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Bullied: What Every Parent, Teacher, and Kid Needs to Know About Ending the Cycle of Fear Paperback – August 6, 2013

4.7 out of 5 stars 45 customer reviews

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Editorial Reviews

Review


“This is an important book on an important subject. We are glad to see such a broad and considered approach taken on the complex subject of bullying.”
(Ben Cohen, MBE, Chairman, Ben Cohen StandUp Foundation)


Bullied is an excellent how-to guide for addressing bullying and creating a culture of acceptance and respect. I can’t recommend this book enough to parents and educators.”
(Trudy Ludwig, Children's Advocate & Best-selling Author of Confessions of a Former Bully)


Bullied is a captivating blend of stories, research and guidance. Goldman’s odyssey as a blogger mom at the epicenter makes her a powerful voice for positive change. Her insights make this a comprehensive and indispensable bullying prevention resource.”
(Judy S. Freedman, M.S.W., L.C.S.W., author of Easing the Teasing-Helping Your Child Cope with Name-Calling, Ridicule, and Verbal Bullying)


“A well-researched guide to combating bullying…This book is a must-read for parents with children of any gender. Valuable support, resources and concrete actions for safely navigating the social wilderness of adolescence.”
(Kirkus)

“Carrie Goldman has written a compelling, well-organized book providing a depth of knowledge about a national crisis and deftly showing how people working together in schools and communities can eradicate bullying.” (New York Journal of Books)

From the Back Cover

Winner of National Parenting Publications Award and Mom's Choice Award!

Everybody knows how it feels to be ostracized, isolated or taunted, but most of us are at a loss when it comes to knowing how to make it better. In Carrie Goldman's groundbreaking book, Bullied, she offers concrete solutions for parents, teachers, and kids on how to effectively respond to painful situations—whether it is normal social conflict or more serious bullying.

Goldman's warm, engaging style combines the real-life stories of bullies, victims, bystanders, and their parents with the most cutting edge scientific research to provide a thorough analysis of cruelty in our culture. She explores how the pop culture permeates homes and schools, often impacting the way kids view those who are different from the accepted norm.

Bullied comprehensively addresses issues such as:

  • The media's influence on aggression and bullying
  • How to prevent cyberbullying, or how to manage cyberbullying once it has begun
  • How to safely shift from being a bystander into a witness or an ally
  • Effects of bullying on the brain, both for bullies and for victims
  • Steps to take with the school if you are being bullied or sexually harassed
  • A comprehensive look at restorative justice as a non-punitive response to bullying
  • Techniques to help you deal with verbal taunting in the moment it is happening
  • Identifying the difference between normal social drama and bullying
  • Knowing when to ask for help and how to access effective help

The mother of a bullied first grader, Goldman's inspiring true story triggered an outpouring of support from online communities around the world. Bullied is a research-based book born from Goldman's blog post about the ridicule her daughter suffered for bringing a Star Wars thermos to school—a story that went viral on Facebook and Twitter before exploding everywhere, from CNN.com and Yahoo.com to sites all around the world. More than 200 people were interviewed for the book, including parents, teachers, kids, social workers, authors, celebrities, researchers, psychologists, actors, actresses, and school administrators. It is a wealth of knowledge packaged in a fascinating read.

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Product Details

  • Paperback: 368 pages
  • Publisher: HarperOne; Reprint edition (August 6, 2013)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0062105086
  • ISBN-13: 978-0062105080
  • Product Dimensions: 5.3 x 0.8 x 8 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 9.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (45 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #490,217 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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More About the Author

Carrie Goldman is the award-winning author of Bullied: What Every Parent, Teacher, and Kid Needs to Know About Ending the Cycle of Fear (Harper Collins, 2012). Goldman is a regular blogger for The Huffington Post, ChicagoNow, and Psychology Today, and her work on parenting has been featured by NPR, CNN Headline News, MSNBC, Fox, WGN, ABC Radio, CNN.com, etc.

Goldman works with schools, corporations, and community groups on bullying prevention, intervention, and reconciliation.

Goldman received her B.S. from Northwestern University and her M.B.A. from the Kellogg School of Management. She lives in Illinois with her husband and three young daughters.

Customer Reviews

Top Customer Reviews

Format: Paperback
Let’s start with this: (800) 421-3481. That’s the number to call if your kid is being bullied and your school is not effectively handling the situation. It’s the hotline to the U.S. Department of Education’s Office of Civil Rights. The author, Carrie Goldman, included this number somewhere in the middle of this book. People looking for this book may need that number sooner, rather than later, without having to dig around to find it.

