Customer Reviews

Building a Home with My Husband: A Journey Through the Renovation of Love

5 star:		(24)
4 star:		(10)
3 star:		(4)
2 star:		(4)
1 star:		(0)

 

 

I always feel guilty when I read great reviews for a book that I did not like. The book is well written, but it didn't hold my interest after the first 25 pages. It was paced too slow and the comparisons of home renovation and life renovations fell flat for me.

The author seemed to have an epiphany once per chapter. I'm happy that she has found her life partner, but sorry she seems to have to work so hard to appreciate him, and her busy life.

For me the book was too slow. Walking (crawling)through an extensive renovation does not plot enough to keep the pages turning.

Rachel Simon is a wonderful storyteller and writer. She can make a topic as mundane (and chaotic!) as home renovation meander through a story about family, abandonment and love weave into one. This is a special talent few writers can achieve.

I was expecting a story about a quarreling couple fighting over where the new deck should go, the price of goods and city ordinances. And although we do learn about such things, these topics do not overtake the reader. Obstacles are encountered and overcome with humor and sensitivity and the couple tackle the next problem. The interesting thing is that there always ARE problems with the house and neighbors and costly hidden fees.

Readers familiar with Simon's previous book "Riding the Bus With My Sister" should be used to Rachel's writing style, but this book, which reads like a sequel to her book about Beth on the bus, adds more insight into her own pains and agonies of her own family and the battles she fought as a younger woman over her own mother and mentally disabled sister. Some of these characters return for more detail as people of Rachel's past.

This home renovation, then, is more than just a diary of what it took to renovate this house on Teacher's Lane, it's also a book about discovering her own self, her painful past, old friends, even older ghosts, and overcoming fears (that began with a home burglary). Simon details the memories we all experience when packing up a household ends up being more about a long walk down Memory Lane.

Alas, it's not just a walk down Memory Lane though. Just as the title suggests, the house that Rachel moved in with her now husband Hal evolved from a painful and crowded house into a home, a house that they renovated together to build into a home, now finished and ready for the couple to call their very own.

People who read this book expecting expert advice on what to calculate when taking on a renovation job may be disappointed in this book's tempo. (Much of the home renovation prices are revealed at the end of the book). This book is more about the commitment one takes on when renovating a house into a home. Much like finally getting married to the same man one has spent almost 20 years with, "Building a Home" is a love story about dedicated love, pain and sacrifice and understanding one's own inner fears. This book may tempt other couples to take on the same task in order to strenghten their own marriage.

Be warned though: only the strong will survive.

The author seems to dwell on the negative. Not an uplifting or otherwise enjoyable read. The author can't let go of what happened it the past. It seems that she doesn't want to have a good life now, since she had difficulties before. She lets the past bog her down. I didn't connect with the author. It felt like I was listening to a complainer and my only thought was, how do I get away from this person. So, I never did finish the book. You can find a better use of your time than this book.

I didn't enjoy this book at all. I appreciated the author's ability to write, she is very skilled, but the content left me cold.

There are sections that are too drawn out, I think the author is going for some kind of effect, but it did not work for me. It felt self-indulgent without any payoff for the reader. The whole book is very monotone. I felt sorry for the husband most of the time since he clearly loves her and it seems she almost relishes in her dysfunction that keeps him at arm's length for 19 years.

This is actually a pretty negative book and I don't know if the author realizes that. She discovers how she really feels about her husband, but I didn't feel like the message was worth the journey. I think is is brave to put oneself out there like this, and I am obviously in the minority, but I did not enjoy her revelations.

I really had high hopes for this book. I really wanted to like it and at times I did but mostly I just found the book to let me down. The book wasn't as interesting as I had hoped. The author's writing style wasn't everything that I had hoped either. The author and her husband decided to renovate their home instead of just move. As she journeyed through the process, it brought up childhood memories and issues. She switches back and forth from present to the past and sometimes I found that a little distracting in the reading. But mostly, I just didn't bond with the author. The writing fell a little flat for me and I just didn't eagerly read it up like I thought I would. Wish it had been better.

This book was a disappointment. Author Rachel Simon has wonderful command of language, but the tale she shares in BUILDING A HOME WITH MY HUSBAND is boring and self-indulgent.

She is frank about her difficult childhood. And it seems clear that, as a result of the emotional damage she quite reasonably suffered at the hands of her parents, she became excessively self-involved and withdrawn.

By the time the "journey" that this memoir describes occurs, she had become so whiney and self-obsessed that it was difficult to understand how her husband could tolerate her.

