Customer Reviews

The Bully at Work: What You Can Do to Stop the Hurt and Reclaim Your Dignity on the Job

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I suffered an incident of bullying at work for the past two years. In my case, I got things successfully resolved when one bully left of his own accord, and the other bully was stopped by senior management (I was fired, and senior management rehired me when I went over the bully's head). According to this book, this happens in only seven percent of cases. I feel very lucky. In my case, the only piece of the puzzle that was missing was WHY this happened to me, and this book really helped clarify that for me and bring the whole incident to closure.

I just found this book and read it, and if I had had it during the time all of this was going on, it would have helped me immensely. I experienced all of the behaviors described in this book, and I think the reasons given for the behavior are right on the mark. When my e-mail friends suggested the same reasons (before I read this book), I found them so far-fetched (such as perhaps I was making the bullies look bad through my competence-I said to myself, "They are professional people; surely they are self-confident about their own work.")

This book looks at reasons for bullying, and who become targets for bullying behavior (how and why those targets are chosen). It discusses bullying in other European countries, as well as South Africa, and what progress legally has been made against passing laws against bullying in the workplace. These laws are compared with the legal progress/standing of the target in the United States. The book discusses health ramifications on the target, and all possible actions that can and should or should not be taken personally, and in the workplace.

If I had read this book MUCH sooner (such as when the bullying FIRST started), it would have helped me emotionally. I would have realized MUCH sooner what was happening, and known that I wasn't crazy. I could have fought back sooner, and would have known how, and which strategies to use. I also would have kept detailed records of each bullying incident, and I would have gotten witnesses' statements. In short, if you are even questioning yourself about whether bullying is happening to you, or not, BUY THIS BOOK.

While much has been written on the topic of workplace violence, much less attention is paid to a more widespread problem - workplace bullying. Gary and Ruth Namie claim that one in five workers in the U.S. have been targeted by a bullying colleague or, more commonly, a bullying boss. The authors flesh out this claim in The Bully at Work by describing the prevalence of workplace bullying and the corrosive effects that such behavior has upon its targets. But the real value in this book comes from the detailed advice it provides to bullying victims. The Namies tell victims how to cope with the stress and other psychological wounds that bullying can cause, and then unveil a step-by-step action plan. This plan stretches from initial internal measures that victims can take to defend themselves to - employers take careful note - legal recourse. This eminently useful guide elevates the book beyond the reach of self-empowerment literature and into the realm of practical knowledge. As such, we [...] recommend this book to any employee who has been bruised by a workplace bully, and to managers who are - like it or not - responsible for spotting and eliminating bullying behavior.

This book has comforted me more than I can say, and I just wish I'd had it available in the early 90s when I was going through three years of relentless workplace bullying. Even the severe illness and death of one of my close family members did not deter the manager and co-workers who harassed, ridiculed, and humiliated me; they were completely heartless. Because their torment was neither sexual, ethnic, nor religious in nature, I felt I had no recourse but to resign.

At the time of my resignation, I was taking sleeping medication and antidepressants, and being treated for chronic stomach problems. Within a month of leaving, I was off all prescription drugs. Although I had nightmares four or five nights a week for more than a year, and was diagnosed with post-traumatic stress syndrome, at least I was finally free from the daily abuse. I thank God that I got out before I suffered irreparable harm; my research tells me that some people are no longer able to work after this kind of experience.

My former manager is still at the company, doubtless causing untold grief for another stressed-out employee who is struggling desperately to please her. Tyrants like her must always have a scapegoat; trampling upon other people is what makes them feel superior.

This book reassured me that I am not alone, and that the abuse wasn't my fault. Thank God for the Namies. They have performed an invaluable public service by writing "The Bully at Work." Kudos to them!

I also highly recommend a related book, "Mobbing: Emotional Abuse in the American Workplace" by Noa Davenport, which is available here on Amazon. If you've read this far, you are probably seeking help. Good luck to you, my friend.

I had reported (as required by the small city goverment where I work) a nasty incident by my boss who is the quintessential bully. My report was really banal--just the facts. Then, just in the nick of time, I found this book! The actions by HR were precisely as the Namies said they would be, textbook almost. HR will go to any length to protect management and blame the bully's target. Further, weaker co-workers will not tell the truth and all bullys lie. Thanks to this book I have been able to laugh at the absurd results, keep my sense of humor, and chalk it up to "bureaucracy as usual." Otherwise, it would have been devastating, but instead this played out just as the book predicted. Buy it and think of it as a survivor/sanity manual. I also learned that having stood up to the bully, he will now set about finding another target. I can hardly wait! Until this country gets anti-bully legislation (and it's coming) there will be plenty of workers who should read this book. Sadly, it won't be the workers in HR since the truth is not their priority.

I did not realize that I had been the target of a particularly skillful bully until I spotted this excellent book at the local bookstore. A man who could not tolerate a challenge to fix something that he had broken ran me out of a neighborhood. This guy and his wife used every tactic in this book to make my life miserable.

I was blessed to find this book in the middle of this tumultuous event. I was then able to put the conflict into the perspective of a bully-target dynamic, and I could then take the steps to transform this nightmare into a profound journey to re-establish my strength and goodness.

Bullies are toxic beings and cause havoc to decent people. The Namies document how bullying and Machiavellian competitive tactics cost the average workplace tens in not hundreds of thousands of dollars in lost productivity, sick leave, legal fees, job loss, and the hiring and retraining of revolving door personnel.

