I have been busy putting the final touches on what will be my very last book and therefore have not had the pleasure of typing trash here lately or spending quality time with my sluggish computer on any of the social networks besides the one that is shaped like a bluebird; but I miss the online prison and am trying my best to figure out a way to get thrown back in, so below I will share two crimes: an image that is mostly text, and a text that is mostly hot air.
I consider today’s journal entry to be a cheat post, because it consists of nothing but a roundup of my Twittering Machine’s recent droppings, the number of which equals a baker’s dozen minus two, which is to say: an accountant’s dozen.
First things first. Before sharing my SWEETWEETS with you, I must properly dispose of the following image, which was saved on my computer as a file named colorful spark winter joys stars circles.
SWEETWEETS Its love f
Species live and die just like the individuals that comprise them. Some people say that the fate of humankind is tied to the habitability of the Earth, or the lifespan of the Sun; therefore, to avoid expiring, humans must colonize other planets. Extinction is of course always a possibility; but, if humankind’s lineage is found to be thriving in futurity (even after the cataclysm of your choice has passed), over the interval, our descendants will have undergone such a change that they will bea
Before I share two proven facts here on this blog, I need to give myself an important reminder:
NOTE TO SELF: Don’t forget to purchase your latest book. It’s not the twin volumes whose covers went viral yesterweek (those titles, to date, have not yet managed to escape the publisher’s matrix) – no, it’s the last of the many absurdities that I composed over the past Seven Years of Social Famine.
However, if you look closely at the back cover of the second half of my two-part col
Before I unveil my thoughts, which were inspired by a blurb that I found on the back of a jug of hand sanitizer, I will share not one but two obligatory images.
Here is a picture of an actual compact disc:
And here is a close-up shot of the above disc’s hole:
One romantic thought:
Let’s say that you secretly admire a person. In so-called real life, if that person is standing behind you, you can never know whether or not she is eyeing you. You might think or even f
I posted nothing on this blog today or yesterday because all of my time got stolen by the devil Necessity; but I happened to draw nonsensical scribbles on the front of a letter while I was waiting for my pregnancy results (I’m just joking – I have no idea how babies are made), so I thought that it would be good to photograph this event and let it go viral. I hope to talk to myself here more very soon. TershyRad
Today I was thinking about careers. For as long as I can remember, I’ve wanted to be a mad scientist – like the kind that appears in old movies or in cartoons: one who’s so obsessed with his inventions that he never leaves his secret makeshift underground laboratory, which is filled with beakers of multicolored liquids that continuously billow smoke even when lukewarm. This morning I awoke with the realization that I’ve achieved that goal. For I wear safety goggles on the regular and never co
Before I prove that God is bisexual, I must share this torn photo that I found on the opposite side of the advert image that I shared a few days ago – my interpretation is that it looks like legs and shoes:
Scientific proof that the God of the Bible is a bisexual androgynous hermaphrodite
Genesis 1:27 reports that God created humankind “in his own image . . . male and female”; thus, God is at least double-sexed. And, being God’s clone, the first human was equall
Before I begin the present entry, which I titled We move through space in a certain way (please note that I capitalized only the initial character, to comply with what I assume is French tradition), I must share the following image, which says: “NIZE PulCs”:
I wish I were so attractive that anyone, after meeting me, would search for my name on the Internet and find my blog and my books and my ostrich and read all my words. I would like to get a telephone call in the even
Even though they’re not yet able to be found on the dusty shelves of bookstores, I want to share the purposely juvenile covers that I made last Thursday for my upcoming collection of self-amusements. These two volumes shall contain ALL of the books, writings, texts, and semi-sensical anti-fun that I have ever composed – even the claptrap that I posted on Facebook & Twitter. The only thing that they will not include is my Holy Scripture — I kept that text separate because it constitutes th
Above is a photo of a stack of bridal wedding rings. The picture has been turned on its side, to comply with the present craze for the widescreen format. It is unpleasantly cropped. I found it in a pamphlet of ads for local stores. It is printed cheaply on thin paper; and there are other images printed on its reverse side, which is why there is so much noise in what should be a pure white background. The rings themselves are obviously supposed to look beautiful – their metals should be shinin
I’ve been told that some cats like to eat small birds. This surprises me: I assume that small birds are unappetizing, because they’re made of nothing but feathers, bones, and air. It’s like eating the head of a fluffy white dandelion. But these cats reportedly have a passion for the strangest things. They can’t even glance at a small bird without feeling hungry. I think they also eat mice.