Still, to her credit, she did grow emotionally from the travails of the renovation that is the theme here; in the process, she came to appreciate her marriage more.

Though well-written, this book should have been more interesting and less about the author's internal anxieties.

This is a quiet read of a book. What I really enjoyed about the book was the honest watershed moments the author has in finding the purpose of love in her life. The book is mainly about her discovering the "ahh ha" moments in her life while supporting her husbands desire in renovating the house (she would rather sell after it is broken into). The book also visits the relationships between her and her mother, sisters, but mainly her faithful husband. I really enjoyed the book because it is a book you can leave and come easily pick back up. It is not a book you will HAVE to stay up at night to read the whole book in a single reading. I am not sure she needs to be so detailed in the actual renovation of the house because it does slow the book down alittle bit. But I love her style of writing and pulling from her first book, which I will be wanting to read now. I would recommend this book for quiet and lazy afternoons.

The book was a surprise, a very pleasant surprise, but a surprise nonetheless. I did not read the title carefully, and was unfamiliar with the author's past work. I expected the primary focus of the book to be about home renovation and the calamities that befall the undoubtedly hapless couple. Well, a home is actually renovated, and there certainly are calamities during the work, but the beautifully written book is about so much more.

Since I was prepared for construction nuts and bolts, rather than constant examination and exploration of the author's personal past history -- failings and victories -- epiphany after epiphany -- it took a while to let the book envelope me. I initially fought what seemed to be an indulgence I could not afford, taking the time, when there is little time in this stressed economy, to pause and process life. Her sentiments, so genuine and profoundly human, are clearly woven through each step and misstep of the building process. I was lured in.

This book is beyond "a good read" it somehow magically illuminates dark corners and twisted paths that reside in most of our lives. Her exploration is a reminder that taking the time to do the difficult work on ourselves always improves the actual living of our lives.

Rachel Simon's tender memoir, Building a Home with My Husband, is not something you should rush through, or read in small doses. It's one of those books where you want to set aside a good block of time, curl up in your favorite chair, and savor a leisurely read.

Any couple that has survived a home renovation can attest to the utter chaos that ensues during that process, putting the best of relationships to the test. As Rachel and her husband forge through the process of blueprints and paint chips and deal with finances and insecurity, long-buried feelings bubble to the surface, as Rachel begins a journey of self-discovery and renewal.

The problem with home renovation is that time will not stand still while we choose doorknobs and install flooring. Rachel's world beyond the doors of this home spins on. Work pressures, siblings, parents, and friendships must be tended to and nurtured. Things go wrong and plans go awry in home renovation and in life. How we choose to deal with those circumstances determines the final outcome.

It's not really about the house. Building a Home with My Husband is about trust and compassion. It's about love and acceptance. It's about attempting to understand the complexities of the human spirit. It is about, as the title suggests, building a home.

Beautifully written!

Now it looks like I'm going to have to pick up a copy of Rachel's first memoir, Riding the Bus with My Sister: A True Life Journey.

The author has a nice style to her writing that makes it easy to read and keeps your interest through the entire book. Rachel Simon tells of how she lived with her present husband for years, then they split up and in later years meet up again and get married. Hal is a great guy and I hope she doesn't mind, but my sympathy was with him for the entire book!

They are renovating a 100 year old house that Hal had when they were married. Originally, after they were robbed, they had planned on selling but found that it would be better to renovate. So they move out during the renovation. From the first, they have problems. It takes Hal a year to prepare the plans (he's an architect by the way). After spending a whole year doing that, they find it will cost too much to do all they planned, so they start revising the plans. Then they have trouble getting a contractor to take on the job for what they can afford.

Poor old Hal ends up working his regular job and working on the house in the evenings. His easy smile starts to fade the more tired he gets. He makes mistakes and Rachel doesn't seem to have much sympathy for him. She is useless in every department...she can't even paint, for goodness sake!

You can see where this is going...poor old Hal working himself to death and her being no help at all! But still, the man loves her and she starts seeing all the good points in him. Pretty soon, I was more interested in the renovation of their love than in the renovation of the house. I'm glad to say Rachel finally came to appreciate what a great guy she has.

Also, since I've gone through this I can even have some sympathy for her. My husband decided to build our daughter a house. It took him 2 years. There were days, I got so fed up with him that I thought about pushing him off the roof myself just so I could go home!

If you are thinking of renovating with your husband, you better ask yourself first if your love can survive all the pitfalls you will surely have along the way.

An interesting book and very enjoyable!