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Building the Bonds of Attachment: Awakening Love in Deeply Troubled Children Paperback – August 8, 2006

ISBN-13: 978-0765704047 ISBN-10: 0765704048 Edition: 2nd

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Building the Bonds of Attachment: Awakening Love in Deeply Troubled Children + Attachment-Focused Parenting: Effective Strategies to Care for Children (Norton Professional Books) + Attachment-Focused Family Therapy Workbook
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Product Details

  • Paperback: 304 pages
  • Publisher: Jason Aronson, Inc.; 2nd edition (August 8, 2006)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0765704048
  • ISBN-13: 978-0765704047
  • Product Dimensions: 9 x 6.1 x 0.6 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 14.9 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (88 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #106,563 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews

Review

Everyone's read them—those books that fundamentally change the way you look at things. Before reading Building the Bonds of Attachment, I had read a great deal on the subject. Despite recurring behavioral problems with my older child, I thought I was on the right track. Then I read Hughes's book and finally understood what I had to do help my daughter. This is the book I'd recommend to every adoptive parent. (Ann Keisling Adoptive Families Magazine)

I thought the first edition of Building the Bonds of Attachment a magnificent book and recommended it to everyone I knew. The changes in the second edition make it even more essential reading for all who care for and work with children who have suffered neglect, loss, and trauma, and therefore haven't a clue about how to love and connect with others. This beautifully realized story of a young girl's struggle to learn how to love makes gripping reading and will be an inspiration for all those whocare for troubled children. In dramatized form the book presents a model both for the kind of therapy and the equally important kinds of parenting, that are needed to awaken love in deeply troubled children. The approach, which is securely founded inthe very latest research about trauma, attachment and brain development clearly lays out the kinds of care that a child needs in order to overcome the scarring effects of early neglect and frightening physical abuse. An important new emphasis is on the crucial importance of caregivers' understanding and coming to terms with their own early attachment experiences. This is a must read book that will have a profound influence on the whole field of treatment of troubled children. (Phyllis B. Booth, MA, LCPC, LMFT, RPT/S, director of training at the Theraplay Institute)

Daniel Hughes has once again proven his keen insight into the psyches of unattached children. This book is filled with gems of wisdom about the therapeutic parenting of wounded children and the often counterintuitive ways one has to respond to their behavior. Through the voices of a foster mother, psychotherapist, and social worker, Hughes creates a pattern for understanding, empathizing, and treating these vulnerable and provocative children in a manner than can bring true healing, not just temporary relief. In this edition, Hughes has added the importance of having the mother look into her own attachment issues to ensure that the child can feel safe enough to relinquish control to her, an essential step toward self-regulation. This book is a must-read for all adoptive and foster parents and the professionals who work with them. (Nancy Verrier, adoptive mother, psychotherapist, and the author of The Primal Wound and Coming Home To Self)

Dr. Hughes has done the impossible: take the gold standard in practical texts for both the clinician and the foster or adoptive family, and make it better, by nearly any measure. Where would we have been without the first edition of this clear-headed, practical, clinically sound book? And now Dr. Hughes has taken the courageous step of modifying some of his own ideas and recommendations, in accord with new research, and the honing of his own views through continued clinical practice. (Michael Trout, author of The Jonathon Letters, Director of The Infant-Parent Institute, Inc)

I thought the first edition of Building the Bonds of Attachment a magnificent book and recommended it to everyone I knew. The changes in the second edition make it even more essential reading for all who care for and work with children who have suffered neglect, loss, and trauma, and therefore haven't a clue about how to love and connect with others.This beautifully realized story of a young girl's struggle to learn how to love makes gripping reading and will be an inspiration for all those who care for troubled children. In dramatized form the book presents a model both for the kind of therapy and the equally important kinds of parenting, that are needed to awaken love in deeply troubled children. The approach, which is securely founded in the very latest research about trauma, attachment and brain development clearly lays out the kinds of care that a child needs in order to overcome the scarring effects of early neglect and frightening physical abuse. An important new emphasis is on the crucial importance of caregivers' understanding and coming to terms with their own early attachment experiences.This is a "must read" book that will have a profound influence on the whole field of treatment of troubled children. (Phyllis B. Booth, MA, LCPC, LMFT, RPT/S, director of training at the Theraplay Institute)

From the Publisher

SPEICAL FEATURES: --Comprehensive model of treatment for high-risk, traumatized, children and youth --Application of attachment theory and research for psychotherapy and parenting --Narrative format for a detailed description of the model and interventions --Applicable for both professional and lay readership

More About the Author

Daniel A. Hughes, is a noted practitioner, consultant, and educator of attachment-focused family therapy, and founder of the Dyadic Developmental Psychotherapy Institute. He lives in Annville, PA.

