Customer Reviews

Brothers and Sisters in Adoption

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As the adoptive mom of four, all I can say is, boy I wish this book had been available when our family was growing through adoption. We didn't know what we didn't know and could have made transitions and family development so very much better. The wits to explain what to expect to the children already in the family when a new sibling arrives come with this supportive book. Brothers and Sisters in Adoption also seems especially great at working with parental guilt over not being able to immediately cure a child who brings the burdens of mental illness or at the least, a history of traumatic change. No sugar coating, this is a must read for any family growing through adoption. Arleta M. James has produced a handbook that is invaluable.

Often the question of adoption will involve siblings. When experienced parents consider adopting an older child or a sibling group they must go through a series of requirements imposed by adoption agencies that will include background checks, interviews, group meetings, reading assignments, as well as classes in parenting and the problems associated with adopted children. Often the children themselves with have a history of neglect or trauma that must be addressed. Drawing upon her many years of experience and expertise as a Cleveland, Ohio-based clinical therapist whose specialty is adoption and foster care, Arleta James has authored "Brothers And Sisters In Adoption: Helping Children Navigate Relationships When New Kids Join The Family", a compendium of advise, counsel, information, and commentary that deals with a roster of vital issues ranging from developing realistic expectations about the adoption process and the readiness of the family to adopt siblings; the role of fathers in adoptive families; as well as child displacement, disruption and dissolution issues. Of special note are the chapters on family mobilization and issues related to adopted children turning 18 and becoming adults in their own right. Enhanced with a glossary, references, an index, and a number of pertinent appendices, "Brothers And Sisters In Adoption" is highly recommended reading for anyone one considering the adoption of older children, distressed children, and siblings, making it an ideal and invaluable addition to personal, academic, community library, and adoption agency reference shelves.

What about brothers and sisters? Finally a book has been written, and written well, that considers the impact of placement on their well-being.

This practical sourcebook helps parents move all the way from the typical case description they will receive to preparation and finally homelife adjustments. The organization of the book is fantastic. The research and resources are thorough. Thanks, Arleta, for the contribution this will make in many, many children's lives. Thanks for giving us such a clear view of brothers and sisters in adoptions.

Deborah Gray, MSW, MPA author of Attaching in Adoption: Practical Tools for Today's Parents and Nurturing Adoptions: Creating Resilience after Neglect and Trauma, Perspectives Press.

This book will provide the answers to questions you don't even realize that you have. We have adopted four children from the foster care system and we have 5 birth
children. By fostering children first, we never knew for sure which children would
eventually be joining our family permanently. I wish we would have had this book as a resource while we were going through the foster and adoptive care for our children. Never did we realize the effect trauma, prenatal drug or alcohol exposure,or domestic violence would have on a child. Every one of these issues is addressed in Arleta James' book. Not only does she cover the effect on the brain, but the long term outlook is evaluated as well.

The examples of real families, makes this book very interesting, and easy to
relate to on a personal level. Once you read just a couple of the children's life stories, you will be able to understand what your child may be experiencing. In most cases, the devestating
effect of a child's past, is not given enough consideration when the child moves into a permanent family.
This book spells out some of the most basic human emotions our children are experiencing as they navigate
through some of the toughest life situations.

This book is perfect to go and look up a particular behavior, or family issue, and see some examples of
what other people have done to help their children move forward successfully. I highly recommend this book for anyone working with adoptive children. I have purchased several copies and given them to friends and even the guidance counselors in our school district.

This is a must read for every adoptive & foster parent.A book that should
be a mandated read for those entering into foster parenting & adoption.A
handbook for those professionals that care for & work with these children,
from caseworkers,counselers,therapists,teachers, etc...I personaly have
witnessed the lack of knowledge by professionals (all of the above)in the
area's that Arleta James addresses in this very informative & priceless book.My wife & I have been thru many professionals in these areas, & have
fought with many professionals,& government agencies to get understanding
& help for our children.We have fought hard, long, & often to obtain the
help our children & family has needed over the last 5yrs.The knowledge Arleta presents to us in this book, consists of a dedicated, caring,
remarkable profession, that has taken on the responsability of helping these children & families.I speak personally when I say Arleta James can
help all of us in understanding,& to successfully work our way through the trials & tribulations associated with these issues.Our family would
like to say " THANK YOU ARLETA " for helping all who read this insightful
well writen book.THANK YOU!!!!

BRIAN CUCKLER SR. & FAMILY

East Sparta,Ohio

Brothers and Sisters in Adoption is one of the best resources I have read for families adopting older children and children with traumatic backgrounds. I truly wish this book was around before we adopted. It will really help adoptive families examine their expectations, and help both parents and existing children develop more realistic expectations. Arleta explains the impact of the child's past trauma and the adoption on each member of the family: the newly adopted child, adoptive parents, and typically-developing children already in the family. She also explores the strain that can occur between spouses, and the differing expectations, responses, and parenting styles between fathers and mothers.

This resource is extremely comprehensive in the issues it covers - no aspect of older child adoption is left out. It offers valuable insight for parents in understanding everything from the impact of prenatal exposure, abuse, and neglect to getting support, and navigating special education. It helps parents see things through the new child's eyes, and understand some of the underlying reasons behind a child's disruptive behaviors. And it offers practical advice on the appropriate strategies to manage negative behaviors and avoid some of the situations that trigger them, as well as ways to support typically-developing siblings. Older child adoption is hugely rewarding, but also filled with intense challenges at times. Brothers and Sisters in Adoption will help the entire family navigate these challenges on the road to healing and becoming a family.

Christine Mitchell, author of:
Welcome Home, Forever Child: A Celebration of Children Adopted as Toddlers, Preschoolers, and Beyond and Family Day:: Celebrating Ethan's Adoption Anniversary

We just started the state training system in Ohio. The classes were great, but I already had insight into the topics because of this book. It's more indepth and is a great resource. If you are thinking about adoption or fostering of any kind, this is where you should start. It's a realistic overview of what you are getting yourself into. Raising kids is not easy, raising someone else's kid who's been through hell and back is even harder so we must be ready and prepare and train ourselves well. They need us.

This is one of the best books out there regarding expanding a family through adoption. I recommend it to everyone I come in contact with that is involved in the adoption world!

I really loved this book. It put a lot of things in perspective and gave me a viewpoint from our children's eyes.