Today I’m performing the final tweaks on a pair of gorgeously ugly book covers that I finished last night (they will eventually clothe the two volumes of my collected writings) – so, instead of delivering my regular pompous oration, I’ll just present a few more photos of my desk or workspace or cutting room floor or whatever phrase commonly denotes a painter’s muddled palate or the outtake section of a film’s ‘DVD extras.’ . . . Yesterday I was so preoccupied with this task that I c
Being short on time, I drew a simple drawing for today’s post:
I wanted to share the above image alone, but my conscience warned me: ‘It is immoral to allow a blog entry’s visual content to outweigh or overshadow its textual content.’ (I hate my conscience.) So here is a quote from Giambattista Vico’s New Science: Scholars believed that the poets had signified prime matter by their myth of Proteus. In this myth set in Egypt, Ulysses on the shore wrestles with Proteus in the water,
In today’s entry, I will tell the reason why I love blogging. Since yesternoon’s entry was very long, I’ll limit the present one to a single brief paragraph. First, however, I need to share the photo that I took of this beautiful spring morning:
Blogging is an attractive activity for shy people who want to secure their private thoughts, because, even though the contents of blogs can be seen by the public, nobody actually reads them. This works perfectly for me: I like documenting my d
When I was a child, a public speaker visited our school and delivered to us youngsters the message: “Don’t do drugs!” Because of this, I’ve always remained drug-free. Now that I’m an adult, I’ve been able to publish a number of literary compositions; so I would love to travel around the nation delivering my own warning to schoolchildren: “Don’t write books.”
Pardon the above image’s extremely important message. Now here’s a section from the poem “Upon Nothing” by John Wilmot, Earl of
In this entry, I will disclose the secret to my success at basketball. But first, here’s a bird’s-eye view of a napkin:
When playing basketball, I always choose opponents that possess significantly less height than myself. This way, instead of having to execute complex dribbling maneuvers to dodge towering foemen, I can simply hold the ball in both hands overhead and walk straight toward the basket with ease. The other team cannot reach the ball that I am h
Here’s an illustration that I took from an instruction manual:
Now I will purge the contents of my Twittering Machine.
If you walk near a certain tree in this forest, a fiend will jump out and hug you.I wonder if prayers are like nerve signals that bring pain until God answers them, or if they’re more like e-mails that God simply deletes unread.Whenever I send you an “X” with two exclamation points, it means that I’m panting like a dog in anticipation of your
I try to post blurry webcam photos of myself at least twice per month, just to keep track of how handsome I have become since I started abusing alcohol. For this one, I strapped a helmet-cam to one of the rhinoceros rats who’ve overrun my apartment, in order to capture my physical appearance from the rodent’s point of view:
NOTE: Two days ago I began the process of emptying my brain of all contents. I wrote one blog entry and then another blog entry, but my mind still had some thought
Yesterday I typed some wandering thoughts here, but I had to quit before I was done; so I’ll type more thoughts today; and if Worldly Necessity interrupts me again, I’ll finish tomorrow. I hope that it doesn’t take more than three days to empty out my mind.
Before I re-begin, I need to share a picture from a TV ad. (I’ll share another image, from the same ad, at the end of this entry.) Here is a remote control with the words Space Command written underneath: <
I have one extra moment to write some thoughts. But, first things first – here’s a photo of two creatures that I found in a newspaper:
Why do people pay anyone to do anything? Today my mind wanders in this direction: The money that is normally spent on payroll should be used to purchase weapons instead – then businesses could just force their employees to labor. In the long run, this would improve the profit margin. People remain married to avoid the horrors of lonelin
I had been writing to myself almost daily here, but then the mailman tossed into our chimney a proof copy of my upcoming book, so I abandoned the online world to stoke the fire. (Only briefly, of course: for we are not permitted to escape from Hell.) Now, to remind myself how much I miss me, I’ll share one blurry person and a nonsense mantra. TershyRad