Customer Reviews

This book was an easy read and quite helpful.
Elise Moss
I would highly recommend this book to anyone working with, parenting and loving a child that has attachment issues.
Cocoa Mom
Daniel Hughes does a wonderful job of providing real life examples and behaviors of an Attachment Disordered child.
"dg2emsill"

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

160 of 165 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on March 27, 2000
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
This book was so interesting and readable, I read it from cover to cover in a day. I'm not a foster parent, I'm a teacher, but I have dealt with emotionally disturbed children in my classroom (in fact, I'm dealing with one this year). This book gave me so much insight into why these children act the way they do. Now I understand why they have such a need to be in control of everything, why they will do destructive things with seemingly no motive whatsoever (breaking their favorite toys, destroying their favorite books, etc.) Now I understand why things always get worse just as they seemed to be getting better. Most importantly, now I understand why these kids can't handle praise and rewards, and why those stupid behavior modification programs the administrators and counselors always suggest always seem to make the problem worse. Thank you Daniel A. Hughes!
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68 of 72 people found the following review helpful By "nursepam2000" on December 16, 2000
Format: Paperback
Although I was immensely moved by this book, and found the ideas presented thoughtful and compelling, there is a bit of Cinderella-esque fantasy involved. Most certainly Dr. Hughes illustrates the picture and the drama of the unattached child in a clear and concise manner, I would caution parents and would be parents, however, that within the confines of the foster care system, these therapeutic families and incredibly skilled therapists are not usually the norm.It would be my hope that one day every child be afforded the resources available to the fictional Katie Harrison. In the meantime, it does give foster and adoptive parents a roadmap to follow. And although there are cautionary statements throughout the book to indicate that these methods are not always successful, the hope is something to celebrate.Lastly, I hope people recognize that this child is not quite seven when she reaches her therapeutic foster placement and that with each passing year, the task in teaching children how to attach becomes greater. I highly recommend this book as a supplement to a more extensive library on attachment issues.
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48 of 51 people found the following review helpful By Maureen Fitzgerald on March 13, 2000
Format: Paperback
This is a must have book for anyone dealing with attachment disorder. I have read it over and over and learned something substantial each time. After about 6 months of failed attempts to find a therapist trained to work with my four year old daughter and I, I finally bought this book and dove in. I have been doing therapy with my daughter for about two months as described in the book and now we have a budding new relationship. A reciprocal one. She is beginning to love and trust. This is the missing peice of the puzzle. It makes sense.
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25 of 26 people found the following review helpful By "dg2emsill" on April 13, 2002
Format: Paperback
When I read this book, it was difficult at first; since it was too much like real life. Daniel Hughes does a wonderful job of providing real life examples and behaviors of an Attachment Disordered child. As I read the book, from a mother's perspective, I found myself riveted to the pages, looking for answers to the same questions that "Katie's" Mom/Foster Moms were looking for....how to break down the barriers to love!! The scariest part was that "Katie" could very well be my child....I wondered how Daniel Hughes had managed to know so much about my life.....right down to my thoughts, words and feelings. He has done a remarkable job of giving the reader insight to the Primary Caregiver's (mother's) relationship or lack of, with this deeply hurt child. As well as, the challenges faced within the family structure (Mom is generally seen as the ogre)...splitting and manipulating are key tools used by these children. Yet, on the other hand he has balanced that with the eyes and knowledge of the therapists (some good and some not so good)....but then this is the reality of living with and parenting a child with Attachment Disorder.
Thank you Daniel Hughes for making my life seem real and for making me realize that I am not crazy and my child is not the perfect angel 'outsiders' perceive her as!!!
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19 of 19 people found the following review helpful By Jessica H. Langerman on September 6, 2007
Format: Paperback
My husband and I adopted a 7 year old girl two years ago. Like so many well-meaning but naive new parents, we had only a vague idea of what life with a traumatized child would be like. We assumed that love, stability, structure and consistency would heal her. We were wrong. For over a year, we struggled with such ugly, mean, rejecting behaviors that I became significantly depressed... until I read Dan Hughes' book. That was the beginning of a new stage in our lives, as no one and nothing has helped us like it has. Our therapists hold Mr. Hughes in the highest regard - he is enormously respected and admired because his compassionate, beautiful ideas WORK. I cannot recommend this book highly enough.
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22 of 23 people found the following review helpful By Annette R. Farrington on March 22, 2003
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
Having been raising children with attatchment issues for more than 17 years, I was totally thrilled to find this book. It gave true insight to what one deals with when they choose to raise a child with attachment disorder an describes the child's perspective as well. I have bought 2 copies for myself, so I can loan one out (which I have several times) and I have helped others to order the book so they could learn and help heal these children as well. THANK YOU Dr. Hughes for your good work and commitment to these children with such hurting souls.
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39 of 44 people found the following review helpful By mama23 on February 22, 2005
Format: Paperback
Yes, this book reads like a suspense novel - and - it IS chocked full of facts and information about Reactive Attachment Disorder. The "but" is this: Katie's foster mom is portrayed as someone closer to sainthood than Mother Teresa. I had the privilege of speaking with Dan Hughes about this and he admitted that perhaps he did make her a bit too saintly. My problem with it is that it makes real mothers feel worse than they already do about dealing with our children with RAD. Most real human mothers could not maintain the level of calmness, acceptance, and day-to-day living with a child like Katie without breaking at some point. At least I couldn't nor could any of the adoptive mothers I've asked. Read and enjoy the book but remember that the foster mom isn't real, you are.
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