And that’s my main recommendation about this book: that it could have been organized a bit more sharply to deal with information upfront that can resolve a serious situation. Instead, the other opts to speak about her own daughter liking Star Wars and the peer fallout, and then the following support she received. The author then gives a few case studies that end with sad and personal results of bullying. It’s an interesting read that flows well, but doesn’t have the bite a book of this nature should have.

Looking at the chapter titles at the second-half of this book, you would believe some real meat of the matter would be talked about. More personal stories. Within these stories, school programs were mentioned, including acronyms, but nothing in detail was discussed. What are these programs? What do these acronyms stand for? What is effective in the program and what are the lacking areas? Instead, there is a short appendix section in the back that briefly overviews (like a paragraph each) the previously mentioned programs. Really, each program could have its own chapter.

The author did a great job at researching and interviewing other sources—mostly interviewing. The author includes several conversations she’s had with other authors of this same topic. It helps make the whole book more personal and relatable.
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Format: Hardcover
This is not philosophy, this is a must read guide. I liked the straight forward style and feel I'll be able to advise my kids in a more relevant style now. Recommended.
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Format: Hardcover
I'm thrilled to be reviewing Bullied: What Every Parent, Teacher, and Kid Needs to Know About Ending the Cycle of Fear by Carrie Goldman during anti-bullying week at the public schools, and specifically at my school to "my" kids.

In Bullied: What Every Parent, Teacher, and Kid Needs to Know About Ending the Cycle of Fear author Carrie Goldman explains the impetus for her writing a book on bullying: "In November 2010, I wrote a [blog] post called 'Anti-Bullying Starts in the First Grade' for my blog, Portrait of an Adoption. I was concerned because my daughter, Katie, was upset about being teased for carrying a Star Wars water bottle. Apparently, Star Wars was only "for boys. (pg. xi) " Goldman's six year-old daughter Katie was being bullied for, among other things, her Star Wars backpack and water bottle.

In response to her post, the cyberspace community rose to Katie's defense in an overwhelming show of support for young girls who love Star Wars... and all other people who have been bullied for being different in one way or another. The outpouring of encouragement, as well as the numerous stories shared, spurred Goldman on to researching bullying. What she found is humbling and shows that, although some progress has been made, more work needs to be done.

"We are closely tracking bullying and taking steps to reduce aggressive acts. We are counting the victims. A 2010 study by the National Center for Education Statistics found that 32 percent of students between the ages of twelve and eighteen reported being bullied within six months prior to being surveyed. Of the students surveyed, 62 percent reported having been bullied once or twice a year, 21 percent once or twice a month, 10 percent once or twice a week, and 7 percent reported being bullied every day. (pg.
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Format: Hardcover
Carrie Goldman's "Bullied" is an excellent example of what happens when parents are forced to become activists, and Goldman's knowledge, passion, and understanding of the topic of bullying shines in this book. "Bullied" hits the target when it comes to what causes so much of this behavior: rigid rules on how boy and girls can look or act. When we break down stereotypes, we find that we are more alike than different, and "Bullied" offers practical advice on how to turn around a bullying situation with your child.
I highly recommend this book to parents and educators.
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Format: Hardcover
As a parent, grandparent I was astounded how often this is happening. As an adoptive parent, this was insightful on a whole different level. There were so many different issues that honestly never entered my mind.

I have taken this book to heart....this should be in EVERY families libraries, and NOT on Kindle. IN PURE BOOK form, that can be reached for, often, and that can be lent out, sparingly, you will want it back! Better yet? BUY the book for your children who have children, your friends...GREAT holiday gift, AND, Baby showers....Hey, we used to give Dr. Spock's books , but this is a fabulous read for new moms too...ok, we can wait for them to get the babies home for a few weeks....BUT...the point....Bullying starts as EARLY as WE allow it to start.

My son will be reading this and has decided to do an English paper on it, and yes will be using this book as a reference. This book is THAT good!

Please, pick it up, read it, share it, whether by book clubs, just talking or blogging about it, but share....Our children need us , our grandchildren need us, Hell, our neighborhood kids need us....We need to be the kind of adults that help our young ones stop this atrocity.....

And of course...........5 STARS!!!!

Happy Reading......
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