The Namies state that one in six people lose jobs as a result of workplace violence. If this were a disease this would be considered an epidemic, and the National Institute of Health would fully fund research to wipe out this phenomenon. Since I have become aware of the prevalence of bullying, nearly everyone I have talked with knows someone who has suffered from this industrial malady.

If you find that you are a "typical" target, a person who loves their independence, prefers cooperation and productive problem-solving, is very skilled at what they do and an ethical whistle blower this book is essential to insure that you are protected from a Jekyl and Hyde or Screaming Mimi.

Whistle blowers are the salt of the earth; each and every employee or manager (employees can bully also) should consider this book a must read.

I am a survivor of workplace bullying. With the Namies' first book, I was able to put a name to and gain insights into what was happening to me and my co-workers. Once I was able to recognize the bullying in my workplace, I was able to make the kind of rational decisions that allowed me to exit that job with my dignity, health,and sanity in tact. Reading their second book:"The Bully at Work", I have been able to answer those haunting "why me" questions, to identify myself, the bully, and all the personality types; and the part we each played in the bullying process. This book gave me the research-based information needed to understand the things we all should do to protect ourselves from workplace bullying. The book was a vital part of closure and healing for me. I can only hope that the Namies' will continue their work and that their next book will give us even more insights into recognizing and treating the stress caused by prolonged duress on the job. Hopefully by then the USA will have provided the kinds of legal protections for bullied workers that so many other countries are adopting and refining.

THE BULLY AT WORK looks at the latest issue in the work place--allowing a manager (or in some cases a co-worker)to demean you as a method of control and keeping you from seeing your value as an employee of a company. This practice occurs within many companies. Some don't offically authorize it but sanction it by ignoring it or ignoring the problem(bringing it up to HR only indicates to those within that department that they are not doing their job in many cases making them defensive). Many managers get away with it in large corporations because the people they work for never are on the receiving end of these mind games (and make no mistake they are mind games). Large corporations whether they be a large company like Novartis, Kaiser, IBM and smaller organizations often lose good people by allowing what amounts to harrassment to occur.

The authors outline the steps you need to take to derail the psychological manipulation, restore your self confidence and sense of self worth. In some cases, that means leaving a company. Often these companies ignore the signs (high turnover within an office or district, complaints mentioned in exit interviews)because of concern over lawsuits. This enables the disfunctional person behind these humilitations to continue to their assault on employees and make no mistake it is an assault comprising a form of psychological rape.

The authors identify the various personalty types, types of abuse and what makes someone a Target. They also make suggestions to disable employees from becoming Targets and discouraging the manager/supervisor from continuing their onslaught. Just because a manager discontinues harrassing one employee doesn't mean they won't continue doing this because according to the authors it springs from a deep seated insecurity and bullying as children by their parents or other children. Sadly, as the authors point out the Targets of bullying allow the bully to act out on their aggression and usually the bully has no insight into their actions or unethical behavior.

You're not imagining it. This book will help you act and deal with these psychologically disturbed individuals wrongly put into positons of power.

This book saved my sanity when I was going through a workplace bullying situation a few month's ago (Me: a multi-skilled, well liked 40ish female, Bully: an incompetent, power hungry, controlling 60ish female). It was my 'Bible' during that time. It helped me realize that my situation was common and gave me options (rather than just quitting due to the stress). It provided valuable ideas of things to do and people you can contact to support you, rather than just feeling horrible and self-destructing, which is how any normal person would feel under these circumstances (totally powerless).

Because of the actions I took (even though the internal grievance process for unlawful harrassment turned out to be 'unsubstantiated' just like the book warns), my incompetent "boss" leaves me alone and no longer speaks to me at all, which is so much better than before.

I can't thank the authors enough. I read and re-read this book late into the night and recommend it so highly for it's empowerment and feeling of not being the only person in the world to go through this.

If you are being bullied at work, GET THIS BOOK!

I can sum up the content of this book in a few statements: 1. Being bullied at work is unfair and painful; 2. Management will not support you; 3. There is virtually no legal recourse to bullying at work; 4. The best thing to do is find another job.

Oh yeah, there's lots of psychobabble in between, but if you read between the lines, they are basically telling you there's not a thing you can do about bullying at work. The authors are pushing their own Institute's agenda, which is to have anti-bullying laws passed in the USA (as they have been in many other countries). I totally support this agenda; I just don't think this book was of particular help or interest to me, a professional who is being bullied at work by an uneducated, verbally abusive thug.

While the authors purport to support people who are the Target of bullies, there is some subtle blaming-the-victim going on in this book that I find very offensive (that Targets may be self-defeating,without good boundaries, self-blaming,etc.)

At the same time I purchased this book from Amazon, I also purchased Mobbing:Emotional Abuse in the American Workplace. I found it a much more helpful, frank book. Yes, the bottom-line message is the same, but minus the offensive psychobabble.

I became clinically diagnosed with depression as a result of constant humiliation and torment at my job. My boss was a true-blue Hitler and made it clear to all my co-workers that she intended to get me fired. I then saw Dr. Namie on the Early Show and bought the book. Upon reading this book- I found it validating that I wasn't being just a baby- that this is a real epidemic. With the help from a lone coworker, and this book, I reported her behavior and she was promptly fired.