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Buffalito Destiny
 
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Buffalito Destiny [Paperback]

Lawrence M Schoen (Author)
4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (2 customer reviews)

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Book Description

0981924336 978-0981924335 June 1, 2009 paperback / softcover
"Makes for a fun read, especially given such a fantastic cast of characters." -BOOKLIST. "Only Lawrence Schoen could blend the Mayan eschaton, nightclub hypnotism, corporate elitism, radical environmentalism, and good old-fashioned slam-bang adventure fiction." - Jay Lake. "Fast-paced and mind-bending." - Karl Schroeder. A former stage hypnotist, the Amazing Conroy really just wants to have a good meal. He's now the wealthy CEO of a company that leases buffalo dogs, alien creatures capable of biting into and devouring nearly anything. When he attempts to implement a solution for cleaning up massive industrial waste sites, Conroy becomes targeted by ecological terrorists who resent the use of alien technology (living or otherwise) to heal the Earth. But kidnapping and the destruction of his corporate headquarters are the least of Conroy's problems. An unknown, telepathic intelligence has begun invading his dreams, warning of geological disasters that hinge on what Conroy does next. Further complicating his life are several groups of aliens, each believing that he has a special destiny to fulfil, though they don't necessarily agree what it is. Accompanied by his pet buffalito, Reggie, Conroy must elude terrorists, confound alien zealots, withstand temporal distortions throughout the former state of Texas, and explore ancient Mayan ruins. His adventures will result in his reunion with a long dead relative, a chance to experience the world's greatest sandwiches, exposure to alien bliss, a battle with a megalomaniac on the slope of an active volcano, and a trip to the asteroid belt for a final face-to-face confrontation with the creature that had been invading his dreams. Somewhere in the midst of it all, he has to find his true destiny.

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Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

80981924REVIEW:Schoen makes the leap from short fiction to novel-length adventure with this eclectic, oddball tale of a man swept up by destiny, aliens, and circumstance. The Amazing Conroy is a stage hypnotist who has parlayed an alien buffalo dog, a creature that eats anything and farts oxygen, into a powerful corporation worth billions. An ambitious plan to use these buffalitos to clean up toxic waste sites places him in direct conflict with a radical anti-alien ecoterrorist organization, and before long, Conroy is on the run with only his pet buffalito, Reggie, and his gambler pal, Left-John Mocker, to aid him. As bizarre dreams guide him inexorably towards a mysterious destiny, Conroy deals with prophetic aliens, ancient Mayan ruins, exquisite sandwiches and the temporally-unstable state of Texas. Part crisis-filled road trip, part gonzo race against time and all tongue-in-cheek humor and charm, this nutty tale may sound strange, but Schoen somehow makes it all come together. --This text refers to the Hardcover edition.

Product Details

  • Paperback: 264 pages
  • Publisher: Hadley Rille Books; paperback / softcover edition (June 1, 2009)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0981924336
  • ISBN-13: 978-0981924335
  • Product Dimensions: 9 x 6 x 0.6 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 10.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (2 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #2,290,547 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Lawrence holds a Ph.D. in cognitive psychology, was a college professor for 10 years, and currently works as the compliance officer for a mental health & addiction services medical center. He's one of the world's foremost authorities on the Klingon language. He also runs Paper Golem, a speculative fiction small press.

His fiction draws on his professional expertise, and it's no surprise to find themes of language, memory, and cognition throughout his work. There's a generally light and humorous tone to most of his fiction, and his style has frequently been described as harkening back to a simpler time in SF. In 2007 he was a finalist for the Campbell Award for Best New Writer, and in 2010 he was nominated for a Hugo Award for Best Short Story.


 

Customer Reviews

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Average Customer Review
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars An Entertaining Journey, April 21, 2010
By 
Larry B. Hodges (Germantown, Maryland) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   
This review is from: Buffalito Destiny (Paperback)
"Buffalito Destiny" was one of the more fun reads I've had this year. I do tend to like SF stories that take an interesting idea and takes it to its logical conclusions. In this case, we have the Buffalito, which can eat essentially *anything*, even solid rock or nuclear waste - the latter is key to the story - and convert it into oxygen, which it expels it by, well, you know. The story centers around the environmental and business efforts of Conroy (corporate icon, smuggler, environmentalist, hypnotist) and his pet Reggie, the main Buffalito in the story (though Conroy owns many more), and their battles with anti-alien extremism, since Buffalitoes are not native to Earth. (You meet various other aliens as well, including the mind-reading Arconi that Conroy stole the original breeding Buffalito from.) And then there's the lava pit fight that'll make you forget about Obi-Wan and Darth Vader! Highly recommended.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars Zany charm and a fun story, August 15, 2011
By 
Julie D. (Dallas, TX USA) - See all my reviews
(VINE VOICE)   
We meet The Amazing Conroy at the beginning of his career as a stage hypnotist. He's been stranded on an alien planet after making a delivery as a courier. This situation in and of itself begins to let the reader know about author Lawrence M. Schoen's talent in combining the mundane with the unexpected. Certainly, I'd never have imagined earning my way around the universe as a stage hypnotist.

The book proper is set in Conroy's present where he has smuggled an alien life form to Earth. Rarely has an alien been more adorable than the Buffalito Dog, Reggie. He is Conroy's personal pet and the leader of the rest of the Buffalito pack which forms the foundation of Conroy's corporation. Conroy has become incredibly wealthy by renting the services of his Buffalitos which literally eat anything and fart oxygen.

At the time we join the story, the Mexican president wants a demonstration of Conroy's services to convince his government to clean up toxic waste sites. However, this plan is put in jeopardy by an anti-alien, eco-terrorist group with no qualms about using extreme force to achieve their goal of banning aliens and their technology from the earth. To make matters worse, Conroy has been having mysterious dreams which he must decipher in order to fulfill his destiny of keeping the Earth from being destroyed.

These are only a few of the features of this entertaining novel which include the joys of Mexican sandwiches, a huge region of temporal instability in Texas, and a bus tour of Mayan ruins that includes one of the most creative alien races I've ever read about.

There is a zany charm about this novel which makes any threats seem less serious, although I was extremely curious about how Conroy was going to fulfill his destiny. The oddest but imaginative elements come together in the most ordinary of ways and somehow all hang together pretty well to form a story that kept me interested.

It helps that I simply love William Coon's narration although he does occasionally struggle with an accent (the Texan drawl was bravely attempted but not quite right). However, that is the only one that didn't ring quite true for me. His reading is half the charm of Conroy's character. This is the first time I've heard him use different voices for different characters and I feel sure that I wouldn't be able to read the actual book without hearing Coon's narration reading along in my mind's ear.

The story is not always imaginatively plotted, perhaps because so much else was going on that the author could only juggle so many balls in the air. I was able to peg the main eco-terrorist quite early in the story and hoped against hope (as it turns out) that the author would be able to sacrifice a character necessary to the story's integrity. However, there were other surprises that I didn't expect so it isn't as if the entire plot was obvious.

Buffalito Destiny is a great deal of fun even with a few plot glitches.

(This review was originally written for [...].)
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