Brothers (and Me): A Memoir of Loving and Giving [Hardcover]

Donna Britt (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: December 8, 2011

· Donna Britt has always been surrounded by men-her father, three brothers, two husbands, three sons, countless friends. She learned to give to them at an early age. But after her beloved brother Darrell's senseless killing by police 30 years ago, she began giving more, unconsciously seeking to help other men the way she couldn't help Darrell. BROTHERS (AND ME) navigates Britt's life through her relationships with men-resulting in a tender, funny and heartbreaking exploration of universal issues of gender and race. It asks: Why, for so long, did Britt-like millions of seemingly self-aware women-rarely put herself first? With attuned storytelling and hard-wrought introspection, Britt finds that even the sharpest woman may need reminding that giving to others requires giving to oneself.

Editorial Reviews

Review

"Donna Britt is a born giver and along life's bumpy roads she found her share of takers. Combining her incredible talents of giving and writing, in this tender but gritty well-crafted memoir she dropped her fig leaf bearing her soul, faced her demons, and arose the victor. Never again will I read a newspaper headline without imagining the other brothers of the world behind it." (Ron Hall, coauthor of Same Kind of Different as Me )

"In this gutsy memoir, journalist Britt write engagingly about the men in her life, and how caring for them often robbed her of a sense of self-mission....Britt writes eloquently of a woman's sense of anguish and ambiguity in giving herself so completely." (Publishers Weekly )



"In her debut memoir, former Washington Post columnist Britt offers an introspective account of growing up in Gary, Indiana...A probing psychological exploration that delves to rarely tapped depths." (Kirkus )

"Moving." (AARP The Magazine )

"Achingly honest. An alternately raw and elegant memoir...A wrenching, introspective examination of a life through the prism of racism, sexism, and unconditional devotion. Donna Britt's insights into her roles as mother, wife, and sister to black men explores the gray and fuzzy complexity of human emotion when, for better or worse, imperfect people love other imperfect people." (Boston Globe )

"Few black women have written about black men more frankly with heartfelt eloquence than former Washington Post columnist Donna Britt." (Louisville Courier-Journal )

About the Author

Donna Britt is a former syndicated columnist for the Washington Post, writing on issues both topical and personal. She has won awards from the American Society of Newspaper Editors, the National Association of Black Journalists, and other organizations, and has been featured on Oprah, C-Span, and NPR. She lives in Maryland with her husband, youngest son, and male dog. To learn more, please visit www.donnabritt.net.

Product Details

• Hardcover: 320 pages
• Publisher: Little, Brown and Company; 1 edition (December 8, 2011)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0316021849
• ISBN-13: 978-0316021845
• Product Dimensions: 6 x 1.2 x 8.8 inches
• Shipping Weight: 15.2 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (15 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #564,630 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

14 of 14 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Warm, Loving, Beautiful, Insightful and Funny Memoir December 4, 2011

By Andrew L. Weinberg

Format:Hardcover

In my experience, most of us go through life year after year focusing on doing for others, refining an image of ourselves explicitly for others, and on the 'next next' thing in our own lives until one day we wake up and wonder, "What the hell happened? How did I end up as this person living this life? and perhaps most important (to me anyway), "Why wasn't I paying closer attention to my life as I was living it?!?" I don't know if this articulate and funny (I caught myself laughing out loud many times through this book) author was paying attention or not to her own life in real time, but I am grateful she was capable of the focus, presence and self-awareness it took to piece it all together to write this book because I learned so much about myself from reading it. I have heard it said that the best way to learn about yourself is to listen to someone else tell their story. The first few pages of this book grabbed me because I understood that's what was going on in this book - she was telling her story in a way I could relate to and learn from. I immediately realized the potential for this book to help me answer some of those questions about my own life and to interpret some of the choices I've made along the way. This was almost certainly not the intention of the author in writing this book. "Brothers and Me" is a beautifully-told memoir in which the author shares her deepest thoughts and feelings about how her relationships with her mother and father, friends, lovers, husbands, children and siblings came to form her self identity and worldview and were the psychological underpinnings for the choices she made on her path to becoming the person she is - all told with great honesty and an enviable degree of introspection. All her siblings, children and even her dog were male - and much of the book is about interpreting the constant gravitational pull of the influence of men - primarily black men - on her perceived role and duty as a wife, lover, mother, friend and extremely accomplished professional - i.e., as a multi-faceted human being. She concludes that many of the choices she made in life centered around her historical relationships with the men in her life, and her perceived need to give of herself to men - mostly to nurture them but sometimes (perhaps always?) to save them (from themselves, from others and from the universe at large). A great part of the beauty of this book is "watching" the author as she comes to many of these realizations - and again, for me that is one of the profound treasures to be found within these pages- the ability to watch her piece it all together and to learn from her technique. We watch the author develop the understanding that much of her life has been spent doing for others in an attempt to both "control" fate and to atone for perceived personal shortcomings that (in her opinion) resulted in tragedy for others. She comes to realize that all of her "unexamined giving" was an attempt to protect the ones she loved - to hold up her world, her family - a second chance to get it right for everyone she loves and to shield them from a cold, uncaring universe. How she reframes this personal compulsion into personal freedom and joy - her formula for letting go without changing the person she has become - is beautiful revelation as the book concludes. As a white single-parent 50-something male living in a stately Connecticut suburb bubble, the last thing I would have expected is to be so taken with a book ostensibly about a black woman growing up in the 1960s and her relationships with black men - I normally wouldn't be interested because I wouldn't anticipate relating to it or finding it very relevant to my life. But as I have tried to convey in this review, that's not really what the book is all about. The book is about how a person may come to understand their life by exploring the deep seated rationale behind the choices they have made. It's thoughtful, beautifully written, provocative insightful and very funny. I am thankful "Brothers and Me" came my way for many reasons, not the least of which is that I do believe I understand myself a bit better after having read it.

10 of 10 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Kudos, Donna Britt. December 7, 2011

By Pearce Combest

Format:Hardcover|Amazon Verified Purchase

I'm reading this book aloud to my girlfriend. Pronouncing the words in Brothers (& Me) is as entertaining as watching a humorous and insightful HBO series. A documentary concerned with life, love and understanding...only with fewer images (though the beautiful pictures included could tell a story of their own).

Britt does a superb job of assembling a backstory and a timeline that allows us to visualize her own personal journey from a thoughtful, boy-obsessed girl in Gary, Indiana to a successful, free-thinking journalist and mother. The story of her life surrounded by men is not only profound but includes wonderfully detailed aspects of family history and American-nostalgia (the good, the bad and the ugly). Between fits of tears and laughter, anyone looking for an honest and engaging memoir need not look further.

To hear Britt's lively voice and contemplative thoughts is a privelage for all who get a chance to read Brother (& Me).

10 of 10 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Courageous, Elegant and Painfully Honest December 4, 2011

By linda Carroll

Format:Hardcover|Amazon Verified Purchase

Donna Britt's great skill as a writer merges with her brave and elegant account of her life story. Brothers (and Me): A Memoir of Loving and Giving is beautiful, funny and painfully real. I couldn't put this book down,the best memoir of the year.