate.
When my father lived with us a lot of the abuse was directed at him , when he left it was all focused on me and my sister was the child who could do know wrong and she (my sister) loved to join in tormenting me. Then when I left, my sister became my replacement and suffered abuse. This is exactly the pattern that Dave and Richard describe. Richard has written a book that is very compelling. Unlike David he actually touches (all to briefly) on what was going on in his mother's head and possible motivations for her behaviour.
He suffered unbelivably horrific abuse and yet it was less than David's and this makes the book somewhat less painful than reading a child called IT because he manages to squeeze in a rare moment of pleasure here and there which David as "IT" never had a chance to do.
But it is still horrific. I think Richard is a fine writer and his bravery in admitting the abuse he inflicted on his brother at the ages of 5,6, and 7 in order to get his mother to notice him is so commedable. I doubt David blames a 5 year old for what happened. How could a 5, 6 or 7 year old possibly be expected to stand up to a mother like that. The only time Richard had praise or attention was when he collaborated in his elder brother's abuse.
The really disgusting brother was Scott who was still abusing Richard at 17.
Like David's books Richard's story is just too detailed, too surprising, too complex and has too much psychological depth to have been fabricated.
The book will grip you from begining to end but be prepared to be a little dissapointed by the ending, there is obviously another book waiting in the wings.

This review is in response to Pony's review entitled "Save The Tissue's Get Out The Spotlight". I am curious...Did Pony read the book? I did not read anything in Pony's review that was related to the book, his review merely contained a critique of the author's character. Also, in his review Pony points out that Richard was not an author prior to him publishing this book, but is anyone an author before they are published? I think not. Pony also points out that it is obvious that Richard is "only in it to make money", or he would volunteer to help people in need. Richard does, in fact, volunteer to help people in need. He travels around the country speaking to schools and other organizations at his own expense. Richard and his wife have been involved in various charities that help children, and were foster parents LONG BEFORE his book was published. Richard's story was also checked for facts before it was published, as any repectable publisher would do, both in the US, and abroad. I am sorry that Pony felt ill to see Richard receive praise for his bravery, but I, on the other hand, felt ill for the obvious reasons when I read this book. I felt ill knowing that these boys suffered so much at the hands of someone who was supposed to protect them.

In A Brothers Journey, Richard Pelzer takes readers through his tortured childhood, showing remarkable candor in his writing. Holding nothing back, he gives vast insights into the horrors of child abuse. This book is not just a compendium of his sick mother's atrocities. It is the story of a boy's journey from being taught to participate in the abuse and degradation of his own brother, to becoming the primary victim of the abuse. Pelzer uses that journey to provide insight into the mind of the abused. Not only does he share his emotions as events unfold, but helps the reader to understand his thoughts and behaviors as he struggled to survive in a world of constant fear. This is a healing journey, and a must read for anyone who has ever been abused. It is also an important reminder of the fragility of children, and what they will endure when deprived of the love they so desperately seek. Anyone who has influence in the life of a child must read this book.

This book was amazing. The hell Richard Pelzer and his brother David were put through makes you wonder how a mother could ever harm their child. I couldn't put this book down as I couldn't put David Pelzer's books down either. As soon as I recieved the book in the mail, I started to read it and was done in 2 days, which was disappointing because now I have nothing to read! Order this book, you won't be disappointed!

I received this book in the mail late on Tuesday, today is Thursday and I am done with reading it, I am simply amazed at how this women behaved, I could have just snatched her by her hair and slung her, I am a maother of a very trying 14 year old boy, I can not even beging to imagine the things that she put these children through, I only wish that it had went into detail at the end of how Richards life has ended up and how he got there, from age 15. And what happened to Ross and Scott and Keith, did they too endure this pain, are they still around, what happened, I felt like I was kind of left hanging there at the end, but still a very good book. I have read all of Dave Pelzers books and am always just in awe at the behavior of this women. How he can forgive her is a huge step, I do not even know her and I feel hate and anger for her.

I have read all of Dave Peltzer books, it was wonderful to read his brother Richards account of the abuse Dave suffered and how he came to replace Dave in his mother's Eyes. I do wish he would have not left us hanging at the end of the novel though, I was left with more questions about his life once they moved then I might have been if he would have covered things up to the point of his marriage. I hope that he will write another book enlightening us on life once they moved to Utah. I highly recommend this book to everyone who has read Dave Peltzers books, if you haven't read them first so you understand this book to the fullest that the author wants you to.

Can't imagine what the negative reviewers are talking about. This is a brilliant book - as brilliant as all of Dave's. The writing is vivid, fascinating, excrutiating. Bravo to Richard for having the guts to be completely honest about his feelings for Dave at the beginning of the book, and his total honesty about what happened to him when David left. There has to be a special place in Hell for all the "do-gooders" who returned him to the monster called "Mother." Although I hated her, I felt more revulsion for the system (or lack of one) for failing all of the Pelzer children, again and again. And I don't have any sympathy for their father. He was an utter failure - despite Dave's nearly-miraculous ability to love and forgive him, I don't have to. I loathe his total, weak, cowardly abandonment of the boys who needed him. Frankly, I picture him as a kind of worm. Sorry, Dave and Richard, but I think he's the worst one of all - how could he?

After having read the 3 books by his brother David, it was very interesting to read the story from another child's viewpoint. And a reminder to we adults that events affect many others, whether intended or not. And how much influence we have on a a child's actions when they look upon an authority figure, parent or otherwise, as being an example to follow.